Sometimes I wish I was more stereotypically "aspie"

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EzraS
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06 Mar 2014, 3:51 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
The way I look, and the way I act, I can "blend in" to NT society fairly well. The thing is, socially and mentally, I feel like I'm worlds apart from most NT individuals, and when I try explaining to a lot of them that I'm not NT, or that I'm different from them in certain ways, they don't "get" it.


Understand what you are saying.
Have contemplated the difficulties of blending and and yet being separated.
It sounds like purgatory in a way to me.
Am kind of glad in a way that my autism is so pronounced that it would
be pointless for me to try appearing NT.
Can only imagine how stressful and draining that can be.



Last edited by EzraS on 06 Mar 2014, 4:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

EzraS
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06 Mar 2014, 3:57 am

b9 wrote:
it is unfortunate that asperger syndrome has become stereotyped as a "cool" way to be by young people who idealize it as "naive genius".
young people seem to have an image of asperger syndrome as:


(too long did not read all soz)

Not many of the young people I know tbh.
"What's ass burgers?"
"is a form of autism etc"
"oh so you're a tard"



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06 Mar 2014, 4:18 am

b9 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
^It appears we've got a mind reader in our midst who knows all of what goes on in 'young peoples' minds concerning aspergers.

i forgot to insert "i think" at the beginning of each sentence i wrote above.
i also forgot to add the disclaimer "but i may be wrong" at the end of my post.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I feel like if I where to ask most teens what they think aspergers is they would say 'what is that?'
i was not referring to teens who have not heard of AS (which i assumed would have been obvious) or teens that have no desire to adopt the label. i also was not referring to teens who genuinely have AS.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I wonder what do old people think about autism?
it is irrelevant to what i said because i was referring to young people who are embarking upon acquiring a self image. old people have long settled upon whatever they think they are (usually). i am not old or young, but i just think that autism is a deficit in my brain that does not allow me to tune into "vibes". i hear all the time about "vibes", but vibes mean as much to me as purple means to a person who was born blind.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I just don't think this massive amount of young people rushing to be considered autistic in order to join some cool club that some people with aspergers complain about actually exists to the extent they claim.
you may be correct. i just had a few minutes to spare and indiscriminately responded to the OP. i have a few more minutes to spare now because the output of the program i was waiting to finish was gobbledegook and i am now waiting for an amended version to run.

it just seemed to me that someone asking how to act more "stereotypically aspie" was a bit of an oxymoron, and it attracted my attention, so i responded. i do not claim to be omniscient. i only say what i think.

it is good that you have confidence in your contest of what i said, but there are 7 billion other people who can also be disagreed with, so i am not sure why what i say matters to you. maybe you are cloaking my post in order to repave the way for a more suitable course for this thread to take, and i allow that my input is probably not helpful to the OP.


I certainly don't see it as some special gift or anything, it makes it difficult to function regardless of the fact some people with autism might develop some special talent or skill. I guess if I saw more younger people striving to fit into the autism club to be 'cool' or whatever, it would piss me off some too...i just don't see it, I don't really hear or see much about autism or aspergers outside this forum, so not sure it really gets enough exposure to be much of a trend.

I mean crap I am 24 and on SSI because having autism along with co-morbids prevents my ability to function...its not all that cool to be unable to hold a job and live on a small set income and still live at home in a crappy basement room which flooded a bit last spring from rain leaking in the window.

Point is I have seen plenty of people try to claim autism is some great advantage or this or that, of varying ages...I have yet to meet someone or hear of someone who actually thinks autism is cool and tries to act like they have it, and so I am assuming its not very common.


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06 Mar 2014, 4:37 am

EzraS wrote:
b9 wrote:
it is unfortunate that asperger syndrome has become stereotyped as a "cool" way to be by young people who idealize it as "naive genius".
young people seem to have an image of asperger syndrome as:


(too long did not read all soz)

i presume "soz" means "sorry". you need not part with any "sorry" in your "sorry" inventory to donate to me.
whether or not what i say is read by you is not a defining factor in what i post.
i spoke to a boulder for about 3 hours one day, and i was satisfied with the conversation. i never found out whether the boulder was similarly satisfied but i did not care anyway.

EzraS wrote:
Not many of the young people I know tbh.

it is also unnecessary to add the "tbh" which i believe to mean "to be honest"
i do not suspect you of dishonesty.

