Urge to inform

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Hello,

This is my first post here, I'll do a proper introduction in the new members section in a bit (briefly, I am a 36 year old guy living in the UK. I am self-diagnosed (of sorts) and live on my own), but I wanted to ask a question here also...

I consider myself fairly well adjusted, in that I can use eye contact and converse with other people (as much as it completely exhausts me) and can engage in chit-chat within certain acquired boundaries. I like a quiet life and I learned a long time ago that I get left alone more if I engage with others. Several peers at work (I work in the NHS) have indicated that "I'm definitely on the spectrum somewhere", but that's ok. I'm digressing already!

Whilst I don't care to impress other people, I do tend to have overwhelming urges to inform. For example, if I find out a celebrity died, I immediately have to go and tell anyone I see. I suppose it's akin to gossiping but I don't care about the usual sort of gossip (X went and slept with Y last night, OMG!).

I will also answer for other people, which tends to get people's backs up apparently.

Anne "Bob, is it going to rain later?"
Me "Yes there'll be hail and lightning and everything. Don't forget your umbrella!"
Bob "Umm, I said that without even moving my lips."

Does anyone else have this urge to impart new information like this?

Last edited by ashkent on 22 May 2014, 2:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yeah, I used to be like this, ALOT!! ! The first step, acknowledgement (that you're doing something wrong), is the first step to "recovery" (stopping the behavior). You just gotta concentrate, REAL HARD, on keeping your mouth shut----especially, when you're not being addressed. Engage your brain BEFORE you engage your mouth. It really, Really----REALLY-----takes practice----and, it'll be EXHAUSTING, initially----but, it'll SOOOO be worth it in the end-----if, for no other reason, than because it'll be one LESS way you'll be alienating people. Good Luck!! !

Absolutely. In fact, I've had people I know come up to me and go "Hey, we've been struggling with this for a while. What year did the Cuban Missle Crisis happen?" and I repeat all sorts of information about it. Or a buddy will ask me "You see the new Spider-Man movie yet?" and I'll tell him all about comic issue 121 and how it's supposed to impact the movie or that Sony's commissioned two sequels and two spin offs. There's even times where two people are talking about something and I randomly interject to tell them a detailed report on their discussion (later feeling awkward when they give me dirty looks).

I've always loved learning new information and sharing it with people, though it's gotten me in trouble quite a bit.

^this--though with me it's music and movies instead of comics, but ditto on the obscure factoids/historical references and such. some few people dig it and find it handy. other people...not so much.

Yeah it the same for me. Sometimes I wonder if I do it to be part of the conversation as I'm better at remembering this stuff than just having a random conversation that goes nowhere. I have started to notice that I can irritate people when I leap in and say what I know about them when someone else is asking questions to them, so I'm trying to learn to hold back on this and find other avenues of conversations

Perhaps, I like to offer too much information on certain topics to people.

dad is a pension age classic aspie [informaly diagnosed by specialists of mine],and he is the biggest gossip in the world,anything that happens to self or anything in general [his obsessive chatter is about the weather-he can spend a whole evening going on about the weather to anyone who will listen] gets told to half of ireland-he cant help himself.

Yep, me too, Can't help it. Often as soon as I've realised that I've inserted myself into someone else's conversation without invitation I suddenly get all nervous and feel the need to justify myself by giving even more info. A vicious circle indeed but it get's better / easier to control with age.

I do this constantly!

I find it funny that one of the symptoms of autism is lack of sharing things with people. I've never understood what that could possibly mean.

Yes. I do this. A lot. And over share. Innapropriately on occasion. If someone asks me something... I spit out EVERYTHING I know on the topic. I talk about my children ad naseum. It's annoying and I know it. I'm working really hard on improving this... but the urge to impart the info... its so strong. It's weirdly almost like an addiction. I used to smoke and honestly the feeling of "needing a smoke" and "needing to go yadda yadda FACTS" is pretty similar...

If someone asks something to someone else, yes, I will often interrupt if I know that answer.

And as my husband said "you don't bore me, but you have the power to bore people with your bird stuff"

Yes, definitely. My mom even moreso. She definitely doesn't fit the "Aspies don't like gossip" thing, although it's never malicious gossip unless the person did something really nasty like abused their children or attacked someone for accidentally bumping into them.

What do you mean that you're left alone more if you engage with others? I'm always open to any advice on how to be left alone more. I suppose I could force myself to engage more if it meant less socializing in the long run...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnxXkjD6VmE[/youtube]

NT's try to be inclusive. If you just sit there in the corner, they come and nag you. Come on, join in, its fun!

I find that by throwing them a bone every now and then by participating, then during the times when you REALLY do need to be left alone it's easier for them to accept. It's easier to be invisible if you hide yourself IN the crowd rather than to stand apart from it.

It's easier said than done, I know. I've learned to be good at socialising to the extent that I can be part of a social group, but that's taken many years of practice. I'm not as overwhelmed by it all as I used to be, and as long as I know I have an escape route planned that I can take if I need to, I can put up with more.

I have zero friends. If I socialise, it is with people I work with; birthdays, leaving parties, etc. It's all about control. Even if you show up to an event for half an hour, stay for one drink and then go home because that's all you can take before becoming overloaded, that's usually good enough for the NTs.

I also like baking, so taking treats into work is often a winner. There are ways to social inclusion without getting too involved. You just need to figure out what they are in the context of your own life and surroundings. A puzzle of sorts.

I remember how my university campus, there was no smoking alowed. I actually thought this was stupid and that it interfered with people's personal freedom. I remeber how I saw this girl smoking one time and I reminded her of this (out of kindness) because I truelly didn't want her to get a ticket. Obviously she just thought I was just another anti smoking nazi being a jerk.
But yeah. This urge to inform us rediculous. I've seriously cut down on this in my old age.

I do something similar as well. If I overhear a conversation even between strangers and I know some facts about it I have this uncontrollable urge to tell them what I know.