Major Work Meltdown Got Me Fired

Post Reply New Topic

Well, today was crazy. This is going to be a long message.. I will try to break it up, but it really can't be explained briefly.

First of all, i should say that for the past couple weeks i've been on oxycodone for back pain while i'm at work(i'm getting surgery for it in 10 days, i was going to take a few months off for that). I have had meltdowns at work a few times, but hadn't had any for a long time until i started these pain meds, which seem to magnify how much i get irritated by things. I need them in order to be on my feet for that long, though. About a week ago, me and a coworker had an argument because she kept taking the new highlighters and locking them up in her cabinet where the rest of us couldn't get to them. When the managers got involved, i had a meltdown over it and did the regular things that happen when i have major meltdowns, like yelling at the people involved and hitting and biting myself. I also got a razor after i got away from them and gave myself a few minor cuts on my arm.

Now then, today... I was scheduled earlier than usual, but i was still in a great mood. The first two hours went by fine, i was the only one there and i helped customers and put up items without any issues. Then a coworker got there and i went on my fifteen minute break. While i was on my break, a manager told me to go straighten up in toys when i got finished. I told him that there was only one other person in electronics, and i should probably be there in case we get customers, but he didn't care and told me to do it anyway... This really bothered me, because i hadn't planned on spending my day in toys.. i like being in electronics and had, before this, been looking forward to the rest of the day. So, after i got back from break i checked with my coworker and before i went to toys he wanted me to go get some items from the back. So, i did. There was a lot, and customers kept stopping me, so i was back in electronics for awhile. That manager came over and told me i needed to go back to toys. Again, i restated that there should be more than one of us over there because there were customers AND things to put up. I also told him that the amount of walking in toys ends up being a lot more because i don't know where anything goes, and my back won't hold up well. He didn't care. So, i'm already getting pretty annoyed here.

So, i go over and straighten up in toys.. Tons of stuff is in the wrong place, and i don't know where to put most of it because i don't spend much time over there. I asked the manager how much time i'd have to be over there and he says "until it's done"(which is meaningless, since toys is always messed up. by the time you finish an aisle, someone has come behind you and messed it up again), so i ask him again if he can give me a timeframe so that i'll know what to expect for the rest of the day, and he still won't give me an answer. So... i'm the least organized person in the world, plus i'm over there all doped up on oxycodone, my back is starting to hurt anyway from the walking to try to find items that were put in the wrong place, and there's a small child around that won't stop squeaking loudly. I went over to this manager and explained clearly that IF I HAVE A MELTDOWN THIS WILL BE YOUR FAULT, NOT MINE. DON'T BLAME ME FOR WHATEVER I MIGHT DO. I'M GIVING YOU A WARNING HERE. He dismisses it with "yeah, ok."(sounds like agreeing to a verbal contract to me) I even explained further that most people don't take me seriously when i warn them that i can have meltdowns, but then they get all shocked when i actually have one, so i'm telling him that they cause me to lose a lot of control over my actions and i can hit things and hurt myself. Again he dismisses it and i start working again for a little bit. After my back starts hurting more, i go back to electronics because it's clear that he's not listening to me, and i've stopped caring about whatever he might say.

So... I'm over there in electronics for twenty minutes or so.. I'm still mad at this manager, but i'm calming down because i'm in my comfort zone there and the flow of customers is somewhat low. But then this manager comes over there and asks why i'm not in toys. I told him that my back was hurting and he wasn't listening so i came back to electronics(which does require walking, but not as much as searching for where a lot of toys go. it's more spread out). He said that it shouldn't make my back hurt more, and that all i have to do it straighten up the shelves and pull stuff forward. I told him that the stuff there is too scattered around to do that in most of the department, and that aside from the back issue i didn't feel like being over there then and i was needed in electronics(while i was over there, i had stuff to do. i wasn't standing around or anything) It should also be noted that i had months earlier gotten a stress fracture in my foot after being put over in toys. He says that i need to do what i'm told and all of that, so i have a little outburst and start hitting myself in the head. i told him that i warned him that i might have a meltdown. This makes him call me to the back "to talk"(which ALWAYS escalates things) and basically we say all of the stuff we've both already said. Then when i said that it's almost time for me to go to lunch anyway, he said that i need to go over to toys after i go back to lunch. I'm very frustrated now because he's being so uncooperative, so as i walk back out to the floor i kicked this metal cage back there. I have very little control over myself when i get this frustrated, like i had explained already.(this isn't even the worst part yet)

So, this is where the interesting part starts. I go back out there and start ringing someone up, even though i'm in tears and can barely talk. Then this manager comes out and calls me to the back again. As we go back there, he points to the metal cage and says that i damaged it(it was a dent.. i didn't realize afterward that i'd dented it... It was still perfectly functional though, and even with my limited knowledge of tools i could have made it look normal again with a hammer.) He takes me into the office with another manager and says that they are going to terminate me for damaging walmart property. Remember when i told him that if i had a meltdown, what i did was going to be his fault, not mine, and he didn't care and said "yeah, ok"? Well, apparently i'm still getting blamed, despite the fact that i had warned him and was trying to avoid it.