EzraS wrote:
"What's ass burgers?"
"is a form of autism etc"
"oh so you're a tard"

whatever that means i will leave to your own understanding. i do not correspond with a world that is prejudiced.



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06 Mar 2014, 5:09 am

the program is still not working correctly so...

Sweetleaf wrote:
b9 wrote:
raa da da de da


Sweetleaf wrote:
I certainly don't see it as some special gift or anything

i was not thinking about you when i posted what i posted so there is no need for you to adopt a defensive position.

Sweetleaf wrote:
it makes it difficult to function
i know it does. i believe you have AS and i believe you know how it feels, but i was not talking about you in my original post.


Sweetleaf wrote:
regardless of the fact some people with autism might develop some special talent or skill. I guess if I saw more younger people striving to fit into the autism club to be 'cool' or whatever, it would piss me off some too...i just don't see it

it is not so much that people strive to fit in to the autism club. it is much more that they wish to redefine it to suit their own personalities. i have read on this forum that people with asperger syndrome are more empathetic than "NT"'s, and they then go on to claim that they have so much empathy, that "NT"'s are unable to fathom the depths of their empathy and so "NT"'s erroneously believe that people with AS have no empathy.

i am not going to embark upon a tired old discourse about empathy or sympathy because the subject has been exhausted in other threads, but i do not subscribe to the idea that people with AS have an overabundance of what they were previously assessed to lack.

i am simple and straight forward and my personality is not a gossamer web of intrigue and magic, and i believe you are also straight forward so i understand you.


Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't really hear or see much about autism or aspergers outside this forum, so not sure it really gets enough exposure to be much of a trend.

i was not talking about the majority of society being seduced by widespread coverage of AS. i was talking about a subset of young people on this forum who believe they are superior to other "average" people.
i was referring to people who are at worst scornfully denigrating of average people, and who are at best, haughtily approving of whatever they feel they are different to society about.

there are many egomaniacs in the population, and those people like to consider themselves as unique and incontrovertible.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean crap I am 24 and on SSI because having autism along with co-morbids prevents my ability to function...its not all that cool to be unable to hold a job and live on a small set income and still live at home in a crappy basement room which flooded a bit last spring from rain leaking in the window.


please do not feel the need to defend yourself against my sentiments i originally posted.
i was lucky that i got a job that paid well and i can now afford to cast the world and it's obligations aside, and if i was in your situation, i would feel squashed by the requirements of a world that i do not understand. i was not talking about you in my original post. i believe you. what you say seems true to me.



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06 Mar 2014, 7:47 am

EzraS wrote:
mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
The way I look, and the way I act, I can "blend in" to NT society fairly well. The thing is, socially and mentally, I feel like I'm worlds apart from most NT individuals, and when I try explaining to a lot of them that I'm not NT, or that I'm different from them in certain ways, they don't "get" it.


Understand what you are saying.
Have contemplated the difficulties of blending and and yet being separated.
It sounds like purgatory in a way to me.
Am kind of glad in a way that my autism is so pronounced that it would
be pointless for me to try appearing NT.
Can only imagine how stressful and draining that can be.

That to me is the point.

I look at all the suicide posts here and know I am not alone in experiencing the world as draining and stressful.

It's tempting to wish for not being expected to make that constant effort.

I think that's a mirage, though. Life is an effort, more so with any disorder, any disability. The people crying out that they have AS and were not properly diagnosed because of someone's incompetence are suffering more than the norm, whatever that is. The people with autism, whether mild or extreme, suffer too.

And if we had more empathy for one another and more tolerance for others' good parts despite what seems different and what we do not like, the stress would be less.

All we can do is try to provide the compassion and acceptance everyone of us needs. And sometimes get hurt anyway.



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06 Mar 2014, 9:07 am

DevilKisses wrote:
I just posted a question on yahoo answers asking people if they think Asperger's syndrome is cool. Most of the people on yahoo answers are young people. You can see the question here.


I'm shocked but happy that everyone agrees that it ISN'T cool to have Aspergers.



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06 Mar 2014, 1:38 pm

Soccer22 wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
I just posted a question on yahoo answers asking people if they think Asperger's syndrome is cool. Most of the people on yahoo answers are young people. You can see the question here.


I'm shocked but happy that everyone agrees that it ISN'T cool to have Aspergers.


