Do you find it difficult to talk to Doctors?

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inachildsmind
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19 Apr 2014, 12:02 am

Went to the E.R tonight and I dreaded it because I never say everything I am thinking I want to say. When they come in time after time asking me the same question "So whats the problem?" or "What is the trouble?" I get anxious about how I say it and I end up fumbling with my words or talking like a kid (using little description or too much sounding very unintelligent). Then the more they ask me, the more upset I get because I feel like they dont believe me and I start to feel like maybe I dont have the pain I went in there for like, maybe they are right? Maybe I am lying? Sounds crazy right, but its true. I start to think they dont believe me and I start to think maybe I am making things up and I should just leave. EVEN though they have told me why they ask the same questions so much, I still get there thinking something else eventually. Tonight I had a plan of what to say and how to say it, how to describe things and if I felt they were not listening then I would put my foot down and tell them how serious I was. NOPE I got to talk a bit better when in the triage the first time but after that it went downhill. I ended up leaving again, with tons of questions and little answer to my problem. I feel so annoyed afterwards with myself. Anyone else feel helpless when trying to get some help?



RedEnigma
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19 Apr 2014, 1:01 am

Prepare a script before you go. It will help keep your thoughts organized.
Worse comes to worse, write down everything and had notes to your doctor.
Try to keep calm during the doctor interview, anxiety will make it hard to get your point across.

Good luck!



RedEnigma
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19 Apr 2014, 1:05 am

Prepare a script before you go. It will help keep your thoughts organized.
Worse comes to worse, write down everything and had notes to your doctor.
Try to keep calm during the doctor interview, anxiety will make it hard to get your point across.

Good luck!



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19 Apr 2014, 1:06 am

You went to the ER today, how are you now?

I "hand notes over". I habitually (now) bring someone with me to every dr appointment for my kids also.

I have problems with speech anyway, but doctors are the absolute worst to communicate with.


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Tahitiii
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19 Apr 2014, 1:22 am

Stargazer43 wrote:
You guys should get together. I think, underneath it all, that what you're complaining about is mostly the same thing.

For me, it's talking in real time. I can't put it all together fast enough. Preparing a script doesn't help when I'm talking to a real person. And they don't like it when I write a note that I want them to actually read.

Also, like "inachildsmind" said, I don't really believe anyone is listening or believing or understanding, mainly because past experience says they usually don't.

If I say too little, the point is not made. If I say too much, they get tired and tune it out and the point is not made. There doesn't seem to be anything in-between. Many people honestly believe that you can cram complex problems into a soundbite, that if anything takes more than fifteen seconds you're wasting their time. And I'm dumb enough to try, even when I know it's impossible. I aint' got nothin to say that can fit in a soundbite.

Oh -- also, people in general, and doctors in particular, don't like to be educated by people they consider inferior.

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IamRob
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19 Apr 2014, 2:09 am

I have the same issues.i don't mind going for obvious stuff,lets say a broken limb or a cut that needs stitches they know what to do and i don't even really need to say anything.but for anything else its a struggle.
I went a few weeks ago and like the op it wasn't so bad in triage,i had notes so i didn't forget anything and the person didn't seem to mind and even comforted me a little,but after waiting for something like 8 or 9 hours it started to get to me especially since the er was getting fuller and louder.
Finally my turn was up,pulled my notes out and i could almost feel the judgment starting.even with the notes i was all over the place and even managed to forget some details.finally made my case and got some answers.
Triage that night sucked, a little girl maybe 6or7 needed a couple of stitches.when i left she was still there.it would have taken 10 or 15 min max to take care of her.in and outs should be a priority aswell.



EzraS
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19 Apr 2014, 2:50 am

I'm usually okay with my lifelong pediatrician who specializes in autistic kids.
But any other doctor than him I go totally mute.



mr_bigmouth_502
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19 Apr 2014, 5:03 am

I can't stand talking to doctors. They always want you to hurry up and just spit out what you want to ask them about, and then afterwards they're like "you sound depressed, here take these pills", instead of offering any actual help. At least that's what the ones I've seen have been like. The last few times I went to see a doctor, I had to bring my dad with me to explain what was wrong, but now I don't have that option.

I actually need to see a doctor some time in the near future about some *rather personal* issues, but I have no idea how I'm going to line things up or explain it all to him.



