It is possible to get more connected?

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Now that I am fully aware of the symptoms of AS I realize just how disconnected I am from other people (compared to NTs).

Is it somehow possible to get more connected?


What I know is that the basic indicator that you are connected is that what means the most to you is group acceptance, and therefore social status. These things just do not mean very much to me - unless I like those people. But the desire should be less conditional.

Independence, on the other hand, means everything to me.

Is it possible to fake this better?


I do not mind being disconnected really, but it causes social problems at work and with relationships.

it is possible to learn to form and sustain relationships of the kind that are helpful at work.

But not to actually connect. That doesn't happen.

You can indicate that you are a friend and ally with various gestures and acknowledge the reciprocation of those things.

Thats about as far as it goes.

Can you please clarify your question? Are you looking to get more connected, or are you asking us if it's acceptable to be disconnected, which is what you say at the end of the post you are okay with?

Unfortunately, I believe you are correct. It seems as though our minds naturally "operate" at a different level of abstraction than normal people. Making connecting quite difficult.

I think you can go through the motions to the point where other people will feel connected to you. But eventually they will figure out it is only going one way. And when they realize that, they will get pissed off and turn on you. And they will probably turn on you behind your back so you don't even know what is going on at first. Which is way worse than not having any connection with them in the first place. In fact this scenario may have already happened to you.

I think it depends, everyone is different, and it depends what you mean by "connected". If you mean in "total symbiosis", I have no idea. If you mean someone you might get attached to, someone whom you would want to be present in your life, I think it is possible. So briefly, I think it is possible that one day you find someone with whom you will feel a connection, someone you would like to live with. Which doesn't mean that you will want to be with them day and night tho (or at least I sure don't lol it would bug the heck out of me, I need lot of alone time, and to do my own thing). But like I said, I think it depends on each person.