Anyone Curse Themselves when Alone?

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Whenever I am working alone, in my garage, I tend to be overly critical of everything I do. If I do something I see as below my standards, I will become irate at myself and curse myself out, vocally. This cursing is far worse than anything I would say to anyone else. Even been caught by surprise before where someone heard me before they could see me and they thought I was ready to fight someone. Any thoughts on this or suggestions? Thanks.

I think that you are just being too hard on yourself. Always stride for higher standards but always expect a little less in the end. Give yourself a little "elbow room" as the old saying goes.

When I become irate, It`s as if there are two people. One person yelling and cursing another person that they think is too stupid to even live. I know it is some kind of self-loathing behavior even though I have never intentionally hurt anyone or been unkind to anyone.

Sometimes.

I struggle with low self-esteem.

My mum and I both do this usually alone but sometimes in front of each-other or with the other in another room of the house.

I often tend to speak to myself when I am alone, usually it is cursing myself and some negative monologue. It only happens when I am alone, but it is not really something I control. I can stop it if I notice it but I start doing in an automatic way, without being aware of it. I don't know if it is an autistic thing, a consequence of anxiety, or a both.

While it is not really a problem, it is not pleasant and it feels like it is definitely not a sign of good mental health. (I speak only for myself and report my experience, I am absolutely not judging anyone else or giving my opinion on their mental health.) I would be happy to have more information on that phenomenom and to be able to stop it. The therapists and doctors I mentioned that too are not worried about that (most of the time they are worried it could be some kind of schizoid delusion but dismiss the idea when they understand I am perfectly aware it is just somme self-deprecative BS and not someone else in my head) but they didn't give me much help either.

Very timely post.

Yes, I just released a gusher of superlatives at myself.

I can't believe I was so f---ing stupid as to not write down the values on the pressure gauges of a two-stage compressor system because NOW the GD thing is not cooling and I don't know if it is leaking refrigerant ($3k )or if the GD bypass valve is messed up.

And what is really f----ing stupid is that I am not licensed to work on it, and the person that is is out with carpal tunnel, so it might be more like $5k to get the f---ing thing working again.

How could I be that stupid? Jeezuz H F---ing C sake all it would have taken would be to snap a few pictures with the cell phone, upload them to the Google Drive acct and I would have had something to compare to.

I think I need to be punished. Maybe like points at Hogwarts, only these are Aspie points, and I lost quite a few of them.

Maybe I should have to sit in the corner on a stool with a hat that says "NT".

I'm always a perfectionist, and I'm always overly-critical of myself, regardless of whether I'm by myself or with others. That said, I find I become even more of a perfectionist in front of other people, and it drives me nuts since I tend to screw up and make really dumb mistakes under pressure.

People tell me all the time that I shouldn't be so hard on myself, that I should take it easy, whatever, but I find that since I'm not very good at gauging how much effort I need to put into something, that it's better to just try my absolute best instead of going for "good enough". Whenever I do try to go for "good enough", I often end up not putting in nearly enough of an effort to accomplish whatever task it is I need to accomplish, and that ends up putting even more pressure on me to correct my mistakes.

I'm notorious for giving up on things halfway through, and while people often think that I give up due to a lack of effort, I find it's usually because I put so much effort into something, and have so much pressure put on myself to get it done "right" that I simply can't take it and need to step away to relieve that pressure. Whenever I walk away from something for a while, often times I won't come back to it, since that pressure will start to build again when I fathom how much effort I was exerting and how much pressure I was under in the first place.