Aspies hate me!

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It's been pointed out that my aspergers is obvious (someone even pointed out to me that I look like I have aspergers).

I noticed that when i got to the pub and hang out with some friends I know who have AS(who have it milder than me) they can be really intolerant of my poor social skills and aspie behaviour. More so than Neurotypicals in fact

Do you think the reason why they take a dislike to me is because I make Aspergers look 'bad'????

I'd go as far as saying I get along better with NTs than people with Aspergers.

Maybe you should emphasize your "personhood," rather than your "Asperger's."

I have written elsewhere on Wrong Planet about how I believe that Aspies with differences in characteristics and/or severity probably have a harder time maintaining their friendships and relationships. At least this was true with me.

It could be that they have put a lot of effort into improving their social skills and ability to look and act normal in a social place like a pub. So they are careful how they act and find it important that their stigma doesn't show. Then they could think that if your aspie behaviour shows, it threatens their "face" and makes their stigma show. And they could be very sensitive to that.

How's that relevant to my above post?

I was agreeing with your previous comment:

because some Aspies have instilled strict social skills. I go to camp with other teens on the spectrum and most of us are very polite and well mannered, but theres one guy who is very rude and actually picks on us, we don't like him.

If they do dislike you for that reason, it could very well just reflect their own insecurities about their struggles with autism than anything that you are doing.

I sometimes feel that I get along better with NT's in certain situations too.

am LFA,not aspie but have the same experience to in that get better treatment from NTs than aspies,am often treated like am completely unrelateable to aspies by many because they dont want to feel like they have any connection to severe classic autism,incase it damages their aspie street cred,many think theyre better because they dont have intelectual disability,have been treated this way online and offline yet have been treated with a lot of positivity by the random and not so random NTs who pass through life.

no one makes a condition look bad,if anything it is those with the most severe forms of each condition who the labels are designed for and need it more than anyone so have got no pity if people cant handle fellow aspies/auties/adhders etc being more severely affected than themselves,that just shows they need to grow up,mentaly and get some life experience.

This isn't uncommon. It has long been reported and researched within minorities of all kinds. Those who are "too" far afield of the "norm" within a minority are called "sell outs" or "drags" on overall acceptance.

By the way, KingdomOfRats, I didn't know that you are LFA until I read your comment. It surprised me because your comments are always much more thoughtful than most. Maybe that is just my way of "assuming" behavior norms. Thanks for your wisdom.

I was diagnosed with aspergers in 1997 so I have not classic autism as such.

OP Could you explain how their intolerance manifests itself to you?

Perhaps you remind them of a part of themselves that they don't wish to acknowledge.

Aspies can get annoyed by AS traits from other aspies.

It's also common for people to treat people better who have obvious disabilities. If you look normal, you don't get treated as good and people don't understand you.

They could also assume that you're being lazy because you're not working as hard as they are to appear "normal." Please note that I'm not actually saying that you're lazy or not working hard enough to improve. But if they feel that you can't work as diligently as they can in keeping up a "normal" appearance, they're liable to get frustrated. Their inability to understand your social struggles and their rigid enforcement of proper social skills may have to do with their AS, or you may just need to find better friends.

There are aspies out there who don't take the effort to improve or try just because they have AS so they don't feel obligated. It's either accept them or don't. So perhaps his "friends" think that is what he is doing. I have met people like this and seen them online say it too. Sometimes it's fear. They think if they improve, they will get bad as NTs.