Can't connect and identify.

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I've been realizing lately that, in terms of my focus, I identify with some textbook presentations of Asperger's, but not a lot of people with ASD I actually meet in real life. I don't identify much with NTs, either. Here is why and I'm not really sure what to do about this. I really want to be able to connect with more people, but there is a huge interest divide between me and other Aspies, especially girls.

I am highly systematic. My mind constantly "collects" things in the environment and I group things into logical categories that I don't have any emotional disposition toward. I only really find myself interested in watching things like the Discovery Channel when they talk about how things work. I am not really drawn toward film, video games, visual art, fiction, etc.; the only artistic thing I do regularly is listening to music, but in a highly repetitive and narrow manner. I am not really inclined to talk about it. I also like fashion but it's also more of a repetitive thing for me (i.e. I like watching people and seeing how many people are following the recent trend, how many last year's, etc. in each item of clothing). It seems like everything I do involves mental categorization or classification of some sort. Even the latter I mostly only do when I'm stressed; the more healthy I feel mentally, the more I want to "systematize".

Almost all people on the spectrum are intensely into at least one of these art-related things. I have very little imagination and attention for any of the above, so I've never memorized lines or enjoyed enacting things from books, movies, TV shows, etc. I know a lot of facts, though, and love regurgitating them. I am not interested in anything that requires even a small amount of creativity/imagination/emotional reactivity, however. Strangely, I don't meet many people on the spectrum in person who are like this and I'm not really sure why I'm so different. I really feel like an alien and would like to see if you have any feedback on this.

I believe you are interested in Autism, which is important in and of itself. As you can see, there are plenty of people in this site who just love to talk about it. You fit in quite nicely here (even though it is an internet forum LOL). You have made lots of contributions to the discussions here. I believe, once you get deeper into ABA, that you will more than hold your own among your fellow students, especially if they're taking ABA to assist people with autism. They're certainly not in it for the money! You could provide another vantage point, since you are on the Spectrum. So what if you like to systematize? I rather like doing that myself.

Perhaps you could be the one who makes ABA more humane.

I would be able to offer more insight if I actually knew you in person. As long as you're a nice person, listen to others' opinions, and don't get offended easily, I could relate to you very well. I believe you are making a good effort to improve yourself.

sorry for stating something obvious but keep remembering the old line-every autist is different and that goes for interests as well,its normal to feel disconnection on the spectrum some of us are only hanging on to outer reality by a thin thread.

LOL...I still you're prettier than your icon

I am a female with self diagnosed AS and I can relate to what you are saying. I have pretty much given up the idea of meeting anyone who thinks like me and I can connect to, so I do know how you are feeling.

Here is a list of the ways I compulsively systemize
1. Linking individual components to the overall structure. In an ideal world, there would be a clear and defined relation between each part and the larger structure. My fixation is in seeing this link. In novels and films, this is a hopeless task as the plot is usually linear, with the meaning behind the story being revealed only at the end. So the individual elements of the story seem like a crazy mess to me, as I can't tie them down to any kind of framework.
I am terrible at understanding the plots of films and novels, and find them boring because I cannot see the point right away. I have a similar problem when listening to most people explain things.
2. Finding the optimum configuration. There is usually an optimum way of configuring things or doing things based on a given purpose. So for example, I don't mind that apples arranged at the bottom of a tree are disordered, because they could be ordered in any way and it would have no effect on any outcome. But when a system is clearly for some sort of purpose I cannot abide it having a less than optimum configuration. One example could be "small talk". This is a system "designed" for the purpose of people breaking the ice with other people. in my view it is horribly inefficient, psychologically speaking there are much better ways it could be achieved, and yet people stick with this old system anyway. This is one of the (many) reasons I hate small talk.
3. Seeing logical (in)consistancy All the parts that make up the whole should be logically consistent with each other. This is a problem not so much in that things I encounter tend to be illogical, but the way in which things are expressed mean there are logical gaps and I can not see whether things are logically consistent or not.
For example: If someone says A: "Trees grow in forests" and B: "Trees have leaves" and they ask C: "Are there leaves in forests?". I would answer "I don't know", because they haven't explicitly stated that all forests must have trees. Whereas a lot of people would just say "Of course there are!". That's a lame example but its an example of how I think in a very logical manner and I don't often understand things if they aren't said very logically.
4. Observing patterns, analysing patterns and forming rules based on those patterns. One example being Newton observing falling objects and formulating a very simple equation to describe the behaviour of all objects under gravity. There is something exquisitely satisfying about this. This is what I love doing; finding order and rules which are not immediately apparent.

I really want to know, though, how normal it is not to interested in "artistic" things. I am afraid that people will think I'm crazy if I admit this to them. I often feigned a slight interest in the above things in the past. I'm kind of tired of "faking it". Everyone seems to be at least into one of these things, so I feel like there's something wrong with me.

Edit: ah i got a thread response right as I posted! I'll read it now

I am not into any of the art stuff, at all. I don't get it, really and it annoys me. And I'm not into anything that involves imagination etc, i don't tell stories and make stuff up. I love facts about the real things, discovery channel 24/7

I'm not sure I understand what you mean. Looks like you're quite into fashion, which is art, right? I mean, at least visually

I am a male, but I can relate quite well with what MathGirl is saying. I have no artistic "sense". I have tried to get interested in art, music, pop culture, etc., but I could never feel any connection to any of those. I like to read and collect facts, but mainly science related ones.

I totally suck at making any form of art, but I could spend the whole weekend in the Art Institute of Chicago - like how they let people camp over at the other museums. I could stare at Mark Chagall's stain glass work for easily an hour. I liked where it used to be displayed, you would wind your way thru a collection of medieval armor to have your breath taken away by the sunlight lighting it up.

I pissed my wife once when I wouldn't leave a bridge over a stream at the prairie at the Morton Arboretum on a gorgeous day. I was enthralled watching the water bugs and little fishies swimming around. It wasn't too hot, wasn't too cold. What's the point of just getting there, a few looks, then leave? I want to take it all in.

That's the sucky thing about having kids, you go to these places, but you can't ever stay at one place too long. I spent an hour at the Brookfield zoo once waiting for the kiwi to come out, and I was rewarded.

You shouldn't be too worried if you don't connect with Aspies offline. I've known lots of diagnosed Aspies offline and, while I could see that they weren't NTs, we also all had different personalities and interests.