getting asked if you are ok

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why do people constantly ask me this? is it my body language or something?

If you're not smiling or if you are stimming, people will think something is wrong.

I've learned to always have a slight smile around people (Unless I'm actually really upset or angry) or else I'm asked this constantly. Now I'm just known as really nice and approachable even though I want everyone to leave me the hell alone... But I can't be like that at work

Oh god, this is one of my alltime betes noires! When I was at university in the late 1970s, someone really took me to task about this, saying I "took it too literally".

It wasn't until I was about 40 that I finally realized that someone who asked me "Are y'alright", or similar, was simply saying "Hello". Prior to that, I'd reply with all sorts of things, from a puzzled "What?" to "It depends what you mean....".

Now I just reply with "Alright?" or "Hi!"

Almost too ridiculous for words!

I got asked this all the time growing up, drove me nuts. The same people would tell me to "SMILE!! !" so I guess it was just because I didn't smile much. When I learned to put a phony smile on my face people quit asking so much. However if you smile too much they will start asking "What are you smiling about?" like that bothers them too. You can't win, no matter what you do someone will comment on it.

If a person is really annoying you with this, you could try turning to turn the tables and mirror it back to them, so when they ask if you're okay you act like you're suddenly concerned about them: "What?! No I'm fine, is something wrong? Are you okay?" It sounds weird but with some people it works and they never ask again.

Also I noticed some people say "you doing okay?" as an alternate way of saying "how are you?" and as with "how are you?" they don't really want a real answer.

The only person who really asked me this was my LO (limerent object). I think it was because I looked unhappy (frowning), or something my body language conveyed. She would say stuff about how my body language conveyed something, or what kind of aura I gave, stuff like that. Looking back, she was rather good at reading me, more so that my parents anyway.

Anyway, when she asked if I was ok, i usually just shrugged it off, most of the time i WAS ok. Other times, well, I didn't feel like telling her.

Nor anyone else who asks if i'm ok.

I can relate 100%+ to the above!

When I went into the teaching profession in the early 1980s (and why the hell did I do that?), some of the pupils started to refer to me as "Mr. Happy", for the obvious ironic reasons. Even I understood that, lol!

I never used to ask anyone whether they were "alright", unless I had good reason to be concerned that they might not be, either physically or mentally. But at least if I did ask, it would be for a genuine reason.

I think NTs always regarded me as odd in this respect, but I was never aware it was an issue.

It happens to me too, but more common in a variant like: "stop being mad at me!" or "I am not to blame something bad happened to you"
I always have to repeat: "I am not mad at you!! !! I am just thinking/tired"
when I am interacting I always put a smile on mu face and everyone regard me as a nice and approachable person. But then when I am doing something else or thinking they think I am angry, but that's just my thinking face. Also my facial expressions nearly always match what I am thinking even if it is not appropriate to do so, so the person thinks I am mad at them when in really I am thinking something totally unrelated like: "stupid exam question, they wanted to confuse us on purpose!"

am asked if am ok-constantly by one support staff in particular,because am unable to verbaly express this nor understand if am ok it causes a lot of anxiety so had ended up emailing our carehome manager about it.
she still does it but not as much.

I learnt the 'alright' lesson when I was about 12/13 ish after recieving a lengthy and somewhat sarcastic lecture on all the appropriate replys I could have given to the greeting rather than the 'yes.' that I had managed (thankfully I had already grasped the core of the 'how are you' lesson and kept it simple). I still struggle with that word and what a person may mean, the variation in meaning depending on the combination of who/where/when/how it is used is just not simple. It was a very useful example yesterday when discussing things with my GP for the first time (after my well layed out plan of what to say vanished).

The 'cheer up/its not as bad as you think/whats wrong from strangers and friends' lesson is another thing I get wrong from time to time but not so much anymore. I find I just need to hold a very slight smile when out on public display, not happy but not emotionless.

As an adult I have taught myself to keep up a friendly, positive expression on my face when around people I know well enough, and now I do it subconsciously, and so now I only get asked ''are you OK?'' if I am really feeling down inside.

I know what I do get asked sometimes, though. People often ask me ''do you want something?'' or ''do you want to ask me something?'' I think it's because I hover around people at work sometimes, and sort of look at them as if I'm about to ask them something. I think I do it as a way of wanting to still connect with people without having to talk to them, maybe if I'm feeling anxious about something in my life and I feel having people around me makes me feel ''safe'', I don't know.

I initially took the discussion to be about the rather pointless use of these expressions as a substitute for a basic greeting. Should have read the earlier posts more carefully!

But you're absolutely right to stress the "variation in meaning". When people ask me "Are you alright?" in a more purposeful way (ie if they think I'm looking glum), I still get a bit miffed as I generally just want to be left alone!

I wish I'd been lucky enough to have begun to work this stuff out at age 13!!

When people ask me this I simply respond "marvellous". This type of response seems to result in them not asking me if I'm OK going forward - which is just fine by me.

I've been asked that question many times throughout my life. I know it's the default expression on my face. That look I mention from time to time. In the future, I'm going to tell people that I'm fine and I'm smiling on the inside.

I get asked that all the time---especially when I meow in my cubicle.

It's not welcome, because the intention is not caring.

People are just afraid I'll go postal or something.

I just don't like the question.

i am never asked if i am OK because i never do not seem OK. people do not worry about me. they worry more about what i think of them. they are wrong to do so. i do not think about them at all.