Page 6 of 10 [ 160 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next

StarTrekker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant

12 Feb 2017, 3:00 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
How do you get autistics to voluntarily crowd into a noisy room and network with each other?

Hold a Star Trek convention.


Lol that literally happened to me when I went to Trek Con four years ago! :lol:


_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!


The Unleasher
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 Jan 2017
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Posts: 530
Location: United States

13 Feb 2017, 9:15 am

Here's my horrible attempt at a joke.

A father says to his son, "Looks like the cat's out of the bag."
The son asks, "Where? The only cat I see is the only dangling for its life in the tree!"

(It's a pun on how some people of the spectrum take things literally. Also how the father is ignoring the cat.)


_________________
Just counting down the time til' I can get outta here and the journey begins.


SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

13 Feb 2017, 11:18 am

I've seen a couple of posts on social media regarding why you need to be specific to your husband , not neccesarily autism jokes.

"So, I asked my husband to buy six potatoes ..."

Image

"Last night, I asked my husband to put some spaghetti on the stove so I could start dinner when I got home."

Image

"My wife asked me to peel half of the potatoes and put them in the pot ... mission accomplished I'd say."

Image


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


CharityGoodyGrace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,124

14 Feb 2017, 7:18 pm

These are all so hilarious, as long as nobody takes them seriously and they aren't meant.

If you're Aspie and yo uknow it flap your hands.
If you're Aspie and you know it flap your hands.
If you're Aspie and you know it and your Tourette's wants to show it,
if you're Aspie and you know it flap your hands.



Claradoon
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,964
Location: Canada

14 Feb 2017, 10:31 pm

teksla wrote:
sharkattack wrote:
A charity collector stops a man in a mall.

He asks the guy would he like to donate to autism support.

The guy says all I have on me is a credit card and 86 cent but I am not given that I know those people with Autism can't handle change. :D

That is hilarious


I don't know any jokes but I can't let this thread die!
:lol: :lol: :lol:



Erewhon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,364

15 Feb 2017, 1:00 pm

Daniel Tammet als vervanger voor een Texas-instruments 'zak'-rekenmachine :)

Image



Claradoon
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,964
Location: Canada

15 Feb 2017, 1:22 pm

Erewhon wrote:
Daniel Tammet als vervanger voor een Texas-instruments 'zak'-rekenmachine :)

Image


I can almost see why that is funny. :D



italiangirl
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 7 Feb 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Italy

15 Feb 2017, 1:33 pm

RichardJ wrote:

If I see a spider I grab it and throw it out of a window. If there isn't a window, then I either flush it down the toilet, suck it up the vacuum cleaner, or eat it if it is a small one.


I love this thread and I love this!



SaveFerris
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Sep 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,762
Location: UK

15 Feb 2017, 1:52 pm

RoadRatt wrote:
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon, and he's lost.

He lowers himself over a field and calls to a guy "Can you tell me where I am and where I'm headed?"

"Sure. You're at 41 degrees 2 minutes and 14 seconds North, 144 degrees 4 minutes and 19 seconds East; you're at an altitude of 762 meters above sea level, and right now you're hovering, but you were on a vector of 234 degrees at 12 meters per second."

"Amazing! Thanks! By the way, do you have Asperger's Syndrome?"

"I do! How did you know that?"

"Because everything you said is true, it's much more detail than I need, and you told me in a way that's no use to me at all."

"Huh. Are you a clinical psychologist?"

"I am, but how the heck did you know that???! !??"

"You don't know where you are. You don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air. You put labels on people after asking a few questions, and you're in exactly the same spot you were 5 minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"


best joke so far imo


_________________
R Tape loading error, 0:1

Hypocrisy is the greatest luxury. Raise the double standard


Erewhon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,364

15 Feb 2017, 2:39 pm

Anti Aspie Cream 8)



italiangirl
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 7 Feb 2017
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Italy

15 Feb 2017, 3:38 pm

Erewhon wrote:
Anti Aspie Cream 8)



this is amazing!
(it only bothers me that the first 2 times she says 19,99 there is 19,00 written on the screen... damn.. it really bother me! :lol: )



Surf Rider
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Feb 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 97
Location: California

15 Feb 2017, 9:18 pm

Comedy theorists tell me that comedy is about tragedy. Autism, being tragic in many ways, is therefore already funny, and doesn't need much enhancement to get laughs.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 107 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 122 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits


ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,580
Location: Long Island, New York

15 Feb 2017, 10:34 pm

italiangirl wrote:
Erewhon wrote:
Anti Aspie Cream 8)



this is amazing!
(it only bothers me that the first 2 times she says 19,99 there is 19,00 written on the screen... damn.. it really bother me! :lol: )


^^^^
This


_________________
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


SteveSnow
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 23 Dec 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 172
Location: Minnesota

16 Feb 2017, 9:17 am

Erewhon wrote:
Anti Aspie Cream 8)



That was great, thanks for sharing!


_________________
I'm not a doctor but I play one on t.v.


Erewhon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,364

17 Mar 2017, 6:57 am

Mirror, mirror on the wall.
Who is here the most uglyiest forum member from us all :?:



LydiaLovegood
Butterfly
Butterfly

Joined: 16 Sep 2016
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 9

03 Apr 2017, 1:03 pm

I actually learned about this in my Play Analysis class. I think it's called like Gallows Humor or something. I dunno.

Like us autistics have the right to joke about being autistic, but Allistics don't. In fact there's a whole tumblr blog in which autistics submit things that "cause autism," which kinda pokes fun at the whole "vaccines cause autism" thing. And I think it's really cool, especially when Autism $peaks is trying to tell the world we are "suffering with autism."