To retreat or not to retreat (into my own head)

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Yesterday I was in the grocery store with my S.O. We had finished running through our shopping list and were heading past the checkout lanes. The store was very busy and while I was fine while we were in the aisles and I had the list to keep me occupied, as soon as we got to the front of the store, I went into a kind of mental shut down. I didn't even realize I was doing it until she asked me if I was okay. The best way to describe it is I disappeared into my own head and lost contact with the world. I could follow her, but she says I had a glazed expression and was non-responsive.

I struggle with social anxiety and that external behavior often indicates a brewing panic attack, so she was concerned. However, I did not feel anxious at all. I didn't really feel anything. I think this is because my SSRI is working for the anxiety, which is good. But I think the anxiety has been masking this shut down behavior.

My S.O. thinks that shutting down is not an effective response to overwhelming stimuli and I should look for a way to avoid it or redirect it. I think that this is a self-defense behavior, blocking out the stimuli that are causing me distress, and I'm probably better off retreating into my head than dealing with the noise and crowds and either having a meltdown or just suffering. On one hand, I know I often go with the status quo even if it is harmful, so maybe my initial favorable opinion of the shut down is because of that. But I also think my S.O. is approaching this from my history of social anxiety and the techniques I use to handle that. But this was completely different from the anxiety, and seemed to be purely a reaction to sensory overload. I don't know if I am even capable of reacting differently.

The question is, is this harmful behavior? If so, does anyone have any methods to deal with the sensory overload without going into zombie mode? Or is zombie mode a natural self-defense mechanism and just seems concerning from an NT point of view?

It's harmful if you can't respond in an emergency--such as during a car accident. Otherwise, in the grocery store, I don't see that it is harmful. Your wife could still communicate with you, right? You could "snap out of it" if an emergency arises?

I would try and avoid the situation all together or go at quieter times. I don't know if that helps, it's not always the same for me sometimes I can handle it sometimes I can't depending on the pressures I have to handle at the time. Sometimes I come over all white and I can feel dizzy light headed and feel like I could faint. That's when extreme anxiety comes on. I tend to be in my own world anyway sometimes but rarely when I am really stressed and anxious I will start sweating and it's like my senses come alive, lights can pulsate, shadows can vibrate, the room can vibrate, sounds are louder more annoying. My body starts buzzing. I think being in my own world can protect me from going into that state, and try to be in a positive headspace, call it selfish but that's how I handle it. If I can't handle something I will try and take it slower next time. I don't know if this is the same as a shut down, meltdown. Overwhelmed But that's my theory anyway. All I know is that anxiety is distracting and in order to get out of that state I usually resort to my home alone, to my bed or to sleep so I can restore my body

It's hard for me to stay outwardly focused 24/7, but most people would never encourage otherwise because it falls outside a realm of "normal" behavior. A comparison would be keeping a muscle tensed all the time, and sometimes I have to relax it and zone out a bit.