Succeeding and failing at the same time

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I was asked to be a moderator by two different forums. which of course was a huge boost to my self esteem. but I had to turn them down, because my autism and adhd would hinder me too much in doing the job right. plus my anxiety would get the better of me.

anyone else been offered a position someplace like school or work or wherever and had to turn it down because of your autism? Like you succeeded and failed at the same time?

Yes. But mostly it is my own fear and anxiety that make me turn some of the opportunities down.

Too often I am also too kind and make sure that others get their share rather than that I’d get mine.

For example in the university when I was a student, I was personally asked by a professor to become an assistant in a research project, but as another student, who knew I had interest in that particular area of research, said to me: I will apply for the assistant’s job. You aren’t applying, aren’t you?, I let the thing be. I thought that maybe I wouldn’t even be good enough and that the other student somehow reserved it more, although I was personally asked by the professor and knew that if I had only applied for it, the job would have been mine.

I am ofter asked to be staff of a forum, chat, a guild in a game etc. but I turn them down most of the time. It's not for me. I have fun just participating but I don't want to be responsible for others, it would destroy my fun because I would worry too much.

But I used to be the "2nd president" of my class a few times (even currently I am one, in the weekend school I'm attending - but fortunately I don't have to do much, I just stick to the "president" which is actually my friend so noone of us feel stupid on the school meetings) and even when I wasn't a "class staff member" I was usually the one to be send to the principal office to say what my class needs. It was uncomfortable for me but I wasn't doing if for myself but for them. They counted on me and I wanted to prove I am worth being liked so I had to do it - and surprisingly I was usually successful. Actually it wasn't that hard. I just had to say what my class needs and explain why it is needed. And I was stubborn so I was fighting till I got what I was supposed to or got convinced it is a bad idea. The principal was just like any other human for me so at least I wasn't experiencing the respect related stress other children did. No clue about social cues can be a good thing. I bet I was a pain on principal ass and an unaware weapon of my class. But the weapon was a double edged sword. When arguing I could share my class secrets, for example I remember my class got into a huge trouble when I slipped to the principal that my class is planning to escape from the last lesson if he won't set us free himself.

Personally, I think more people should be like you. I've been in plenty of situations where I've been flattered into accepting jobs which it's later turned out aren't suited. In reality, I've known this all along. The sensible thing would have been to be more like you. However, it's important I think not to ignore what people can obviously see in you in terms of potential and strong skills. Dont feel a failure - is there anything you can do as a half way house between the moderator job and where you are now? If it is down to the organisation stuff, maybe you can become an expert contributor?? Either way, don't feel a failure!

I've been asked to help tutor and inform and lead people before. I don't have the social skills needed to do those things.