Do you readily share information about yourself with others?

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Based upon a recommendation in a WP thread, I began reading “Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome” by Valerie Gaus. In the book, Dr. Gauss talks about Improving Social Cognition. She discusses one of her interactions with a patient:

This really made we wonder. As when “hanging out” with others (which I don’t do often), I rarely pay attention to this stuff. Likewise, I really don’t like to share this type of information with others (simply put, I don’t really like talking about myself, what I do, etc.). I am not 100% certain why, but it probably has something to do with the fact that I consider myself (who I am, what I do, what my hobbies are, what my interests are) to be rather boring (and maybe a bit odd) to the normal person. For example, I have no intention of sharing with people the fact that I spend hours each week writing in my journal, reading Aspie books and perusing WP. In other words, it doesn’t make sense (at least to me) to effectively come off as, “Hi I am Rocket and I am as dull and odd as they come”.

Anyhow, I was wondering how others felt about this topic? Also, does the fact that I do not like sharing stuff about myself automatically limit my ability to establish relationships?

I think that not sharing things about yourself could come across as being stand offish, depending on how much you don't tell about yourself, I think if someone tells you about what they like to read then you also tell them about what you like to read.

but I am not sure how much you should talk about yourself in general, if you say too much you might seem self absorbed and if you say too little people might see it as unfriendliness, its confusing.

I fear I say too much, but I think that's as how you relate to people, but sometimes others see it as being self absorbed but I don't understand how else you connect with others.

I definitely think I tend not to think of asking people (my "close" friends") about themselves too deeply– however, I tend to focus on asking them questions to keep the conversation going, only rarely inputting my own stories. I, too, tend to see my life as boring, and especially so my interests and such. I definitely lack knowledge about my close friends in terms of favorite things to do, music, etc. If they have told me, I either don't care to remember, or do only because they obviously display it so often that I remember it just as a common fact. When I talk with people, if it's not about one of my interests (looking back...), I tend to just contribute enough superficially to keep it going on their track of conversation– I basically let them talk and soundboard for them.

I share things through my writing online but offline I do not let anyone know about me other than what they can see and assume. I don't care what people assume. I have shared myself online one time before and got scalded because I allowed myself the weakness of thinking the person I shared with actually cared. I never knew something like that could have such an impact on my perception of reality. I have tasted the saltiness of my own teardrops as a result of this scalding that it has changed my life. I have learned that the sweet taste of honey on my tongue is sometimes disguising the edge of a razor that leaves a scar that will always be felt. I have learned about the importance of establishing and maintaining barriers. And the knowledge that barriers such as these must be erected is more painful to my heart than the hurt that the barriers are built to protect me from. And I learned about such barriers from the one that scalded me so brutally to begin with.

No I don't readily share anything about myself, even when people ask directly, I don't like to say much. I find it really nosy and invasive when people ask me about my life or my interests. If I want to tell a person something about myself, I usually just tell them, I don't wait around for them to ask. Vice versa I don't like to ask other people too much about themselves, unless it's just to expand on something they have already volunteered, I just feel like it is none of my business. A lot of the time, I'm not really interested anyway. And I just don't have the mental energy to expend on collecting trivia about other people. I do well enough just to remember what they look like and what their name is.

The thing that really makes me different from other people is they can do MORE THINGS in a day or a weekend or whatever. They can work all day and go out in the evening and still get up for work the next day, or they can take a trip over the weekend and get home late Sunday night and still get up and go to work Monday morning. I can't do that, I need lots of downtime and sleep and rest. Yeah that probably makes my life "boring" to them. It would be nice if I felt like doing some of the things they get to do, but I don't.

I have taught myself to ask people about themselves. This is easier once you understand that people usually have interesting things they know or have experienced that you can ask them about. You have to watch out that you don't sound like you're interrogating them, but if you get a person talking about themselves, it's easier to listen and figure them out, especially when you're first meeting them, so you can better interact with them later on.

Interesting.If my friend or my mum asks me then I'll very readily share. Edit- Actually, my mum doesn't even have to ask me and I will go and on with her.

Last edited by daydreamer84 on 19 Mar 2014, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Only when asked and really relaxed.

I'm pretty much the opposite.
I'm always talking about myself, saying too much, shooting myself in the foot basically.
I can't even shut up when I know I should most of the time.
To stop myself from talking I have to put my tongue between my teeth and hold it there.

Sometimes I envy those who find talking difficult.

Throughout my life, the urge to talk about myself has come and gone in waves. I can pinpoint periods of my life when I was willing to share anything to the point of making others feel uncomfortable. Yet there have also been times where I could barely answer obligatory small-talk questions. I now tend not to say much about myself unless I know they are to be trusted.

I used to once but now I don't anymore.

Not really. It depends what information though, and the person.

I do think that limiting what you share about yourself is detrimental to forming friendships, sure. Maybe not a death sentence for a social life, but it's harder for people to feel a common bond with someone when they don't know anything about them that might be meaningful. It's worth picking and choosing what you're open about and who you share information with.

I tend to not share much information about myself because I don't find mundane life or social sharing rituals very interesting. I ask simple questions about pets, cooking, and the weather to be polite while I think about other things in the background. There are enough people out there who are happy to dive right into the fun topics that I'm not currently worried about those who aren't.

Yes, for the most part, I'm really open about my life. Maybe too open. I just feel this really strange need to know as much as can about a person, and vice versa.

Yes, I do tell people openly about myself if they ask.
I have been told that I am far too trusting.

Same here.
I have learned not to blurt out anything about myself, but it has taken me many years.