I am not surprised at all. That is much to small a sample to be definitive. I suspect that if you took a scientific survey of Millennials the results would be similar. I suspect a lot of the Aspergers as trendy, Aspie wannabe talk is from bullies, people who never believed High Functioning Autism is real in the first place, or a marketing campaign by insurance companies to have less people diagnosed. Unfortunately it seems a majority of us have internalized this garbage and indications are diagnosis is dropping.

The above does not mean I oppose finding and publicizing the positives or feeling it is part of who you are. These things have helped people who for years or decades thought they were hopeless and broken. Bullies and few Aspie supremacists should never have been allowed to make these things into a negative.


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06 Mar 2014, 5:22 pm

b9 wrote:
the program is still not working correctly so...

Sweetleaf wrote:
b9 wrote:
raa da da de da


Sweetleaf wrote:
I certainly don't see it as some special gift or anything

i was not thinking about you when i posted what i posted so there is no need for you to adopt a defensive position.

Sweetleaf wrote:
it makes it difficult to function
i know it does. i believe you have AS and i believe you know how it feels, but i was not talking about you in my original post.


Sweetleaf wrote:
regardless of the fact some people with autism might develop some special talent or skill. I guess if I saw more younger people striving to fit into the autism club to be 'cool' or whatever, it would piss me off some too...i just don't see it

it is not so much that people strive to fit in to the autism club. it is much more that they wish to redefine it to suit their own personalities. i have read on this forum that people with asperger syndrome are more empathetic than "NT"'s, and they then go on to claim that they have so much empathy, that "NT"'s are unable to fathom the depths of their empathy and so "NT"'s erroneously believe that people with AS have no empathy.

i am not going to embark upon a tired old discourse about empathy or sympathy because the subject has been exhausted in other threads, but i do not subscribe to the idea that people with AS have an overabundance of what they were previously assessed to lack.

i am simple and straight forward and my personality is not a gossamer web of intrigue and magic, and i believe you are also straight forward so i understand you.


Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't really hear or see much about autism or aspergers outside this forum, so not sure it really gets enough exposure to be much of a trend.

i was not talking about the majority of society being seduced by widespread coverage of AS. i was talking about a subset of young people on this forum who believe they are superior to other "average" people.
i was referring to people who are at worst scornfully denigrating of average people, and who are at best, haughtily approving of whatever they feel they are different to society about.

there are many egomaniacs in the population, and those people like to consider themselves as unique and incontrovertible.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean crap I am 24 and on SSI because having autism along with co-morbids prevents my ability to function...its not all that cool to be unable to hold a job and live on a small set income and still live at home in a crappy basement room which flooded a bit last spring from rain leaking in the window.


please do not feel the need to defend yourself against my sentiments i originally posted.
i was lucky that i got a job that paid well and i can now afford to cast the world and it's obligations aside, and if i was in your situation, i would feel squashed by the requirements of a world that i do not understand. i was not talking about you in my original post. i believe you. what you say seems true to me.


I wasn't getting defensive, simply stating I don't share the view that its some special gift...and so if there are people in my age group and younger who do feel that way I am not one of them. I think I mostly agree with what you've posted. If you meant a sub-set of people in this forum I could see it there are some here who even think they are superior to NTs because of being on the spectrum which is ridiculous.


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06 Mar 2014, 5:41 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:
Soccer22 wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
I just posted a question on yahoo answers asking people if they think Asperger's syndrome is cool. Most of the people on yahoo answers are young people. You can see the question here.


I'm shocked but happy that everyone agrees that it ISN'T cool to have Aspergers.


I am not surprised at all. That is much to small a sample to be definitive. I suspect that if you took a scientific survey of Millennials the results would be similar. I suspect a lot of the Aspergers as trendy, Aspie wannabe talk is from bullies, people who never believed High Functioning Autism is real in the first place, or a marketing campaign by insurance companies to have less people diagnosed. Unfortunately it seems a majority of us have internalized this garbage and indications are diagnosis is dropping.

The above does not mean I oppose finding and publicizing the positives or feeling it is part of who you are. These things have helped people who for years or decades thought they were hopeless and broken. Bullies and few Aspie supremacists should never have been allowed to make these things into a negative.


I feel really stupid because I read your response many times now and I still don't get what you're trying to say in response to my comment. Sorry :?



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06 Mar 2014, 6:13 pm

Soccer22 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Soccer22 wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
I just posted a question on yahoo answers asking people if they think Asperger's syndrome is cool. Most of the people on yahoo answers are young people. You can see the question here.


