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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 12:17 pm

Every time I go out for even half a day, to uni or to an a non-local appointment, I get extreme exhaustion when I get back home.

I went to uni today. Since I've come home, I've tried a cold shower, coffee, sugary Coke, eating, resting and doing something I normally enjoy. Nothing has worked. I am still seriously exhausted and I'm walking around the house like a zombie.

All the sensory inputs, and talking to people when I have to, and managing severe anxiety.... it seriously tires me out.

(My uni is in Central London. I live in the suburbs of London)

Does anyone else get this? Is there anything I can do about this?

I'm afraid to fall asleep as it is hot and I may wake up dehydrated.

I've also got a migraine.

How the hell am I supposed to study now?

How the hell will I ever cope with working all day, five days a week?


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KB8CWB
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15 Jul 2014, 12:47 pm

I did it for many years and it isn't easy! I had to force myself and every day I went to work I dreaded the drive there. Lunches I got the hell out of there and would chill in my car no matter how hot or cold it was outside. And when I got home I just basically collapsed. No energy to eat or even wash up (wasn't a dirty job thankfully) and I would just lay down and go to sleep (after taking xanax). Weekends or days off were totally shot. I was a wreck and would hide away and sleep as much as possible. After a full weekend off I was again functional but dreading another week of torture.

I did this for years and it took its toll. The stress brought on many other things physically for me and after 3 years I am still unable to work. All I can say is avoid retail at ANY cost! I only did the retail as I couldn't find work locally after 9/11 as an engineer. Nearly 10 years of it and I am surprised I didn't end up with a heart attack or something.

Only advice I have is to seek solitude as much as possible, see your doctor to see if you can get something for anxiety and sleep. And get as much sleep and rest as you can! And pursue a job where you don't have to deal with idiotic, noisy, ill-mannered, and rude people if you can. But sometimes there is no way round it so cope you must. I wish you well it is NO joy ride for sure!



SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 12:56 pm

Thanks that's good advice. I'll take olanzapine early tonight.

I would never work in retail, no way. I wouldn't pass the interview but that's probably for the best.

I'm currently on disability benefits but I want to earn my own money once I've completed my degree.

I don't know what to do right now. I am too wound up to relax.

I have a potential summer job at my uni but I keep putting it off as I know it will cause neuronal apoptosis or something. Every time I go out I feel like my brain has decreased in volume.


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KB8CWB
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15 Jul 2014, 1:02 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Every time I go out I feel like my brain has decreased in volume.


^THIS^

To me it is like all the people I deal with seem to suck the life out of me. My capacity to think and function diminishes rapidly and by the end of the day I feel like a zombie almost unable to move and unable to think. It was so bad I would get confused driving home not knowing where I was. Or other times I didn't even remember the drive home. 8O It is like my brain just shut down, I know not how else to describe it....



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15 Jul 2014, 1:02 pm

KB8CWB wrote:
I did it for many years and it isn't easy! I had to force myself and every day I went to work I dreaded the drive there. Lunches I got the hell out of there and would chill in my car no matter how hot or cold it was outside. And when I got home I just basically collapsed. No energy to eat or even wash up (wasn't a dirty job thankfully) and I would just lay down and go to sleep (after taking xanax). Weekends or days off were totally shot. I was a wreck and would hide away and sleep as much as possible. After a full weekend off I was again functional but dreading another week of torture.

[...]

Only advice I have is to seek solitude as much as possible, see your doctor to see if you can get something for anxiety and sleep. And get as much sleep and rest as you can! And pursue a job where you don't have to deal with idiotic, noisy, ill-mannered, and rude people if you can. But sometimes there is no way round it so cope you must. I wish you well it is NO joy ride for sure!

Me, too.


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structrix
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15 Jul 2014, 1:14 pm

KB8CWB wrote:
SteelMaiden wrote:
Every time I go out I feel like my brain has decreased in volume.


^THIS^

To me it is like all the people I deal with seem to suck the life out of me. My capacity to think and function diminishes rapidly and by the end of the day I feel like a zombie almost unable to move and unable to think. It was so bad I would get confused driving home not knowing where I was. Or other times I didn't even remember the drive home. 8O It is like my brain just shut down, I know not how else to describe it....


I definitely feel like this many days especially on the days where I have to speak to people the most.


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LookingLost
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15 Jul 2014, 1:21 pm

I think I might get this too.


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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 1:24 pm

I am going to have an Only Speak When Absolutely Necessary Rule.

I wish people could accept that nonverbal is easier for me! Everywhere I am expected to speak and socialise! I want to do neither!!


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skibum
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15 Jul 2014, 2:05 pm

It's been decades since Uni for me, wow time flies, but I know that when I would go to some church meetings I would have to sleep for almost the whole day afterwards. But I remember being very exhausted in school too. I managed but it was not easy. I actually ended up dropping out in my senior year because my body and brain were just completely done. I just could not go on any longer. It took me a very long time to recover.


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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 2:09 pm

Sorry to hear that you all have the same problems.

I need to decide:
(a) become only partially nonverbal or,
(b) talk because other people want me to.

I am leaning far towards (a) but I need a solid plan as to how I can approach this.

Not speaking much is bliss. Hence why I now live alone in a very quiet residential area full of quiet people.


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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 2:22 pm

I rarely have strong emotions but I feel so **** that I'm actually producing tears. I need to find a solution. I need to stop talking. Before it stresses me out so much that I'll relapse (I have relapsed with social overload while on holiday before).


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skibum
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15 Jul 2014, 2:28 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
Sorry to hear that you all have the same problems.

I need to decide:
(a) become only partially nonverbal or,
(b) talk because other people want me to.

I am leaning far towards (a) but I need a solid plan as to how I can approach this.

Not speaking much is bliss. Hence why I now live alone in a very quiet residential area full of quiet people.
I thought you had already decided to go non verbal except only when absolutely necessary like instead of sending a fax to you GP. I think that would be a great option for you because speech is so exhausting for you.


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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 2:30 pm

skibum wrote:
I thought you had already decided to go non verbal except only when absolutely necessary like instead of sending a fax to you GP. I think that would be a great option for you because speech is so exhausting for you.


I did decide but then my dad and some other people told me it was stupid and I should try to talk. So I've tried to talk. And look where it got me. I am close to self harm.

Decision now permanently is to only talk when absolutely necessary.

Talking causes too much pain and you're right.

Thanks.


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SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 2:55 pm

I'm in ****loads of tears and I think I'm on the verge of a meltodwn a friend keeps telling me that I need to speak otherwise I wont be independent she s saying that I can't be partially verbal and that i neeD to speak I dont know what to do


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KB8CWB
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15 Jul 2014, 3:04 pm

SteelMaiden wrote:
I'm in ****loads of tears and I think I'm on the verge of a meltodwn a friend keeps telling me that I need to speak otherwise I wont be independent she s saying that I can't be partially verbal and that i neeD to speak I dont know what to do

I'll take olanzapine early tonight.


Perhaps now is a better time rather then waiting. Find something to take your mind off this issue for now. Better to sleep on it then progressing into a full blown meltdown if you can....



SteelMaiden
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15 Jul 2014, 3:14 pm

I'm playing Rollercoaster Tycoon while I'm waiting to get tired. Olanzapine is kicking in.


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