So, i run out of the office and go over to where they keep the razors. The managers are following me as i unwrap the razor and they're saying "what are you doing!?" and i cut into the top of my arm four times as they're yelling for me to stop. (Note: this is not a suicide attempt. my brain couldn't handle the information that i was fired. hurting myself seemed like the only way to get this out and communicate my feelings to any degree) It turns out that with all that frustration, i cut much deeper than i ever had before(which i've only ever done during extreme meltdowns anyway). Blood was dripping all over my arm and hands and they get me to sit down and make me stay there. I'm in there rambling about everything they've done that bothers me, because i'm in crazy mode and realized that what i say to them no longer matters since i am fired. I'm calling them idiots, giving them the finger, and all sorts of stuff. Before i know it, they have police officers there(SERIOUSLY) and paramedics.. I didn't even know they had called them.

I think it's stupid that they called police and paramedics because it was just a dent and i didn't really realize at the time how bad i'd cut myself. I just want them to all go away, so i refused to go with the medics into the ambulance. They did convince me to let them at least wrap up, though. They called my mom to come get me, and i'm here rambling on to all of them how i TOLD HIM that i was likely to have a meltdown and that i lose control when i have meltdowns, but that he wouldn't listen. I kept yelling that it was his fault for not listening to me and that they can't be this uncooperative to someone with a disability when i tried to get out of it by telling him what might happen. Mostly, they don't say anything as i keep rambling on about it, and the police officer said that no one twisted my arm and made me kick a dent in the thing so it's still my fault. This has made me instantly lose all respect for him, because i had said that when i have meltdowns i lose control of myself and will hit things. I even said that it's only a small dent and he says that it's a big dent. So, i go to the door and say "lets go look at it then." He says that i can't go anywhere(i'm pretty much being contained in this room..) and i argue with him. He tells me to sit down and i say no. And he tells me to again and gives me that "i'm a police officer" stuff, and i just said that i don't care. He said that he'd cuff me if i don't sit down so after doing this for a little while i sit down. Then i give him the finger, told everyone in the room that i hate them, and threw my bloody paper towel at the officer.

So, then my mom comes in and the officer talks to her. She's on my side in the issue, so she tried to explain that i have AS and get meltdowns, and that not everyone takes it as seriously as it is.. But, of course, no one really cares. He explained everything to her, and she was unhappy with the fact that i "disrespected an officer" but she's still on my side. The police officer escorted us out, as i was yelling to customers that walmart sucks and that they should all leave. Officer guy got this really serious face while pointing in the direction i should walk, which i found funny at the time, so i just pointed back at him and laughed. I went home, i explained everything to my parents in more detail, and pretty much cried myself to sleep because i no longer have a job, and i've worked there for almost three years.

Five to six hours later i wake up and mom tells me to take off the bandages so that she can see my cuts. Well, as soon as i took it off they started bleeding heavily again and it was obvious that they were kind of deep. We tried to hold the skin together with those butterfly things, but they weren't working well... I said that i'd be fine, but my mom insisted on getting it checked at the urgent care at the hospital. Turns out i needed stitches. 20 in all... 4 in two of them, 5 in one, and 7 in another. By this time i'd calmed down, and i actually like hospitals... So, this might be weird but i actually had fun watching them put the stitches in.

So, now my arm is all bandaged up, i need to pick up a prescription for antibiotics tomorrow, and i no longer have a job. I think i should talk to other managers there and explain how i told the manager what would happen and he wouldn't listen.. I might have some tiny chance of getting my job back since this is disability-related(and aggrevated by medication), but i doubt it after everything i did.

I th*t I was the only one.
God do I ever feel your pain, I think I do,
my story is different, but holy stools,
do I ever relate.

I try to tell people "this is how I am and this
is how I react" and what do they do?

If I had ten thousand dollars, you would be
a winner of that quiestions.

sorry i can't type worth a dang, and i cannot
be forced to correct typos or i will bang the kebord and
damage it.

I don't even have to mention my condition,
I just tried to tell peple that this is what
happens.

whilst I don't cut myself, I bash my head against
the wall and punch it as well when I malfunction,
similar? I don't know, but I do lose control and
I do kick things and throw things and sometimes
scream.

I know all too well about the "shocked" thing
when people do something to me that triggers
me, then get all "shocked" when they make me
react.

They DID cause you to kick the metal cage thing,
I know that feeling, THEY triggered it and would
not listen to you, it just happens, unfortunate,
but it is how we are built and the most we can
do is to do our dangdest to avoid the things that
trigger us but sometimes it is just not avoidable
and it will happen.

I don't remember how many mickey ds jobs I got
sacked from exactly but I sure had a buttload
of "w2" forms stacked up on the kitchen table.

I struggled with non-typematched jobs for a long
time before I ended up on disability, but I am a stubborn
boy and I kept fighting it, and I think I am still
fighting it today, I run a small almost inoperative
video editing business out of my home now, I even
sti here and edit video, to the point that I one
would think I am pretending to have a job but I
know in my mind that it is a real job if I say it is,
it is, I have a mac and software and hardware
that I edit video on, and sometimes family members
pay me a little money to do some dediting for them.

