Do you ever wish to be normal?

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Okay, this is my first time posting anything on this website so excuse my anxiousness.

I'm just wondering if any of you guys have ever wished to be normal?

I do and I don't.

The times that I wish I was normal is always after a tantrum/breakdown (my mum calls them a wobble). Especially if it's in public because a lot of people are nice enough to understand and realise there's something wrong with you but there's always the one or two persons that look at you in disgust.

I have the mannerisms/behaviour of a person with severe autism (rocking back and forth, making noises, clapping hands) and the maturity of a five year old (Mum has to watch me in public like you would a toddler because I'd go off somewhere and have zero sense of danger, I watch cartoons for toddlers, I play counting games (love counting games) and I play with preschool toys) yet I possess a somewhat above average intelligence (I'm in college right now) and can converse normal (with a bit of a speech impediment) and when I go in public with my mum, people look at me like I'm some freak because I act like that... That really makes me wish I was normal because I wouldn't be doing all that stuff and I'd be an average person.

The times I don't wish I was normal is the times when those things don't happen. When I'm at home I am happy. All my behaviours aren't frowned upon (except when I'm naughty) and I don't have to worry about people judging me.

So, do you ever wish to be normal?

No, not normal....perhaps more functional like able to hold a job, and with less mental illness symptoms interfering with my life but not normal the way its defined in society at the moment.

Welcome to the website, Coda! To answer your question, yes, I wish I was more normal.

never!
it tends to be HFAs who want to be different because they have the awareness and social capacity to feel the impact of what other people think.
am LFA and completely at peace with self/ autism/ID and woud never choose to be different,hate the widely ignorant belief that those of us on the lf spectrum are only lfa if we hate ourselves and want to be cured, that is a belief that mostly NTs and sometimes aspies project onto us.

no, well not in general.


I wish I could go out places with people without panicking before hand, and changing my mind all the time.

I wish I handled change better.

we all have things we would change but I have never wished I was normal, its a weird concept anyway, there is no such thing as normal, but I have never wished I was like other people I know in everyway.

Hi Coda! Welcome to WrongPlanet!
(Random off topic question: Does your screen name happen to stand for child of Deaf adult?)

Yes, there are times that I do wish to be normal. I usually feel this way when I can't go somewhere or do something because of my sensory issues. I wish I could. I want to be able to do the same things that other college students do. I can't even go into a grocery store without getting overloaded and having difficulty processing information, finding things, navigating, talking in a normal way, looking at people, and holding my body normally. Then when I get out of the store, if I have to drive myself home, I have to rest in the car for a half hour or even 2 hours before I can drive. So rock concerts and loud parties are out of the question for me, and I am left out of so many activities.

But there are still so many times when I dont wish I was any different from the way I am. The vast majority of the time the thought of being "normal" never even enters my head.

am not sure if agree with that or not [that everyone has things they woud change].
have personaly experienced a lot of severe and low level trauma throughout whole life as well as many things that went wrong, mistakes etc-however woud not change any of it,am a better stronger person and cant be beat by crap.

ok, I should have put many or most, I don't know many that would not change something, you know even, like most people I know want to change something about their physical appearance, like having straight hair, I myself would love to have curly hair.

but in terms of situational things, or general life state I don't think many want to change that, unless you are like in death situations, like you say I think people generally feel that their situation has made them who they are, although I know myself that when I have been in bad situations I have wished to be someone else but they are thoughts in time of great stress.

Nope, but I wish others could be a tiny bit more tolerant.

No, I chose this name because it is from sheet music (I'm a Pianist) and because it is the title of one of my favourite TV show episodes (Criminal Minds, Season 06 Episode 16). Though I never knew it was an acronym for Child of Deaf Adult. Funnily enough my dad is partially deaf (and gradually getting worse) so I guess Coda is a good nickname for me.

I think I should have explained myself more better. I don't mean normal... more... less autistic? I don't know. I love my autism as it's a huge part of my personality, it makes me cheeky and childlike and it makes people laugh (not in the mocking way).

It's just when 'normal' people (I guess you guys call non-autistic people neurotypicals (NTs)?) look at me like I'm some sort of freak makes me want to be... not autistic. It really hurts me, like it squeezes my heart and makes my eyes water.