I'm shocked but happy that everyone agrees that it ISN'T cool to have Aspergers.


I am not surprised at all. That is much to small a sample to be definitive. I suspect that if you took a scientific survey of Millennials the results would be similar. I suspect a lot of the Aspergers as trendy, Aspie wannabe talk is from bullies, people who never believed High Functioning Autism is real in the first place, or a marketing campaign by insurance companies to have less people diagnosed. Unfortunately it seems a majority of us have internalized this garbage and indications are diagnosis is dropping.

The above does not mean I oppose finding and publicizing the positives or feeling it is part of who you are. These things have helped people who for years or decades thought they were hopeless and broken. Bullies and few Aspie supremacists should never have been allowed to make these things into a negative.


I feel really stupid because I read your response many times now and I still don't get what you're trying to say in response to my comment. Sorry :?


I think he is trying to say those responses in the link are not scientific proof that lot of people don't think AS is cool. Those responses are in the minority and we would have to hear responses from thousands and millions of other people to see the statistics for how many people think AS is cool and how many think AS isn't cool.


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06 Mar 2014, 10:21 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
b9 wrote:
the program is still not working correctly so...

Sweetleaf wrote:
b9 wrote:
raa da da de da


Sweetleaf wrote:
I certainly don't see it as some special gift or anything

i was not thinking about you when i posted what i posted so there is no need for you to adopt a defensive position.

Sweetleaf wrote:
it makes it difficult to function
i know it does. i believe you have AS and i believe you know how it feels, but i was not talking about you in my original post.


Sweetleaf wrote:
regardless of the fact some people with autism might develop some special talent or skill. I guess if I saw more younger people striving to fit into the autism club to be 'cool' or whatever, it would piss me off some too...i just don't see it

it is not so much that people strive to fit in to the autism club. it is much more that they wish to redefine it to suit their own personalities. i have read on this forum that people with asperger syndrome are more empathetic than "NT"'s, and they then go on to claim that they have so much empathy, that "NT"'s are unable to fathom the depths of their empathy and so "NT"'s erroneously believe that people with AS have no empathy.

i am not going to embark upon a tired old discourse about empathy or sympathy because the subject has been exhausted in other threads, but i do not subscribe to the idea that people with AS have an overabundance of what they were previously assessed to lack.

i am simple and straight forward and my personality is not a gossamer web of intrigue and magic, and i believe you are also straight forward so i understand you.


Sweetleaf wrote:
I don't really hear or see much about autism or aspergers outside this forum, so not sure it really gets enough exposure to be much of a trend.

i was not talking about the majority of society being seduced by widespread coverage of AS. i was talking about a subset of young people on this forum who believe they are superior to other "average" people.
i was referring to people who are at worst scornfully denigrating of average people, and who are at best, haughtily approving of whatever they feel they are different to society about.

there are many egomaniacs in the population, and those people like to consider themselves as unique and incontrovertible.

Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean crap I am 24 and on SSI because having autism along with co-morbids prevents my ability to function...its not all that cool to be unable to hold a job and live on a small set income and still live at home in a crappy basement room which flooded a bit last spring from rain leaking in the window.


please do not feel the need to defend yourself against my sentiments i originally posted.
i was lucky that i got a job that paid well and i can now afford to cast the world and it's obligations aside, and if i was in your situation, i would feel squashed by the requirements of a world that i do not understand. i was not talking about you in my original post. i believe you. what you say seems true to me.


I wasn't getting defensive, simply stating I don't share the view that its some special gift...and so if there are people in my age group and younger who do feel that way I am not one of them. I think I mostly agree with what you've posted. If you meant a sub-set of people in this forum I could see it there are some here who even think they are superior to NTs because of being on the spectrum which is ridiculous.


I don't see it as superior or inferior, good or bad only necessary just as necessary as nts .

I don't think its positive or negative just a thing, a thing that makes me me .


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07 Mar 2014, 2:26 am

Soccer22 wrote:
ASPartOfMe wrote:
Soccer22 wrote:
DevilKisses wrote:
I just posted a question on yahoo answers asking people if they think Asperger's syndrome is cool. Most of the people on yahoo answers are young people. You can see the question here.


I'm shocked but happy that everyone agrees that it ISN'T cool to have Aspergers.


