Jealousy

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Hello everybody, I'm sorry for making another post regarding the same question but it's quite urgent right now. EVERYTIME someone mentions my special interest which is astronomy/theoretical astrophysics a part of me gets killed off (not literally, I mean that I'm almost going insane). And my way of coping with the problem is to actually live in my own world where everything revolves around me on a non narcisstic way, just so that I won't feel jealous of other people (probably because of that I wanna be the best at what I like)

So how do I cope with this in a natural way without going into my own world? I never seem to get problems when it comes to relationships, couldn't care less about that. Please give me some advice even if it is unconventional, I accept any form of assistance.

Also, how do you react when you're in a similar position? Example, when someone a lot younger than you expresses knowledge in a topic of your special interest, do you suddenly lose it by going mad or what? My emotions pretty much gets diminished besides the disapointment & jealousy then.

With kind regards, Quantum.

Have a nice day.

Jealousy is beneath me. Just like the last part of the word says. It's lousy. When someone talks about my special interests, I usually take a step back, listen, and take in as much as I can. There may be something there I missed, can learn, or do not know about. Sometimes when they are wrong, I do not correct them either. I just let them believe whatever they want. However, when I think it is my turn to talk, I try way too hard to get my point across.

I voted no because while I can get a bit peeved when one of my special interests becomes well known it doesn't bother me too much. Yournamehere summed it up pretty well. I normally have little interest in joining a conversation so it's nice when someone starts talking about something that actually interests me. But even then I'll often do what yournamehere suggests almost to the letter. If this is something that you feel is really affecting your life negatively you could always seek counselling about it. Other than that, try to find some joy in other people loving what you love. That means they must be pretty cool by your standard of measure, right?

we are on different halves of the spectrum but have never in thirty years experienced jealousy towards anyone or anything,am pleased for anyone who gets things am not able to get or who know things am not able to learn.
do not understand why humans feel jealous towards others either.

One thing is for sure. Being a man. When a women likes you , tries to make you jealous, and it doesn't work. Game over.

Jealousy is illogical, never could feel that or understand that. If another is happy due to situational, material, or relationship I am just happy for them. Why be jealous of someone's good fortune?

Special interests? Never jealous. Actually, its quite the opposite, whenever someone is discussing a special interest of mine, if I'm comfortable enough with the specific situation, I will often join the discussion. Socially though, I can get a bit more jealous than I would like to admit.

I can relate to that, Quantum. As a child I was interested in (but not a special interest and not obsessed with) astronomy. In junior high a classmate knew more about it than me, and that made me lose interest in it.

For the last 22 years or so, turtles have been my special interest. I have never met anyone IRL who loves turtles, so IDK how I'd react if I did, but online I follow turtle sites and it doesn't make me feel anything negative (other than when it comes to how bad the situation is for the endangered ones and how people's dumbness hurt turtles, but that's different). So maybe that wouldn't be the same IRL either, but I can't say. I might just resent them a bit for doing what I can't do and likely never will get the opportunity to do.
I love what they're doing for the turtles, so I hope I wouldn't.


I can definitely be jealous of people, and not restricted to relationships.

Jealousy is common in most humans, and I'm no exception to it. But I don't get jealous of how much money other people have or if they have nice homes or how pretty they are, etc. I get jealous of other people having social and romantic relationships. I think it's due to loneliness and fear of being left behind. It all started when I was about 12, when my cousin (who was the same age as me and was very close to me) started spending week-ends with her best friend and not inviting me out with them, and if they did invite me she wasn't the same. I used to get so upset and wished the girls in my class would invite me round their's at week-ends. I just felt so lonely and left out. And from then on, I have always been jealous when other people get flirted with, and I've always compared myself to other people socially. Maybe it's because my Asperger's and the issues it causes just gets to me and I am afraid of being different from others.

But since I have gone on anti-depressants, I haven't felt as jealous of other people. I do a little because I think it's just part of me, but it's not so strong. So maybe my jealous feelings was more to do with depression and letting things get to me.

I do not feel jealousy generally. I do get annoyed when people assume that I am jealous of them when they get an expensive car or something, though, because that kind of thinking makes us adversaries.

Quantum, I can absolutely relate to you. I don't know if what I feel is jealousy though. I think it's more ego driven anger. When someone talks to me about skiing or swimming or even singing and they obviously have no idea what they are talking about and they keep insisting that they are right, I get inflamed and angry. I feel this huge welling up like a fire in my chest and I just want to scream. I have found that the best strategy for this is to literally protect my special interests. I don't talk about them with anyone unless they are worthy. What I mean, is if you are just casually mentioning skiing to me like some of you do here I really enjoy that. I know that some of you don't know the first thing about skiing and others are much better skiers than I am. I am happy to engage in a ski conversation with any of you at any level. Some of you might teach me a great deal about it and others of you might be learning some of the most elementary basic concepts but either way, I am happy to talk to you because the conversation is real. If someone who has skied once a year a couple of times insists that he knows how to buy a ski boot when it is obvious that he has no idea how to do it and if he insists on challenging me on what I know is true about the facts of fitting and buying ski boots, I will not tolerate having a conversation about ski boots with this person. I will refuse to talk to this person about the subject. This is the only way I have found to keep the rage under control. I hope this helps.

Well I know next to nothing about Astronomy so I promise you that any conversations that you might have about it with me will be you teaching me and me glad to learn from you! But definitely protect your interests. Only talk about the to the people that you want to talk about them with. You can control who that is and if people are idiots just let them know that you will not discuss the subject with them. I have literally told some people, "I will never ski with you and I will never talk to you about skiing so do not bring it up again." And if they try to insist on bringing it up I just walk away.

Maybe in relationships but not with interests, if someone brings up a topic that interests me it's hard to contain myself actually. Sometimes I'll yak at them for a hour or more if they let me. Me and someone else having a mutual interest in something is about as close as I get to someone.