Even when it seems like I am "unemployed" I just
I don't know, I don't think of myself that way,
I have a job and I don't need another one, I am
already editing video so why bother with another
jon that would just impair me?

Zorry to rambababable.

I don't understand. Oxycodone makes me and many others mellow, happy, and super-agreeable. I've never heard of someone acting out-of-control like that because of a painkiller. I really don't think it's gonna fly if you say the meds had to do with your meltdown.

Opiates effects are dstill subjective.

Generally opiates are relaxing when doing nothing but some people are known to get irritated on vicodin and even oxy durinh social situations.

I remember one time I was taking vicodin for some pain and I got really annoyed by people around me who were talking.

Maybe it's an aspie thing cause we get affected different by opiates I dunno.

I don't see what else I could have done, except leave. But I can't just leave because it's called "job abandonment" and it can also get me fired, as I've been told before.. after the first meltdown I ever had there, where I DID remove myself from the situation...

And, yes, the oxy makes me very annoyed at everything when I'm out around people. I told an NT coworker about this and she agreed that they do that to some people, because she says that when shewas on in she started an argument at work.

And by the time there was "violence and injury", what I did no longer mattered because I was already fired. Before that all I had done was kick an inanimate object without intent of damaging it(although It turns out I did).

I suppose you're right. Personally, I turn into a major extrovert on a low dose of Oxies, but I only have aspie traits- not actual AS. We'll see what happens when I get the wisdom teeth pulled, I guess.
Still...I hope they don't try to press charges against you for the outburst. I'd have bolted the minute they told me I was fired. I've done it before. Much safer. Then when I get home, I can knock down all the chairs I want and scream as loud as I need to.

Unfortunately, in my experience, these kinds of low-level jobs require complete obedience to supervisors, or at least make it look like you're obeying.
Besides- plenty of people say things like "If (XYZ), I will not be responsible for my actions!". Heck, they might have thought you were trying to be funny. Just a theory as to why they might have dismissed you. That line tends to be taken as hyperbole. It's like saying "I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse!" Nobody thinks you'll actually eat a horse. Same thing with your meltdown, I'm afraid. But alas, there's only roughly 1 in 150 born on the spectrum, so people will likely never know how serious such a warning really is. And obviously, they will be shocked at an actual meltdown. It's not something one sees everyday.

Had this happen to me, but the meltdown was for different reasons that built up over 2 years, mainly because my coworkers never did their work, would always takes breaks 4x as long as would be allowed, and would call off constantly because of hangovers and parties. And I simply got fed upo with having to do everone elses work load as well as mine. management knew about it all and didnt do a damn thing.

that sounds like a terrible situation. i understand that your employer did not heed your warnings and he definitely should have listened.

it is your own responsibility to keep yourself under control, and if you cannot do so, the employer may not want to keep you employed there. in that incident you became a danger to yourself and to the people around you. those people had absolutely no way of knowing how violent you were going to become, either to yourself, to them, or to the property. essentially, you scared them.

when presented with the choice of abandoning your job or having a meltdown that could result in violence, the better choice for all people involved is to abandon the job. if that job is too stressful, or if you don't get along with your boss, a different job may be more suitable anyways.

I agree that the manager should have handled things differently, although in my experinence retail managers aren't terrribly bright...

But, I have to agree with the others that you need to take responsibility for your actions. No one really MADE you hit yourself, kick the metal box and cut yourself with a razor. They are all actions that you chose to do. I also imagine that swearing at people, yelling at customers, etc didn't help your situation. Perhaps you should learn from this experience so that if a similar situation occurs in the future you can act more appropriately. If you do become violent beyond your control then you need help because it wouldn't be safe for you to be around people.

you probably could have handled it better towards the end...but hey, wal-mart does suck. Maybe you cut deeper than normal because of the oxycodone...reduces feeling. I can relate alot, though I tend to get mega silent or say very few loud things if I melt down. After seeing cuts/injuries i might have on my body from meltdowns I get embarrassed. When you are in crazy mode as you put it though, we all do some strange things- I know I do. I probably would have put more dents in the metal things, but that would have made it worse.

My advice for meltdowns in the future is remove yourself from those around you...I have to go where nobody is..and go crazy there...try as hard as you can to get away before you explode. Though NT"s tend to follow the "crazy" person to see what is he going to do...

Consider it a favor they did for you, onward to better things. You will find a better job eventually, one that you enjoy alot more.

Actually, I agree. You shouldn't be depressed that you left a sh***y job with stupid management that wouldn't listen to you. I really hope there is no more fall out from this, but in the mean time just take time to regroup, and thank your lucky stars that you're out of that dump. I don't know how long it will take you to get another job in the current economic climate, but I would almost say that having no job is better than working for a bunch of idiots.

Geez. Not surprised at how WalMart handled things, but you'd think their recent trouble with the EEOC over hiring the disabled they would have more know how in how to handle someone they know has AS.