LookingLost
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19 Apr 2014, 8:22 am

I think what you wrote matches situations I often get into with professionals. I think it depends on the person, some doctors etc. I seem to get on quite well with, in that we seem to understand each other fairly well, or they understand what I'm trying to say at least. With others I think we don't understand each other as well, if the questions they ask or statements they make don't seem accurate or relevant to me then I have trouble correcting them, get anxious, and end up being misinterpreted/ led into saying something or agreeing to something I don't think is true, while completely missing the point I needed help with.
I think it is partly chance and partly my fault/down to my problems communicating effectively. I'm bad at explaining things, bad at asserting myself, and if I get uncomfortable I go half-mute, as well as stuttering, fumbling for words, and probably appearing childish and/or stupid. Things would probably be better if could clarify things properly when misinterpreted.

You said you went to the ER, is the reason you went (illness, injury etc.) any better now? Hope it isn't causing you too much discomfort.


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19 Apr 2014, 11:13 am

am both non verbal and speech impaired [echolalic speech when verbal,the non verbal side happens when part of the brain switches it off as it has been witnessed on EEG] so have a communication barrier in place already, but am always with two support staff who the doctors immediately go to,and am completely blanked usualy as they think am a non functioning shell because of having autism and ID.

have ocasionaly had AMAZING hospital doctors, ones that have used PECS to communicate with,every time have had an general anaesthetic due [got one end of this month] the intelectual disability nurse visits the house with lots of pictures to show the route we will be going, pictures of the equipment and each hospital staff will be meeting and she even brings some of the equipment with her so am able to feel it and get used to it-very useful when have not had a GA in a while.

OP,
am going to be having three teeth out on the twenty ninth this month and afterwards when recovered from the GA am going to be going to a conference at another part of the hospital to help mencap and the social services intelectual disability team train the hospital staff on how to deal with us-am going to be making sure they understand autism as well not just ID.
if woud like to put forward anything to help
doctors become more aware of the issues faced across the spectrum then please feel free to post them.


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Jacoby
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19 Apr 2014, 12:30 pm

I find it difficult to talk to almost anyone about any problem I'm having, doctors included. Bad combination since I can be quite the hypochondriac sometimes too.



IG88
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19 Apr 2014, 1:35 pm

Not at all.

In fact, I overwhelm them with every Psychological/Autistic/Psychiatric (Self) diagnosis and the probable cause along with the potential remedies.

I can't help myself.

I find most Psychiatrists/Psychologists sorely lacking in understanding in cause and treatment.

Plus, I've been told by many that they support a patient being "involved in their own treatment plan". Great! But, that just opens my floodgates. :D

I always come prepared to my appointments well-informed in what I must know for my successful treatment (Not that my plan always works. It often does not).



inachildsmind
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19 Apr 2014, 4:21 pm

LookingLost wrote:
if the questions they ask or statements they make don't seem accurate or relevant to me then I have trouble correcting them, get anxious, and end up being misinterpreted/ led into saying something or agreeing to something I don't think is true, while completely missing the point I needed help with.


THIS! I always end up agreeing and then when I leave and my anxiety slows down, I get so upset with myself because I really did not WANT to agree. Then my problem never gets taken care of. I actually did that last night.Yes, I am okay. I went to the E.R for abdominal pain. I still am in discomfort whenever I eat but its because I have Gastritis. I also have a hernia and I originally went because my other DR. thought maybe it was my appendix. I never ended up saying anything about my appendix because the conversation never went that way. I am calling a GI doctor in the morning and the coating medication they gave me should help relieve the discomfort when I eat till I am able to get proper medication.

Thank you for your concern.



Rocket123
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19 Apr 2014, 9:49 pm

The OP asked, Do you find it difficult to talk to Doctors?

Not at all. I typically annoy them by asking too many questions (e.g. when they are performing a procedure on me).



BeggingTurtle
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20 Apr 2014, 2:27 pm

I never had these problems, because I hate my doctors and even told them I hated them outright sometimes.


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CockneyRebel
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20 Apr 2014, 4:30 pm

My old doctor was a breeze to talk to. I could talk to him about anything and he didn't ask me stupid questions about my basic life skills because he knew that I could do my own laundry, cooking, cleaning and pay my own bills. The fascist character of a doctor I have now asks me personal questions about my ability to do those things. It annoys me and I have a feeling that she wants me to be in a boarding home. I wish she'd stop asking those stupid questions and get to know me better. That fascist will never force me into a boarding home. I won't let her.


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