I had a really bad meltdown yesterday. It was the worst one I'd had in years, and it was very different from my normal meltdowns. Generally, when I have a meltdown, I shout and scream and lose control. Yesterday's event was more like a shutdown.
I found myself curled up on a couch, eyes covered, unable to move or speak, for hours. Inability to speak has never been a problem for me. (As a child, I was hyper-verbal, rather than non-verbal.) But there I was, completely unable to speak. I put on a CD of the most complex, avant-garde music in my collection, and I was just lying there, with my head covered, completely unable to do anything.
I've felt helpless before, and this is not the first time this has happened. But it lasted longer and was more intense than any shutdown I've had in recent years. And I really don't remember ever being unable to speak for more than a short period of time.
Eventually, after hours, I got up, and my functionality was restored. I'm doing much better today.