How can I stop being scared of being treated differently?

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I have this fear of being treated differently. This isn't restricted just to my neurology, but it's the main part of my fear. Whenever people are polite, nice to me, seem patronizing or caring I assume that they're treating me differently. I often wonder if I'm being too strange, they think something is wrong with me or they treat everyone else like this.

This fear has stopped me from making friends, especially with people my age. I can tolerate people who are not my age treating me a bit differently, but I totally freak out if they're my age. I often feel like people my age are judging me. I feel like they expect me to be just like me and they'll punish me by treating me differenly if they think I'm not normal.

I had a good talk to a woman at work (who used to treat me normally) and told her about my Asperger's and although I know she's very nice, it's almost like she's patronizing me now. She knows people with Autism and now it seems like she's treating me like a little kid, which I don't really mind. All of my life, I never felt like I grew up properly. I still feel very young and it feels loving. Motherly!


Being too strange? You can only be what you are. But with time, I've learned to show more of ... No. I've learned to just be me and to not give a damn about what anyone else thinks. Actually, I never really did anyway. I've always danced to the beat of my own drum.

Now I say "Silly NT's" but in the old days, I used to say, "Silly humans!" (before diagnosis and learning that they're referred to as NT's).

I don't have that problem of not being able to make friends because I'm not interested in them. Humans hold nothing for me but misery. I've said many times, I'm not a misanthrope but I'm starting to question that judgement.

The more life goes on, the less I like and want to be around them.

Well I can tell you that I used to have to this fear when I was in 8th and 9th grade. I was depressed a lot of the time only because I had this belief that no one likes me. Plus I didn't like the fact I had Aspergers either.

Since when should you care what people think about you? In fact, chances are people don't hate you as much as you think they do. Even if people don't like you, it's not because you're mean or rude to them, chances are it's something that is not a good reason. And that's their problem not yours. Just be friendly and nice to others and most people won't have a reason to hate you.

Also as you get older, you start to care less what people think about you. 8th and 9th grade, is usually when you care about the opinions of others the most. For people with Aspergers this could be made twice as bad or be extended for years. Look on the bright side of being different. You won't jump off a bridge if everyone else is doing it.

Just don't hold a lifelong grudge towards others. Too much hate is bad for us. Hate eventually kills itself.

Absolutely to the above.

As you gain life experience, you'll realize that most people could give a rat's butt about you--unless you're bothering them or in some kind of trouble.

I honestly believe going to school, and getting some kind of credentials, will alleviate most of your problems in this particular area.

Hi Kraftie,

but what did you mean by the above?

The first part was obvious - people don't (in general) care about you

BUT

"unless you're bothering them or in some kind of trouble"


Did you mean, 'that's when they snap into action and come to your rescue' or did you mean, 'you're bothering them and they'll basically tell you to p!$$ off?

Can you see how that may have been taken a couple of ways?

I mean both, actually.