An obligation??

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For those of us who are Aspies, do you sometimes sense a need to be a bit protective of those who have other forms of autism, our kin, that is for those who might be 'lower-functioning' (sorry for the term, but you know what I mean)? Make no mistake, I've had a rough go and I sure know plenty of Aspies who have as well! I'm sure not discounting our own struggles. But yet I have much to be grateful for. AS can be a gift, albeit a bittersweet gift. Instead, what I mean is that I acknowledge that those with classic autism can be seriously disabled. Just now on the Wrong Planet, another thoughtful member posted information about a program (& many thanks for sharing this): http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt260662.html

At times I see those with classic autism suffering with no or little support, even incurring mistreatment and abuse. I've encountered "well meaning" professionals (and those who are NOT well meaning!) who make real mistakes in understanding autism, even offering misguided advice and treatment. So, do you feel protective for those who are less able than yourself? Or for children on the spectrum who are needlessly hurt? I guess I see that we DO have an insight into autism that others cannot, and maybe even have an obligation to help our kin. I might have a sense of recognition, even a sort-of genetic link, when I encounter, for example, a clearly autistic child being punished for screaming and crying in sensory fright at the grocery. Do you?

As somebody who considers himself pretty functional as these things go, I can relate there. Before I even suspected what was up with me I always had a certain amount of, for lack of a better term, instinctive fellowship with other odd types. As I've grown and developed socially, there's been an added element of supportive sympathy for those struggling with what I do, have in the past, or have been fortunate enough to never have to. It's the unvoiced thoughts of "come on, you've got this," "if they only understood," or "this society/system/school/etc. is awful". That empathy can be a solid foot in the door that allows us to see further beyond ourselves. It can start with similar types, then branches form and it's easier to grasp the plights of all kinds of humans. What's tough is seeing these situations and not being in a position to tell a parent/teacher/etc that they're doing it wrong. They're having a difficult time of it too, but for different reasons. Further, those of us on the spectrum are for that very reason less likely to reach out to a stranger and say "Hey, I get it. You can do this." On that note, I'm happy to have found you all.

I don't feel protective because people are lower functioning but I do feel loyal and protective to all on the Spectrum and to those with other disabilities as well.

Welcome to WP Filee,. It is very good to have you here.

I definitely feel protective of children on the spectrum, and to a certain extent lower functioning people too. However, there are some LFAs who are quite capable of advocating for themselves, and I'd rather support them than try to protect them.

I can really relate to this.

Maybe this is why before I knew this is what I probably have, why I had a visceral reaction to people trying to force a child to make eye contact or to speak in a situation that wasn't conducive to speech and why I have always thought it was stupid to throw a kid into social situations and expect them to magically learn how to be and to deprive them of their "tribe" in the hopes that they will learn to "live" in society. Probably because speech has been demanded of me in times when I cannot manage it and because I used to feel so exposed by making eye contact that to force these things on an already overwhelmed person is closely akin to rape. I have also always had a good sense for whether or not a quiet person was lonely or not and knew that just because someone didn't speak or wasn't able to initiate a conversation didn't mean they didn't desperately want or need a friend. I used to think I was lacking in empathy but really like most people I have the most usable empathy for those like me and unfortunately those like me are just fewer in number. I do have trouble drawing up the emotions at the right times and doing and saying the right things at the right times though but I recognize that now as not having the prebuilt relationship with a person to be able to approach them. So often in life I have watched someone suffer yet not have the ability to approach them or to react appropriately and it is miserable. Anyway, getting off topic. I hope I will eventually develop the nerve or ability to speak up. I feel a lot of guilt for not responding to things and for not figuring out a way to do so.

I can really relate to this.

Maybe this is why before I knew this is what I probably have, why I had a visceral reaction to people trying to force a child to make eye contact or to speak in a situation that wasn't conducive to speech and why I have always thought it was stupid to throw a kid into social situations and expect them to magically learn how to be and to deprive them of their "tribe" in the hopes that they will learn to "live" in society. Probably because speech has been demanded of me in times when I cannot manage it and because I used to feel so exposed by making eye contact that to force these things on an already overwhelmed person is closely akin to rape. I have also always had a good sense for whether or not a quiet person was lonely or not and knew that just because someone didn't speak or wasn't able to initiate a conversation didn't mean they didn't desperately want or need a friend. I used to think I was lacking in empathy but really like most people I have the most usable empathy for those like me and unfortunately those like me are just fewer in number. I do have trouble drawing up the emotions at the right times and doing and saying the right things at the right times though but I recognize that now as not having the prebuilt relationship with a person to be able to approach them. So often in life I have watched someone suffer yet not have the ability to approach them or to react appropriately and it is miserable. Anyway, getting off topic. I hope I will eventually develop the nerve or ability to speak up. I feel a lot of guilt for not responding to things and for not figuring out a way to do so.