Diagnoses. 42years later!!

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I fell in love with Shaun 15 yrs ago. I am 'normal' i.e not Aspergers....but far from normal. We couldn't make it work. His temper was out of control and I couldn't live with that. BUT he was the ONLY person that I ever loved. I loved his honesty and his forthrightness. Of course I was attracted to him. 15 years after meeting him and after numerous attempts at having a relationship we reunited. My friends child was Aspergers, my employees child was Aspergers and my Best friends husband was Aspergers. I must attract them!! ! LOL

I realised that Shaun may be Aspergers and I booked in privately to have him diagnosed because the UK NHS are worse than useless.

Shaun has been suicidal numerous times. He has asked for help for 20 yrs.

We reunited and wanted it to be different this time. I researched and made the appt with an expert in this field.

Getting Shaun to the appt was nerve racking but he made it and Dr Louise Connor was AMAZING. She put him at ease. Not a feat that is acheived easily.

Shaun has been diagnosed with Aspergers. He feels relief for all manner of reasons. He says his mind is 'defragmenting'. He says that he has 'been given a ticket to live'.

He feels understood for the first time in his life.

I love him, I love his honesty. And moveover I love that he has some peace of mind for the first time in 42 years. x

Wow, That is so great. Super congratulations. That is an awesome story. Shaun is super lucky and blessed to have a friend like you. Hugs to both of you. That is such great news. Hopefully Shaun will become a member here as well and get lots of support and encouragement.

I was diagnosed last year at 28. I was/am much like the guy you speak about. I also went through the NHS route and it took a long time to get someone to listen. One doctor looked through all my history, all the mental health issues, and then he referred me. It took a year to get an appointment from the referral. The referral was originally because my mental health and my state of mind was bad. The problems in life got so much for me that I fell into a horrible depression and attempted suicide. I was really struggling to handle everything and started to think it was all in my head and I'm the problem. Nobody knew why, but when I explained how I was feeling and why I was feeling it a spark went off.

I spent time in prison for computer hacking where I was also going through a referral. My solicitor was convinced there was a medical issue, but the judge wouldn't have it and I was sentenced. Thats originally when I began to research Aspergers. I got released before I got the referral and they "lost" my paperwork. Conveniently.

But it's been a long road. As I say in previous posts I wish this would have been picked up when I was young.

Shaun has been given all the pills the doctors have to offer....He has been 'diagnosed with Bi polar, schizophrenia, depression.

I met him at 31. I am now nearly 47. We have always loved each other but couldn't be together because of his temper.

I feel like life has opened up for both of us. He feels liberated and understood and I feel liberated and understood.

When the doctor gave his diagnosis we both cried our hearts out.

He watched South park the Assbergers episode and laughed and I tell him about the books I am reading about Apergers and we both laugh.

I read in one of the books I am reading 'written by an Aspergers person', we don't 'miss' people.

I text Shaun and said do you 'miss me' when we are not together. He said ' we text and speak all the time on the phone, why would I miss you'.

He is the love of my life. Why??? Because he is HONEST, he doesn't wear a mask, it is how it is. And you can't argue with that. If he says he loves me HE DOES! LOL

Aspergers....you are blessed. xxx

WP welcomes the both or you. We are blessed to have you guys here.

Thank you. I will attempt to get him to post.......All very new to him. I know you understand....

He is amazing.

I do understand. It can be a bit overwhelming. But it's all good. Whenever he's ready. Don't force him.

I'm an Aspergian and was diagnosed at age 42 also. It was a relief. I no longer felt so alone; so alien; so different.
I still had a LOT of baggage to deal with. All the kids that picked on me. People that abused me. So many shallow 'normal' people that just just a bunch of shallow a-holes. I've spent a long time studying normal people and always felt like I would never be enough no matter how hard I tried. Now I understand that my my gifts are not typical and if I embrace them I can do things that most cannot. Also with continual effort I can improve socially through Toastmasters and other things but slower than most would.

Aspergers is just a specific kind of brain wiring; it isn't bad and isn't wrong.
It is just different. Shaun's anger is his own and he needs to let it go. He has to forgive the people that hurt him and has to stop expecting reality to be other than it is. Once Shaun focuses on who he is he can embrace his gifts. He has to accept his strengths and choose to work on his weaknesses.
He is blessed that you love him. I can't speak for him but for myself love is an unbreakable thing. If he is like me and he loves you it is eternal.
Be patient and give him a bit of wiggle room.
Your love can change his life.

43 for me.

After hearing about Asperger's on a radio phone-in I thought about it for a further year before going for a diagnosis.

That is so wonderful! Good on you!!

Diagnosed at 41, know what it feels like to get a ticket to live.

I was discarded by my aspie friends and lover just before my breakthrough. PTSD is a b***h.

You two are so lucky to have each other

41 for me. it would have happened a lot sooner if I could have just realized that my social problems where in fact cause my autism. A psychiatrist literally had to walk up to me and tell me what was going on. if I hadn't ran into that psychiatrist, I wouldn't be here at WP nor would I be getting the help I need.

As a person who found out who I really was at age 55 last year relief seems to mild a word for what I felt. Thanks for pointing him in the direction that allowed him to have those feelings.