Had a rethink of this thread feel free to lock.

Post Reply New Topic

Skibum and Sethno your correct.

Along with my heart of stone I can admit when I get things wrong.

I don't think I would get a job on a depression help line.

Last edited by sharkattack on 29 Mar 2014, 11:56 am, edited 3 times in total.

I agree, and many people on the spectrum need to control themselves better in public. When you rock or flail our arms in public you look ridiculous.

What is whinging?

I agree that there is not much that I can do about my sensory problems. I have tried so many different things. But I think that for me, at least, it is important to be able to cry and whine about it every now and then. The ability to do that helps me to not go crazy and end up postal or in an institution or dead. I think the outlet and release is good. I suck it up and buck up constantly like I am sure we all do so being able to let out that frustration periodically is very healthy and important I think. I don't think we should whine about it all the time but sometimes we need to let it out.

I don't mind looking ridiculous in public. If it comes to rocking or screaming and throwing things and ripping someone's face off I'll choose rocking.

I understand your last comment and agree with it and before people respond they need to read it carefully.

You said MANY people need to control themselves better not ALL.

Yes we know some people CAN NOT control this.

Going on about something in a negative way for a prolonged period.

However complaining about social problems is different because people usually offer advice on how to deal with these situations better moving threads into a positive mode.

Sensory problems there is no answer unless you want to lock yourself up away from the world.

You are right when you say some cannot control it. I know that even for me, there are times when I can control it and there are other times when it is involuntary and I don't even know I am doing it until I happen to notice that I am. But there are ways to stim discreetly also and if you can manage to do it discreetly than you don't risk looking ridiculous or scary to others. But I would much rather see someone flap or rock or whatever they do than to have to have them try to hold it in just for the sake of those who might be observing.

I have had NT's tell me that they snap gum because it relaxes them and that they have every right to do it. It is not as much of a social faux pas as hand flapping but it is a Misophonic trigger for me and I will certainly have very intense thoughts of wanting to rip your face off and gauge your eyes out if you snap gum around me. But I have to control myself and not do that. I think it's a little unfair to ask the Misophonics and Autistic people to have to be the ones who always have to suck it up in all situations.

People tell me that I have to suck it up when others play their bass on their stereos as loud as they want even though it literally makes me physically ill and it sends me into all sorts of massive sensory overload. But they don't have to control themselves in public. And that one is even worse because it's not just in public. It invades my house and my private space. So if I should have to control myself in every single situation? Why can't they be expected to also? I feel like even in situations when I am the one getting hurt I am expected to control myself to protect the comfort and social expectations of the people who are hurting me.

And I know that they are not doing things specifically to hurt me or to attack me specifically. In fact people tell me that all the time as a reason why I should control myself when I am being bombarded by these things. But even if it is not specifically aimed at me or like many say, the person doing it does not even know I exist, the result is the same. I am being hurt by it. So by the exact same argument NT's should understand that when an Autistic person stims it is not a personal attack on them.

Last edited by skibum on 29 Mar 2014, 11:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's true that people need to keep pushing forward and "trying" no matter what, but...

You come across as having all the compassion and understanding of a stone.

Why don't you try telling a mirgraine sufferer to just ignore the pain and keep moving on? Or maybe a person suffering from cancer?

Using the migraine example, light alone can CRIPPLE someone.

Those who suffer from sensory issues related to autism likewise may end up UNABLE to move on. The intensity of what they're going thru can make it impossible for them to "ignore and move on", at least for the time being.

You're showing a lack of understanding for what OTHERS go thru, and you're assuming everyone else is like you.

If anything, you're showing that you're on the spectrum. Thing is, YOU should know better and YOU should be aware that your personal experiences are NOT all there is.

You dropped the ball on this one, S.A., and you should rethink your comments here.

Two bits in bold text above.

Point one your right it's not fair however a survival guide book I got for Aspergrs says life is not fair.

As regards you 2nd point they can get away with this again it's not fair but you will get a worse reaction then they do because you are in a misunderstood minority.

You are absolutely right Shark Attack.
But I still think that if people need to stim they should no matter how ridiculous it looks to others who don't understand it.

Thank you!

All the points in bold your right.

Again my post did not come across as I meant.

I don't know where I get it but I have a strong sense of never give up fight in me I am trying to share it not very successfully.

I, for one, very much appreciate that. I can see now what you are trying to say and how you are trying to encourage. Thank you. I appreciate that spirit very much. It is important for us to have a spirit of never giving up the "fight" otherwise we risk going crazy or worse. I know that is how I feel about my struggles and issues. It is a tough fight and a daily one but the spirit to persevere and do whatever we have to do is good.

You're awesome SA!

That's funny!

I don't think this thread should be locked. I think we just had to understand what you meant. Once I understood it made all the difference.

sharkattack, there are so many decent, moralistic people here who would never come out with such a thing. **

Congratulations for admitting you are human with faults. Seriously, most people do not have the courage to admit this, including those people with so-called morals. I like people like you.

** (Sarcasm used)

No I am being honest I am glad you were honest enough to tell me I dropped the ball.

That is a big part of the problem being on the spectrum people say things behind our backs but not to our face.

As regards the thread your right it was meant to give people the will to push on not deflate them.