Overracting or having a normal reaction

Post Reply New Topic

I feel that some people tend to blame us (aspies) for "always" overreacting but we sometimes we are just having normal reactions to really BAD situations. NT's sometimes do overact at times as well but they don't get excused of overacting.

I feel that some people tend to blame aspies for overreacting but I believe we as aspies have a right to react to some extreme situations.

As for myself, I am tired of my family saying I am always "overacting" but I feel I have a right to be upset about certain situations in my life such as being upset about being stuck living at home with my abusive dad and being unable to obtain a job and move out.

I am always accused of overreacting, and I feel that I am reacting the exact way that I should to the situation. It is also pointed out that I under-react to some things. I don't tell them how to react to stuff....

I am often accused of 'overreacting' or 'making mountains out of mole-hills', but it always begs the question; 'just what is the 'appropriate' reaction for any given situation? and if people can 'overreact', surely it logically follows they can also 'underreact', so just where does the fulcrum of that see-saw lay?'

I ask people this question, and they are like>>>>

How my mind processes this, is that other people judge the reactions of others based on the way they would react in the same situation if 'they were that person'.

Other people try to place themselves in the shoes of others before even beginning the first step on that 'mile-long journey' in them.

They don't know any other word to use to express the feeling of; 'well, that's not what I would do given that situation', so the closest available term that the limited human intellect can understand, is 'overreacting'.

Me too. I get accused of both and it can get very confusing. But it seems like if tell someone that they are either over or under reacting, somehow I am still the one who is wrong. Go figure.

Great thread. I'm currently wondering whether I was overreacting or misinterpreting why someone would always tell me to think of others. I immediately thought they were accusing me of being selfish but was there another reason?

I may also be obsessing over this now.

But more common to the original idea of this thread is that when little changes happen around me they sort of provoke my anxiety and I get angry very very angry. I begin yelling things and throwing a bunch of stuff around. I guess they're meltdowns really.

People do act like I'm making a fuss over nothing and they tell me to calm down which of course just makes me worse.

Is that what you mean? That we react the way we do because of how we view certain situations (like my anxiety over small changes)? I also agree that NTs can overreact too, especially over things that hardly matter to us. I suppose people make a big deal over the way I say things and get insulted and all that. It's just very difficult to always make my words come out in a less offensive way. I still take my time to say things to not offend people, but I still end up doing that.

I "overreact" when I am promised something or I feel it as a promise and then when it doesn't happen I get really disappointed. Because I dreamed about it happening. I visualized it and it brings me great pleasure. So when it doesn't happen, I get I wouldn't say upset...but I react to it.

I'm not talking about having "meltdowns" because of sensory issues or discomforts, I'm talking serious issues such unemployment, concerns about job security or abuse. I'm tired of being accused of "overacting" to real problems just because I'm an aspie.

I get told a lot that "everyone is under paid" and "everyone hates their job." That doesn't mean it should be acceptable because 'everyone is feeling that way.' If everyone raped women does that make it right because it would be a social norm, No!

My point is that aspies have a reputation for overacting but sometimes we are actually having a normal reaction that is interrupted as 'overacting.' Also some people underact to extreme situations such as abuse and poverty. Just because it has become a social 'norm' doesn't make it right.

This describes me so well. It can get confusing. What is a normal reaction if I'm always over/under-reacting? It's always, "Ahhh, you're being too sensitive" or "damn, why are you so rude?"

I have been having this argument recently with some of the people on the chatbox. Because I have been frustrated looking for a job.

Oh, in that case, no. I'm surrounded by people who are passionate about fighting for social-environmental changes. Sometimes I feel bad about not caring as much unless it affects me. I used to feel very passionately about those issues but I just don't know what happened to me. I really wanted to change things but I guess I just felt helpless, overwhelmed and gave up. Obviously, unemployment and job security are very important things.

I suppose it depends on who you know. If you're well off and not a victim for most budget cuts then you might think people are whinging about unemployment, pension cuts, and everything else our current government is doing to screw us over.

I've never really had people hush up my more political concerns like protecting native land from nuclear waste, as being an overreaction due to my autism/AS. I guess I wasn't diagnosed back then.

I really feel uncomfortable around racist and rape jokes. That is the norm in certain groups and I won't stand for it. And people might think I'm ruining their fun. Actually, I hate when people bring up Darwinism when talking about if someone makes a stupid mistake and dies, or something like that. It makes me think they're on the side of eugenics. I try to hold my tongue but I really just want to tell them my thoughts. It would seem like an overreaction to them but there are people out there that think you can breed out a certain type of people.

In your case though I think your family might just not care about those issues, which is wrong, yes. I'd much rather know people who are passionate about those issues and I hope one day I can't be just as passionate again.

I'm sorry if you though I was making jokes or joking about rape, I wasn't. I was trying to make a point.

I feel frustrated because I'm misunderstood all the time, even by other aspies.

As far as my family, they care about my issues of being poor but they just feel that because it's a social norm it's acceptable, but it's not. I have become a burden to my family, and they are burned out because I am having meltdowns about money all the time. I'm not greedy but I have genuine concerns about living with next to nothing. I also have a daughter and I am also struggling to support her which makes me feel even worse about being poor.

I'm just tired of being a burden and I'm also tired of struggling every single day. Being an aspie has only made my situation worse because no one likes being around a person having meltdowns all the time because I'm broke. It's vicious circle that I'm stuck in.

I have been listening to accusations about overreacting so much, that I have learned to underreact instead, striffen up and not knowing what to say. That is an over-adaptation instead and it takes its toll with time.

I have been listening to accusations about overreacting so much, that I have learned to underreact instead, striffen up and not knowing what to say. That is an over-adaptation instead and it takes its toll with time. I actually feel ashamed to react at all, when others, even a therapist, is present. That is a problem now, and I´m actually rather sad about it.
I suppose, I had good training growing up with an over-reacting borderline mother. (Don´t rock the boat!)