meaning in the eyes

Post Reply New Topic

i was sitting around a table at bcm (baptist collegiate ministry) and there was a girl across from me that i didn't know, the girlfriend of a guy that i did know. she and i were the only girls at the table with about 5 guys. well, i didn't say much to anyone bc i am not good in talking in groups, but i don't think i was too awkward. at some point though, me and the other girl made eye contact. thing was, it seemed to be a significant look, some meaning behind it. only i couldn't understand what it was we were communicating through the eye contact. and when i said something about what i thought it meant (such as "ya, i think such and such is too") she gave me a confused look like she had no idea what i was talking about. happened again later that night, though i didn't try to figure it out that time. so, does anyone else have trouble figuring out what the "hidden messages" behind eye contact is? how do you figure it out?

i never have figured it out. and i no longer even try.

of course, this causes little problems when people trying to get a little message to me while in a group(i always hear about it later). nothing major or even important though.

i've lived 41 years without the skill.

I think I guessed two sets of eyes right out of like 21 or something on a test. You had to guess what message they were conveying. I failed miserably. I kept staring at them and trying to figure it out. I have no idea.

I have a habit of believing every look anyone gives me must be negative, lol. To be honest, I dont even try adn read eyes as to do that, Id have to look at them for a long time.

Until I learned about AS, I never even realized I had a problem at making eye contact. Just recently I have been playing basketball at a facility I haven't been to as a kid, and it's the same guy working there that always was when I was a kid (at least 10 years ago), yet when I look back on this period of my life I find I don't even really remember any specific events being there.

But anyhow, now that I realize that this has always been a problem for me, I am practicing making eye contact people and I am getting better with it. However, I do find sometimes it can be "scary" to look into somebody's eyes, I don't know how to explain it, I just feel uneasy.

I don't bother trying to figure out the meaning of the eyes. I know that not everybody that looks at me is being negative, it's just difficult for some reason to push that idea out of my head. I would suggest that you don't bother guessing, cause maybe you'll be right, but more often than not you'll make a situation more awkward by taking an incorrect stab. Just my thoughts...

It could have been 'The Essential Difference' test (made by the same guy who made the empathizing and systemizing test). I got a 34/36 on that, which is above average. I think when someone of the same sex makes eye contact with you, you probably interest them and they're sizing you up.

I got normal on the eyes test, which was put together by Simon Baron Cohen, whose team I am hoping to be assessed by. I had a thread on another forum about how so many, even diagnosed aspies, managed to score normal or above on that eyes test. Somewhat invalidates it, I believe. I got only 5 on empathy, but 95 on SQ and 48/50 on the AQ, so just the eyes test scored 'normal' on. I did poorly on facial recognition tests, though.

You did better than I did. I got 0 on Empathy, but that's not surprising since I score 0 on Feeler in Meyer's Briggs.

I pretty much bombed on facial recognition as well. Forget all of that stuff. 23 years in Corporate America and 12 as a manager and can't read a face or eyes. That's why they tell me they never think I'm normal, they just like me anyway. I probably look bizarre to them when I'm trying to do eye contact.

Okay Maldoror. Don't weird me out anymore than I already am. Do you want me to revert to screaming and crying when people touch me? It isn't pretty. You just have to trust me on this one. I'm not doing a video to demonstrate. LOL

No, I mean nonsexually. Like animals are interested when you bring another animal into the house. Anyway, it's one of those things no one seems to know, or maybe only odd people like us experience it.

That makes sense maldoror.

I try to figure out what the messages are, but I try not to assume or act on what I see if it has the potential to be horribly wrong.

Well 5 is pretty impressive for me as I used to consider myself a very emotional, sensitive person I used to be most angry if my ex got lower feelings scores than me in the Myers Briggs, lol, it became like a competition. I always took the low feeling score to mean he had no emotions at all and that made me angry. Even though I had and have such major issues with emotion myself,it is odd as I always needed signs of emotion from others.

7 on the EQ
69 on the SQ
5 on the Eyes test.

And I'm female.

(hmmm) I've not been good with this from the time I was a small child even today I'm not good at is. Yes, I may have to wear glasses but, this is not the reason for me not being able to read the emotional content within another's eyes unless it happens to be anger. Nowadays, If I feel I'm not able to decipher the emotional code through another's eyes I'll sincerely do my best to politely ask what someone is thinking even if such makes me appear stupid for, I could care less as, I would rather know than not know.


Professor X

As much as I try to understand what people are feeling, or what they're trying to "say" with their eyes, I always get it wrong. I can never figure it out.

I'll give you credit jnet, for trying in the first place. I think you're more brave than I am.