I wish I could just brush it off but it's hard to do that when you have someone blatantly scrutinising you, shaking their head and whispering to their friend/family member next to them.

For instance, last weekend I was going to the cinema with my mum and on our journey there the bus stopped half way through its proper route and said it was its last stop. I had a tantrum and was crying because I was scared and really confused, everyone at the bus stop was looking at me and my mum like we were freaks. That... that is what makes me want to be not autistic.

Coda is my favourite CM episode too!

Sorry, just had to jump in and post that As for your question about normality, I am very similar to you in that the only times I wish I were "normal" are after meltdowns, after which I usually feel very stupid, very annoyed, pathetic, and physically as well as mentally tired. 99% of the time, I like who I am and think I'm a generally interesting person. I wouldn't want to be expected to behave the way NTs are expected to behave; happy, sociable and willing to make small-talk all the time. That's an unrealistic expectation even for a lot of "normal" people, and I'm glad I have a "get out of normal free" card, if you will.

Love Criminal Minds, I can tell you absolutely everything about CM.

And yeah, I too usually feel stupid, annoyed, pathetic and mentally, as well as physically, worn down after a meltdown. I remember during my transition from my special needs high school to mainstream college was just awful. Everyday I was melting down and having panic attacks due to the massive change I knew was coming. I was scratching my skin to the point were it bled and was forced to wear mittens to stop me from doing it during meltdowns.

I hate small talk. If someone tries it with me I usually just tell 'em straight up that I don't give a damn about the weather and that we should start talking about real subjects. Rude I know but small talk just makes me uncomfortable.

I like to think that my autism is 90% positive... I like to think that if I didn't have autism then I wouldn't have done all the cool stuff I've done in my life so far and that the opportunities I'm given all the time wouldn't have been given if I was 'normal'. But it does get frustrating at times, like when I'm sitting there for almost an hour readjusting my socks and retying my shoes for the 30th time because I have some stupid sensory issues.

I guess the pros of my autism outweigh the cons if I really think about my life.

And yeah, the "get out of normal free" card is really helpful. In college I have an LSA around me at all times, on my last day of college I was really stressed and instead of being cooped up all day in class, my LSA took me to the park for 3 hours. If I get anxious over work, we go to see the animals outside or play a game on my iPad. It's nice.

Last edited by Coda on 04 Jul 2014, 9:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's a complicated question.

I wish I knew what it was like to be normal. It would be easier for me to understand neurotypicals if I knew more about what life is like for them.

I wish I were treated as well as people who are considered normal.

On the other hand, I want to be myself, not someone else.

What I want isn't to be normal, but to get the same rights that normal people have. Call it "normal privilege", along the lines of white privilege--I'm a minority individual (disability, not race, but it's the same principle), and I don't want to become part of the majority, but I do want the same rights. It is like someone who is black and wants to stay black, but wants to have the same rights as white people do, both legally and in everyday life.

I want equality and acceptance, I want a world that lets me live my life and contribute to my community, a world where my being different may not be normal, but is still considered acceptable.

So... I don't want to be normal, but I do want a lot of the things that normal people have, and often take for granted, because we don't have true equality yet and I really wish we did.

I hate being me so I would want one of two things. On one hand I want to be totally normal and not be upset about things that make me feel like an insensitive a**hole. On the other hand the things I am upset about because I'm not normal make me wish I was less normal.

I obsessively crave novelty, strangeness, and stimulation to the point where I wish I was hallucinating, I wish my senses were amplified, I wish I could be more than one person at once, I wish I could experience the feeling of having an animal's body, I wish for a lot of things that ironically would be considered disordered or not normal if I actually had them but most normal people don't wish these things on themselves because normal people have more sense than I do. I'm just an insensitive psycho.

If I were normal I wouldn't have the same obsessive preoccupations and insensitive wishes and I would probably be happier. In that sense I wish I were normal. My obsessive preoccupations make me wish I was less normal so in that sense I wish to be less normal. Either way I don't have any desire to be the same as I am.

Well I would not say I want to be normal. I would like to be made fun of less though. I have been the center of many peoples jokes and laughed at often. I'm very clumsy and drop things all the time and lose my balance. Apparently others find this hilarious. It would be interesting to see what they would experience if they had to live for one day in my body and my OCD mind.