Ongoing criticism

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I'm not good at fighting or arguing, and frequently I don't realize another person is being negative about me until something major happens. Or until someone tells me. Once I know though I am really scared, it's unexpected, it's confusing, and I am unclear what response is effective.

How do other people respond to someone who is constantly critical?

minimize contact.

And if you can't minimize contact, try lines like:

- Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
- Sorry to hear you feel that way but I feel differently.
- Can't say I agree.
- That's one way of looking at things.
- If you'll excuse me I have things to attend to.
- That's nice.
- That's not important to me.

And so forth...

I am tired from all the criticism that never seems to stop. Only it does for a bit when I absolutely say no, when I recognize it through someone else's eyes.

I don't know how to go on this way watching for negativity and catching it and pushing back. Is it always this way with people? I try to be nice because I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't see interactions with other people as battlegrounds unless they make it so. I don't understand seeing the world that way or how to cope because yes, this probably needs to continue in some form. It's so exhausting. How do people recover from the constant negativity of some other people when contact will continue?

I'm not good at fighting or arguing either. I don't think fast enough or something.

That's it exactly. I am not good at it and get all this coaching in how to deal with the negativity and drama of the world and the people around me. And I am so tired and just want to be able to take things as real and enjoy whatever can be enjoyed.

I know in a way WR seems like maybe the wrong place to ask the question. But all the coaching I get seems to be based in learning to play by another set of rules and though it works better to learn and follow them (act normal) in the moment, I am worried that doing so, I can never be happy because it really isn't me. That's why I am asking here. Because I want to know what other people do to manage who aren't neurotypical. Because maybe something will help find another path then being constantly criticized and taken advantage of or trying to learn to act normal and going over the edge from it. Because the odd thing is, normal and not normal stops mattering sometimes with nice people who accept. It's when the negativity explodes I don't know how to respond.

Anyway, this is why I am asking how people respond to criticism and negativity at WrongPlanet.

Walking away with your head up is always an option when things go "kaboom".

Sends the message that you won't play their game (I'm taking my ball and I'm going home - if you want to play with me then learn to play nice).

Life is to short to have to put up with super-dramatic people. There's lots of nice people out there, they just need to be sought out.

You are right. It just seems like there should be some other way, besides walking away. But I understand from Aspies and non Aspies alike---I have to be willing to walk away from drama kings (or queens).

What does anyone get from negativity towards others and threats and drama?