my brother is autistic too?
So my little brother was in the armed services and now has post traumatic stress disorder. He also has 4 young kids. In the past few months in wife had to have an emergency c-section and his three-year-old had a growth removed from his hiney. He's had a lot of stress on him and finally had to check himself in to the mental hospital. He came out with a brand spanking new diagnosis, autism. Our mom told me.
I've known I have autism since I found a book on it in highschool, 16 years ago. But my brother never had my interest in psychology. Also I've only in recent years come to terms with it. And we don't talk much. I don't know if he is even aware I am autistic too or if he knows mom told me.
I know it is a big shock to him. And he is questioning how he even got into the military with no one noticing. I want to offer him support and encouragement, but have no idea how to broach the subject.
ASPartOfMe
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I've known I have autism since I found a book on it in highschool, 16 years ago. But my brother never had my interest in psychology. Also I've only in recent years come to terms with it. And we don't talk much. I don't know if he is even aware I am autistic too or if he knows mom told me.
I know it is a big shock to him. And he is questioning how he even got into the military with no one noticing. I want to offer him support and encouragement, but have no idea how to broach the subject.
Up front, because he might not notice a subtle approach. Just tell him you have familiarity with it because you have long suspected it in yourself and are into psychology. If he has any questions you are there for him and leave it at that. He will be ready when he is ready. You can't make another person ready for acceptance. I would tell him about this place because for a lot of people it is easier to discuss, vent, online then in person. There are PTSD forums also.
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“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.
Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 14 Jul 2014, 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Write him a note. Say essentially what you said here--admit you don't know how to start the conversation, explain that you're his sibling and you want to support him and offer any information you may have learned, explain that because you're family you don't care whether he's autistic or not because you like him the same as you did before he knew.
It might be useful to point out that autism does not need to be obvious or severe. If he made it through the military, he probably doesn't have an obvious case, which is why it was missed for so long.
For some autistics, the military can be a good working environment because of the structure available there, which makes it easier not to get overloaded by unpredictability. It depends, though--some autistics couldn't make it in the military at all, but others make extremely good soldiers. Right now autism and the military isn't too well-regulated, with some autistics being rejected on principle even though they can do the job. But the fact is, autism is so diverse; some autistics are employable, some not, and some of the employable autistics are actually outstanding in their field precisely because they have autism. Among them are some autistic people who can succeed in the military. I know one Aspie woman who's a retired Marine and now a research scientist, and she's as Aspie as they come.
I think your brother's going to have to work through what it means to be disabled, what it means to be autistic. Until now, disability and autism have both been concepts he associates with other people, not with himself. Getting the news that he is in fact autistic, he's suddenly trying to figure out whether all those ideas that come along with disability and with autism actually apply to him. Give him a cheat sheet: Most of those stereotypes don't apply; most of the rest apply only partially, and the diagnosis doesn't change who he is. It might tell him more about himself than he used to know, though.
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GOD!! It sound a lot like my life story. Having the world stressing you out and not knowing why and thinking that you will eventually adapt or outgrow it but it never happens and you eventually reach the breaking point.