I am not surprised at all. That is much to small a sample to be definitive. I suspect that if you took a scientific survey of Millennials the results would be similar. I suspect a lot of the Aspergers as trendy, Aspie wannabe talk is from bullies, people who never believed High Functioning Autism is real in the first place, or a marketing campaign by insurance companies to have less people diagnosed. Unfortunately it seems a majority of us have internalized this garbage and indications are diagnosis is dropping.

The above does not mean I oppose finding and publicizing the positives or feeling it is part of who you are. These things have helped people who for years or decades thought they were hopeless and broken. Bullies and few Aspie supremacists should never have been allowed to make these things into a negative.


I feel really stupid because I read your response many times now and I still don't get what you're trying to say in response to my comment. Sorry :?


You are not stupid. My mind and my writing style can be garbled at times

I was trying to say.
1. A few posts of a Facebook page is not scientific proof about how young people feel about Asperger Syndrome
2. My opinion is that if there was a legitimate survey of young people the results would be similar to what as on that Facebook page. Most people would not think AS is cool.
3. There has been discussion here and by professional psychologists about people thinking they have Aspergers when they do not have it or deliberately faking having Asperger Syndrome because they think Aspergers is something trendy and cool to have or to get disability benefits. It has been reported that one reason Asperger Syndrome was subsumed into Autism Spectrum Disorders was this belief. A number of posters here say they do not want to be identified with Aspergers because of its association with trendiness or Aspie superpowers belies the real difficulties they are experiencing because of it.
In my opinion these groups of people instigating this "trendy" talk
A. People who never believed that any form of "mild" or "high functioning" autism is "real" autism or is real but has been over diagnosed.
B. Bullies who by saying Aspergers is trendy and not real want to make people with Aspergers believe they are lazy, excuse making weak, broken people.
C. Insurance companies launching a viral marketing campaign designed to make people believe it is over diagnosed for the purpose of driving the number of people being diagnosed down.

While there not enough evidence prove it scientifically based on the posts I read here and elsewhere I have concluded that significant number if not the majority of apsies have internalized the idea that being associated with Asprergers is a bad thing for reasons listed above. This frustrates, angers and saddens me greatly in part because I do not believe most young NT's think it is cool.


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07 Mar 2014, 12:53 pm

I think that this is an example of the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" but I am not sure.
This is because you would like to be left alone but being left alone can result in loneliness and depression.
However, I may be reading the situation wrong and if I am, sorry.
I am going to make an analogy:
This is like if you lived in London and saw what somewhere such as Italy looks like,
you would probably say (most people would) "I would like to live there, it looks nice".
But some people in Italy look at good pictures of London and say "I would like to live there, it looks nice".
I provided this explanation because I don't know if you know what the phrase means.


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07 Mar 2014, 3:11 pm

LifUlfur wrote:
I think that this is an example of the phrase "the grass is always greener on the other side" but I am not sure.
This is because you would like to be left alone but being left alone can result in loneliness and depression.
However, I may be reading the situation wrong and if I am, sorry.
I am going to make an analogy:
This is like if you lived in London and saw what somewhere such as Italy looks like,
you would probably say (most people would) "I would like to live there, it looks nice".
But some people in Italy look at good pictures of London and say "I would like to live there, it looks nice".
I provided this explanation because I don't know if you know what the phrase means.


I know full well what it's like to be isolated for long periods of time, from a year and a half I spent hiding in my room only coming out once in a while basically to eat and run errands. Not fun. I lost much of my grasp on socialization, became really depressed, started having even worse problems with my OCD/anxiety tendencies. It was a vicious circle, as I spent more time hiding in my room, I became more and more screwed up, and as I became more and more screwed up, I spent more time hiding in my room. I eventually broke the cycle by taking a month long vacation to my home town, and while I was taking that trip, I managed to set up my current living arrangements.

I don't want to be isolated more like that, really, I wish I just had more support from my friends and family, and from the healthcare and government agencies that deal with individuals on the spectrum. Unfortunately, as I appear "NT" for the most part, no one would take me seriously if I say needed to quit working for a while to seek treatment for my mental health issues. As well, like I mentioned before, since people basically assume I'm NT on first glance, and treat me as such, I have to deal with acting the part, and I don't have nearly as much freedom to be myself.



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07 Mar 2014, 4:17 pm

And this is what I was saying.
This is because earlier you said something along the lines of "I wish people would say, hey that guy has aspergers, let's not bother him".
But this would happen on a larger scale and people might not want to interact with you at all.
This happens with me a lot.
And this links back to the grass is greener on the other side.


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