Does things get harder as time goes by?

Post Reply New Topic

I'm writing this because it seems that, to me, the autistic traits are getting worse as time advance and i don't know why.
A lot of times i read here that "aspies can learn how to socialize" or "when time passes we will eventually adapt" and stuff like that but that's definitely not my case.
That can be true about some traits like the fact that i don't offend people too often and i don't talk about my interests with anyone like if i can't control myself (as far as i know lol).
But i remember that when i was younger i used to at least try to have some social contact even if i couldn't keep it for too long because of my weirdness.
Now, i avoid it at all costs and i'm also pretty sure that when i'm forced to participate on anything that involve different people i get way more anxious than before.
Right now i'm here, trying to have the courage to go on a camp that some guys of a church that i go sometimes invited me to, but when i start to think that it will be 3 days away from home, doing only "not programmed by me" stuff and with nowhere to run if i start to panic it just seems impossible to me to even try. And the worst is, for some reason, i don't think that this should be such a hard decision to take.
Does anyone else feel the same way about things getting worse as time goes by?

My guess is that the "camp" has something to do with religion, right? I could see why you're anxious. These kind of things tend to be conformist in nature.

There's a fellow Brazilian in this site, by the name of Linatet. She frequently posts, and she's about your age. She's a very smart, logical person.

I think you have to go, though. These kind of gatherings keep you connected to other people. Can't you go off into the forest whenever you feel overwhelmed?

I wish you had a World Cup ticket--that would be a good excuse not to go! LOL

Probably somewhere in my top thousand things I would have done differently when I was younger if I did it over again. That would be keeping one eye open to notice if there was anyone else as weird as me. I was too withdrawn and was not even aware that others like me might exist. I would think that there might be a decent chance of this as there could be other Autistic young people whose parents sent them to the camp in order for them to learn social skills [these parents mean well. I promise]

If not, try To enjoy the beauty of nature and keep reminding yourself that in only a week this will only be a memory.

fresh bread gets harder as time goes by (without interference).
wet clay gets harder as time goes by (without interference).
all things that are gooey will harden as time goes by (without interference).
things that are already hard can not get much harder.
how can i compress a diamond into a case that is a nanometer too small to fit it in to? not with a shoe horn, and not with any manner of other considerations either.

"hardness" is a value where something will not yield under a value of compression.
"hardness" has no significance with relation to malleability or ductility.

i guess i better put my thinking cap on and answer you in a more realistic way.

when i was young, i was very attractive and i had a mentality that was aloof but relevant, and it attracted many females to want to attach themselves to me. i never was very much interested in them except for the observation that i made that they were accepting of my eccentricity and i liked them, but i never loved anyone.

i was always bouncing people away from my house and telling them that i did not want to f**k them, and i meant it. it was hard then. i had to hurt people by coming up with stupid reasons of why i did not want to be physical with them,

i never felt like i wanted to touch anyone. other people are other people. they are just "thems". why would i want to touch them? i already know what they would feel like if i did touch them, and i care not to remind myself with a dose of reality.

so now i am older, things have got easier. they have got softer. i do not admit anything into my minds gates that i am not prepared to think about.

anyway, there are other things to do than reply to this.

I honestly think you are too young to think like that, Andrejake. It may sound ignorant and a bit condescending, but it's true. I can only speak from my own experience, though. Things usually get easier as you find social circles in which you can fit in better than before, say in classes/schools. Social skills do develop over time, though many of the subtler parts remain hidden, I know.

Things like sensory sensitivities, adherence to routines don't go away, they only change forms. An adult can be even more rigid than a teenager/pre-teen.

It's always welcome to think further into the future, how things will be within a few years or decades. Aging makes those things more visible, more important. The natural drive to stay alive fades somewhat, so it's important to know yourself, be self confident, and know where you are going (and where you are coming from). I think letting go all the bad stuff, leaving behind grudge, resentment, false self-image, false believes, delusions can make the transition to middle-age much easier, avoiding the so-called middle age autistic burnout, which unfortunately happens to many on the spectrum who are trying their best to fit in this society.

It's generally a good starting point to get to know people by shared interests, be it sports, intellectual stuff, music, role-playing, etc. If you screw it, just move on, don't think too much, you'll get better (just don't think you are better ).

As for the camp, just make sure you bring one or two good books with you. You may read them when others socialize and you don't feel like doing that. You'd have free time, would you?

I have gotten myself into isolation so deep that I loved it then realized maybe I do want some friends and then it's hard.

Yeah, if only i liked futebol that much i would surely do that lol
Thanks for the tips!
About the camp it is kinda of a religious thing but the guy that invited me said it was a "just for fun" weekend. Surely there will be some "God related" stuff but that doesn't worry me. My problem is with "people related" stuff xD
Going anywhere would be enough for me to calm down if something bad starts to happens, i just don't know if they would let me (i have never gone on a camp or something like this with people outside of my family).



That was nice to hear Ojani!
Maybe i was just too worried about how some of those problemas were looking worse as the time was passing, but i'm still hoping for the best to come!
And yeah, i think i might be just fine if i take my 3DS and a good book with me.