Need advice from others with ADHD

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I went to a clinic that accepts my medicaid. So far, I really like them. I met with my social worker who will be giving me therapy. She is very nice, and no one invalidated my autism at all. I was very concerned about my autism being dismissed as a misdiagnosis because of past interactions with people.

Well, I talked to my case manager about my ADHD. I want to see a psychiatrist to possibly go back on Adderall XR. I used to abuse Vicodin, but this stemmed from a legitimate prescription and I got dependent on it. I have not taken one in 8 months. I was honest about this, and I was sure to agree I will inform them about any possible urges to use it again.

I asked my new case manager about how to word my wanting to be back on Adderall. I have proof I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 16 and was put on it. I NEVER abused Adderall. In fact, it made me calm. It wasn't a miracle, but there was a huge improvement. I ended up going off of it because I felt I didn't need medicines at the time (my abusive mother kept pushing them on me and getting me more and more drugged up, so I just quit everything). The only reason I specify Adderall XR is because it was the only medicine I was tried on for it, and I've had severe reactions to medicines in the past. Now, I don't think I'm being irrational for wanting to try something that previously worked. I'm also not only there for Adderall. I tried Trazadone again, but the person who prescribed it didn't give me refills. It helped with my insomnia, and I would like to be on that again. I'm hoping it might help my anxiety, too. So clearly, this isn't the only thing on my mind, but I am concerned about starting school with uncontrolled ADHD.

The troubling part is this. When I asked about what they think, especially because I don't think this is an irrational fear that doctors will think I'm drug seeking, they said the following:

Don't worry about how you ask
The doctor may deny you because a lot of people abuse it (OK, I get this, but if you have legitimate ADHD, it's NOT abuse to take your damn medicine)
They think Adderall is an addiction problem even if you do have ADHD
They actually said "It's rare not to be diagnosed when you are a child" and laughed
They encouraged me to get proof of diagnosis, proof of previous prescription, and proof of method of diagnosis if possible

Now, I rightfully corrected them on the part where they think it's rare to not be diagnosed when you are a child. In other words, they think it's rare for adults to be undiagnosed. Uhm, when I was a child, people didn't think females could have ADHD. People also missed my autism even though it should have been fairly obvious (Some of my traits used to be way worse). I was diagnosed at the age of 16, even though I kept telling doctors I have SEVERE focusing problems and it was EXTREMELY apparent. They acknowledged my focusing problems, but always told me I didn't have ADHD and dumped anti-psychotics on me. I also told them I have OCD, and they saw my compulsions for the whole session, yet never diagnosed me until 16. A FEMALE psychiatrist finally diagnosed me (I only had males until then), and she was the most correct out of all of the doctors I went to. She was the only one who didn't just dismiss a diagnosis that was extremely apparent.

When I was young, people didn't get diagnosed with ADHD unless they were hyperactive. A lot of us who were inattentive or a combination were missed (in the location I was in). Also, their myth is highly troubling to me. They are assuming I had access to proper mental health treatment, and they are assuming I couldn't be misdiagnosed. Also, they are assuming that when I was younger, it was easy to diagnose a freakin' 5 year old with ADHD. I wasn't even in mental health treatment until the age of 11. Also, a lot of parents don't want to put their ADHD children on any medicine because they believe they will be "addicted", even if it CALMS THEM DOWN. Then they will tell you how you can get better without meds, as if ADHD is just a willpower issue.




I'm thinking I should pull up scientific studies and a "myth" section from a .gov site. I will bring in my proof, and I'm also thinking I should be prepared to give a paper full of credible information (from a credible site, of course) if my new psych insists on perpetrating myths. Now, this wasn't a psychiatrist talking, as I don't have one yet. However, in my experience, if a case worker starts spouting off myths about something, the doctor also does something similar (hopefully that won't happen..)

How do I go about this now? My life has gotten to a point where I'm fed UP with my lack of focus. I have to keep rereading everything, and I still miss words. I can't even do the dishes for more than 2 minutes without getting distracted, starting a new task, and then wandering off. In high school, I didn't have to worry as much, as I failed everything anyways. The demands of adulthood are just too much without proper medication for my ADHD. My room is always a mess, and no one understands. I always get told that I'm lazy, and ask for help from people to do chores. I also can't talk properly because my mind is everywhere at once. I'm DONE. I need help.

I did try to get help about a year and a half ago. The psychiatrist was horrible. She diagnosed me with Bipolar type II, possible PTSD, and a possible eating disorder. I mentioned ADHD to her, and she insisted that because I was diagnosed when I was 16, that I couldn't possibly have it. This was before I was diagnosed with ASD. Now, she also didn't listen to me, kept interrupting my list of symptoms that I wrote down, and took everything out of context. She didn't even ask about my frequency of symptoms. She completely missed Bipolar until I yelled "I HAVE MANIA THAT LASTS FOR A WEEK AND THEN DISTINCT DEPRESSIVE PERIODS"

As you can see from above, I'm very weary of doctors. Luckily, this team of providers has weekly meetings to discuss their clients. Therefor, if anything is missed by the psychiatrist, hopefully my therapist will mention it. The same goes for the other people involved in the meetings.

I really need advice on what to do. I'm nervous. I actually don't mind being put on a different med, but since Adderall worked so well, and I'm sensitive to medicines, it makes sense to me that I should be put on what worked before. I was afraid of coming off as a "know it all" for advocating on my behalf. Since everyone didn't question my ASD, I'm hoping they understand how I communicate is a bit more formal and scientifically based. I just don't want this to be interpreted as "Bleh is a drug seeker who uses medical terminology and is manipulative". I can't manipulate my way out of a "paper bag". LOL

Sorry, guys. I didn't notice how long this was. I really do attempt to word my thoughts in a more concise way, but apparently, I keep failing.

I suggest looking for a specialist who has experience working with adults who have ADHD, preferably one who also has experience evaluating adults for ADHD.

If your social worker/case manager (I could not tell if they were the same person or 2 different people) can't refer you to such a person, then maybe you could:

1. Call your local college of physicians and surgeons and ask them if there are any such specialists accepting new patients;

2. Call a local support group for ADHD and ask them if they know of any such specialists;

3. Or check out CHADD's resource directory

The case worker and social worker were two different people. The one who said the things about ADHD was my case worker. I also spoke to the person who screens everyone for drug addiction, who was in the room with my case worker.

I have medical assistance, which means everything is free. However, I don't think I can afford to have a specialist. From what I've gathered, out-of-pocket costs would be at least $150 per psychiatrist visit. I'm below the poverty level. I will be looking up all of the information you told me about. Thanks. If anyone has any other advice, especially for those of us without much money, please share.