Crippled.

Post Reply New Topic

I wish I could have an "on / off" switch for my hearing. I walk about the house with industrial grade ear defenders on.

I hate having complex sight problems. It would be great if I could go to a shop and buy really dark sunglasses. I'd wear them all day.

I have bruises all over my body due to self harm during meltdowns and my skin has been picked off in various places due to my dermatomillomania.

I cannot understand things when people speak to me. It sounds distorted and confused.

I unintentionally p*** people off and getting in trouble with them.

To be honest I feel suicidal.

I am trying to study for exams but my autism is crippling me. I like the special interests and unique way of seeing things but everything else is s***.

Any advice on how to cope?

If it is possible, I'd suggest trying to organize a meeting with other autistic people on this site (particularly those who hold regular meetings) so that you can make some friends that will understand you well enough to stick with you through your 'social errors' (rather than view them as being 'your fault') or whatever you would like to call it.

Having a friend like that would help you immensely, especially if they could aid you in getting your hands on some glasses etc.

_________________
Unapologetically, Norny.
-chronically drunk

Hang in there! There are people who understand and care. I DO wear sungasses indoors about half the time.If people ask about it.sometimes i tell them it is because I am autistic and have sensory issues. Sometimes I just tel them Ihave especially sensitive eyes. Many people wear headphones. I don't,but I do wear foam earplugs [super cheap. they'llbe in sporting goods,speciffically with hunting supplies]

I attend a GRASP group, and the facilitator[ an amazing and respected woman, one of the 3 who put together ANI] who has the difficulty in underdstanding what people are saying. She has no probem saying 'slow down and start over again."

I know that sometimes I can learn neccesary information that I have no personal interest in by singing it over and over again. Often I will dance as I do it. Crazy dancing. Then, after the dancing and singing,I can sometimes sit down and get the rest of the info down pat. [but yeah, even for an Autitic I am weird as hell]

Also, maybe you should hook up with a good Auititic support group [maybe one at your school?]

If you are in the US, you might want to invest in attending either the replacement to Autreat,I think it is being held in PA in late June or July. You could enjoy the company of others in autistic Space for 4 or 5 days. [plus earn ALOT] there is also autHaven, similar but much smaller in size in Colorado in either march or April. There is another one in the UK that also sounds beyond awesome. I also have heard that Jim Sinclair is also working on a retreat on the east coast. These events could also hep you feel :finally at home."

I have no experience with self-harm or picking at my body. There are others here who do.

Please remember you are not alone. People DO care. I know I do. And 24 is so incredibly young. There will be good times, and not so good times. [ as I recall 24 was a pure hell time for me]

I am an old woman with advanced breast cancer. I have an extremely ill son, and my husband just got out of the hospital with congestive heart failure. I hate knowing I don't have alot of time to do what I still want and need to do. I love life. At 24 I HATED it. But I love it. Even with the good, the bad, the ugly and the GLORIOUSLY BEAUTIFUL!

I'm sorry to read that you are feeling so bad. Don't you have some kind of student supporter where you study? Maybe they can help you.

I don't really have advice, since I'm not as badly affected as you are and I can't imagine how that must feel. I can give a few suggestions, but they may be useless for you.

Do you have your own quiet/dark room? If you do, you could study in there, or just relax under a pile of blankets and duvets. If you don't, you need one.

I don't know how your hearing is affected, but when I study or write I use headphones with music on. It's still noise, but it's noise of my choosing, and since I play the same songs over and over there are no surprises. It blocks out all other sounds. But that may not be suitable for you. There are also white noise CDs, which I have used in the past.

As for dark glasses - those exist of course. You can buy fairly dark sunglasses in shops, but there are also medical glasses for people with eye problems. Perhaps your GP can advice you on that.

Thanks all.

I live in Surrey, England. I went to an Asperger's social and it was awful. Held in a pub that had the football on. I ran out and had a seizure on the street (I get partial seizures when subjected to severe sensory overload).

I'm going to search online for alternative Asperger's clubs.

My mental health team care coordinator applied to the National Autistic Society for government-funded support regarding autism. In just waiting for the form she filled in for me to be processed.

I'm still in supported housing and I hate it.

I'm going to find some good ear plugs and wear them all day. Either that or I destroy my auditory system (it is that bad).

I'm going to ask my dad if he'll pay for me to get prescription very dark sunglasses. Can't get them free on the NHS any more unfortunately.

Where can I buy a really heavy blanket? So that I can get deep pressure to calm myself.

I closed the curtains but my window won't shut properly.

I cannot listen to music while studying as that confuses my brain.

Thank you all for your ongoing support.

I'm going to become partially nocturnal. It's quieter at night.

Clonazepam and olanzapine keep me alive. And clomipramine helps me to be less obsessional.

You sound really frustrated. With all of that going on, it's no wonder you aren't very happy right now. Exams on top of it all is probably adding to your stress and making your usual problems worse, so it seems like things are just completely unsolvable.

The ear defenders are a good idea. What is keeping you from buying sunglasses? Do you have trouble shopping by yourself? If so, who buys your food and other necessities? Could they help you buy some sunglasses? Many people will start wearing them at this time of the year (in the Northern hemisphere), to keep the glare from the summer sun out of their eyes.

When people speak to you and you don't understand, can you get them to repeat things, write them down, or state them differently to make them more clear? If not, do you have a speech therapist who can teach you how to do that?

