question about Abuse and Autism

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So do you think aspies and people with autism are more susceptible of being abused? Have you been abused? Has your parents or past ex's ever abused you? in what ways?

Both more susceptible to abuse as well as more susceptible to feeling abused when what is happening is simply unpleasant.

If you don't mind answering, and I don't mean to pressure you, are you just asking, or is someone hurting you, or are you unsure?

I was emotionally/mentally abused by my parents. I think they are also autistic, and I know my mom also suffered from all forms of abuse. Also I had been in a couple abusive relationships and I find that I can easily be manipulated or coerced to doing things I don't fully want to do.

My boyfriend/ future husband is very sarcastic in nature and sometimes I think I take things the wrong way but I can't read sarcasm very well. Sometimes I get really frustrated that he cant just stop being sarcastic or at least warn me not to take his sarcasm the wrong way before saying something sarcastic. Either way I know I'm safe with him.

I just figured I'd ask generally if there are others out there that have been abused in the past to get an estimate if abuse can be an aspie issue if not taught the right things to protect yourself. I don't want to see other people like us being abused.

A lot of us tend to be very passive and shy, myself included. I've never been "abused" but I've certainly been around a lot of people who felt they could get whatever they wanted from me.

Sticks and stones never broke my bones but the scars in my brain don't show...

DD got bullied because she was 'different'

DD is 10 now. Shortly after she got diagnosed I was told that she would eventually develop her own coping mechanism. It's a slow process.
Myself as a child I eventually figured out that if I listened to the nice people and ignored the ones that were horrible to me as much as I could it helped to make me feel better. I'm 48 now, it worked in so far I have a reasonable self-esteem but I never managed to extend my skills to deal with obnoxious people that abuse and bully very well.

Some people take a lack of understanding of their negative intent as willingness to have them hurt. And then will get angry over your objecting when they do hurt you. Even sarcasm can go this way.

When I don't think someone presents a risk to my safety, I either say something mild back about how they are treating me or I more often, because it is easier, just try to say something empathic about whatever the person is upset about that isn't me. If they are really treating me poorly, though, sometimes there is not a way to respond that doesn't make things worse other than to be direct.

If I catch things early, something like "what's got you in such a bad/good (sarcastic) mood today?" And then listening nicely to the problem to emphasize the importance of that problem, and the reality I didn't create the problem, often helps.

I was diagnosed with aspergers late in life because it didn't get called that officially until then - I was diagnosed as a savant first, then as an autistic savant, in infancy - then as a witch in childhood - and finally as an autistic psychopath in my teens - so I've had pretty bizarre life of not knowing properly who I am, why I'm here, how I got here, what I'm supposed to do now I am here and what comes next

In terms of abuse, I've had my fair share, alienation from my parents as they were conscientious objectors and were under house arrest when I was a baby so I didn't bond with them, but with my mother's maternal grandfather, whom we lived with, and was a widower and retired and my virtually constant waking companion while my parents were employed in 'reserved occupations'

At schools, though regarded as a celebrity due to my aspie family background and amazing, natural, aspie 'gifts', the teachers isolated me in a locked storeroom so I wouldn't disrupt the curriculums by having melt downs into near death comas as was my want

In childhood the label 'witch' attracted a concerted campaign to kill me because the Bible says 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live' forcing me to attempt to kill myself before my parents would listen and withdraw me from the state education system

The campaign did not end there however, but was revived when I began going to grammar school to study by way of a couple of articled pupillages I won at age 11 and ended with me having my skull cracked open at 15 while walking home from school after qualifying professionally to development missionary settlements for my church in former colonies of England around the world - the incident caused me severe amnesias and total loss of personal identity so I lost my opportunity to escape all the social prejudice and develop a life abroad

It happened on the grounds of the county education authority who held a tribunal of inquiry to establish the extent of their liability to retrain me, with the result that I had a wonderful career here in the united kingdom helping improve health, wealth and happiness of billions of people around the world

On the discovery that I was an aspie, I encountered the professional prejudice that I wasn't legally competent to do my job, but overcome that by proving that I was by my professional conduct and continuing professional development

I was therefore asked to coach and counsel other people with it or suspected with it, and have been doing that for the past 20 years, and written an autobiography of my life of autism and aspergers that I published at the end of last year (December 2013) after retiring from my professional career at age 65, in 2010.

I am still married to my teenage sweetheart and we have a 30 year old daughter and two grand kids aged 5 ad 6 - so we aspies can live happily ever after despite all the abuse we get to suffer in the course of our lives - if I could go back and do it all again I would without changing a single thing - it was the best bare-knuckle ride in this theme park called life - woo hoo!

Yes, people with autism are more likely to be victims of abuse. Statistically, I think the figure is about four to five times more likely, something like that.

As a kid I was abused physically, emotionally, and psychologically, and suffered medical neglect. I survived, though, and I never quite broke. I do have some mild PTSD issues, but nowhere near what some abuse survivors have to deal with.