For now, I think it's best to just ignore everything but those exams and whatever you need to do to feel comfortable. Shut out the world and study. Let the neurotypicals annoy each other instead of you for a change. It's not their fault they're annoying; they haven't got a clue how sensitive an autistic person can be; but still, it's exams--you don't need the extra crazy right now.

This is great advice.

Thank you.

I'm going to wear ear plugs all the time from now on, or ear defenders.

The problem with sunglasses is that they would cost more than £200 as that is what my lenses cost for my transition lenses in my normal glasses. I have Irlen lenses on another pair of glasses but I need darker than Irlen lenses. I did some research and apparently I could get clip on dark lenses. I will see if I can buy any online that will go over my prescription glasses.

I struggle to go to the shops alone. Last time I went to a supermarket in Sutton without assistance, I was escorted out by security for having a huge meltdown and throwing milk cartons everywhere while screaming. They nearly called the police but I managed to yell "I'm autistic, leave me alone!" I usually buy food online or go to a local newsagent which is quiet normally.

I'm also anxious about an upcoming visit I'm making to my family in Cyprus. My friend booked special assistance for me at the airport under developmental disability. But I get panic attacks on planes due to claustrophobia / noise.

That's good advice about the communication. And I'm going to ask my care coordinator about speech therapy.

I suffer from migraines which get severe when I'm overloaded. Cluster headaches sound awful.

I'm going to go into my own world of pharmacology and biochemistry study and ignore the annoying people here. I hope the carer won't enforce lengthy conversation

Thanks again.

This is great advice.

Thank you.

I'm going to wear ear plugs all the time from now on, or ear defenders.

The problem with sunglasses is that they would cost more than £200 as that is what my lenses cost for my transition lenses in my normal glasses. I have Irlen lenses on another pair of glasses but I need darker than Irlen lenses. I did some research and apparently I could get clip on dark lenses. I will see if I can buy any online that will go over my prescription glasses.

I struggle to go to the shops alone. Last time I went to a supermarket in Sutton without assistance, I was escorted out by security for having a huge meltdown and throwing milk cartons everywhere while screaming. They nearly called the police but I managed to yell "I'm autistic, leave me alone!" I usually buy food online or go to a local newsagent which is quiet normally.

I'm also anxious about an upcoming visit I'm making to my family in Cyprus. My friend booked special assistance for me at the airport under developmental disability. But I get panic attacks on planes due to claustrophobia / noise.

That's good advice about the communication. And I'm going to ask my care coordinator about speech therapy.

I suffer from migraines which get severe when I'm overloaded. Cluster headaches sound awful.

I'm going to go into my own world of pharmacology and biochemistry study and ignore the annoying people here. I hope the carer won't enforce lengthy conversation

Thanks again.

The ear defenders are a good idea, I'm considering getting some heavy-duty ones for myself to wear at school because all the extraneous noise gets too much in a hurry, and earplugs take too long to put in and take out for avoiding things like flushing toilets, squeaky doors or occasional traffic; having something to briefly slip on then take off again would be useful. One thing I would point out though is that it's not a good idea to wear them all the time; eventually your ears adapt to them, and when you take them off, they're more sensitive than they used to be. I'd try to use them only where you really need them, like in crowded restaurants or in lecture halls at the beginning of class when everyone's talking.

I would also definitely see about getting your curtains fixed; even a small amount of light can be overwhelming when all you need is total darkness, though it may be so small you're not aware of it at first.

I also find that a weighted blanket helps contain a lot of my sensory overload problems; it helps a lot when I feel like I'm about to fly off the handle at one more tiny sound. They're expensive, but worth it. If you can sew, you can cut the price in half by making your own (my mom made mine for me.) Good luck, both with the sensory issues and your exams, I hope everything goes well!

Thanks for the advice.

I hope you can get the ear defenders.

I just had to suffer half an hour of the carer chatting about really inane things and the other residents replying with small talk.

I'll be moving out soon into a flat of my own (I've been in supported housing for five years now), so I can customise my flat to suit my sensory needs.

woud not recommend wearing ear defenders or ear plugs all the time,as that is what made the hyperacusis of mine develop to a profound level,it lowers tolerance to sound in the long term.
was destroyed by it,was even unable to listen to music at any level for many years until was sectioned in greenways ID hospital and was given sound therapy every week.

also,worsening sensory issues,the sight sensitivity,not understanding when people speak...these coud actualy be related to the medications as side effects so itd be worth speaking to the doctor.

as for the weighted blanket,ask social worker to be refered to the OT, they shoud be able to give one for free but it might depend on borough, had got two [one extremely heavy weight full length blanket and one extremely heavy weight lap blanket] for free through the OT of the social services learning disability [ID] team.

The only thing i could add to this is about the blanket,i use a sleeping bag that is rated for -2c (or -5 cant remember) it has 5lbs of insulation.i cant coment on the other sensory issues as they are obviously not as bad as yours but the advice given by others seem spot on.i agree with kingdom of rats on completely blocking out these senses can make you more sensitive to them.
Hang in there,ive been at the end of my rope a few times and always had to think of loved ones and how it wouldnt be fair to them.if i gave in to my depressions i would have been dead 8 years ago.

Ok I won't block out sound too much. Just that noise triggers my migraines.

I'll ask my OT about the weighted blanket.

When I move out into my own flat, I'm going to be in more control of my surroundings.

What was sound therapy like?

I'll have a chat with my psychiatrist about the possible meds issue.