I applied for disability

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I just applied for disability because I can't see myself working with all this anxiety. I feel sort of ashamed because I thought I would never do that and I'm not certain I would be approved, but I don't know.

Sometimes I just wish people would understand that anxiety IS and CAN BE a "real" illness. Just because I'm not really dying doesn't mean that I don't struggle everyday just to get out of bed and get in the shower.

People might not understand why I'm doing this and I don't really want it to be forever, but the only job that would be worth suffering everyday for would be in my dreams if I could actually be famous, but if I can't, that gives me even less reason to live and be functioning and it just causes the anxiety to rise even more.

I'm really embarrassed about this but just because I'm autistic or whatever I shouldn't have to be trapped in a no man zone with no resources and stuff.

I understand and I hope you get the help you need.

Get a competent psychiatrist to help you. You will need a diagnosis. Then, when you are denied, you'll need a lawyer. It takes several years, usually.

I got on disability before I had my autism diagnosis -- it was originally paying for my anxiety. It might take a certain amount of luck, but you can definitely get benefits for anxiety and nothing else.

I have a lot of diagnoses. They are in my signature.

One thing to keep in mind is if you do get denied you can appeal the decision as well, its not uncommon to be denied on the first attempt even if you do have legitimate mental health and/or physical health issues. If you do appeal I'd recommend getting an attorney, though they get paid some of your back pay if you win the case, but doubt I would have been approved without one.

Anyways good luck on that and try to be patient since it can be a long grueling process.

I know how you feel, I was off from college for a year with anxiety, there is always a kind of embarrassment because unless people know what high and long term anxiety does the tend to think you are making mountains out of mole hills.

I used to beat myself up about it, because its irrational, its really frustrating because in reality logically you know there is nothing to be anxious about to the extent you are but yet it happens anyway

I know how you feel. I also feel embarrassed and I think lot of people don't understand anxiety and what the stress does to me. I know there are pills for it. People say they go through stress or find things stressful and they still did it or saying it's not a big deal. I would like to know how something is stressful if it's not affecting them? Are they regressing or shutting down or acting worse? Cranky, yes. But are they regressing or shutting down and can't cope?

Yes. My physical-disability claims (it took four attempts for me) took almost 12 years.

To get an idea of what it takes to receive a U.S. Social Security Administration (SSA) claim, check out Nolo http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/disability-law for some basics. Disability claims have four stages of examination: application, reconsideration, administrative-law judge (ALJ) review and ALJ appeal. An optional fifth stage includes filing lawsuit against the U.S. Social Security Administration at your U.S. District Court (at your own expense). Your claim can be awarded at any stage. But, some axioms of the disability-claim experience: Almost every applicant is denied at the application and reconsideration stages. Your odds are better at the ALJ stage.

But, you MUST develop your own evidence. Having an attorney working for you is best to make certain that your application deadlines are met (they are paid a part of your accrued benefits if and when you are awarded your claim), but many disability attorneys don't tell you how much evidence is best for your case. Using Nolo and surfing around the Internet is a great way to learn how you can improve what your attorney and doctors are providing to your claim.

Applying for your claim isn't a spectator sport. You must be actively involved for months and years at a time.

Good luck!

I'm on SSI, and they accepted me without an attorney on the first try (though it took 9 months to get accepted in the first place).

All I did was have an advocate group sign a piece of paper or two and then drop off a stack of my medical history stuff (diagnoses, prescriptions, IEPs, etc.) that was heavy enough to make people think "...Woah."

Give them ALL of your mental health related paperwork, let them do their examination, and scare them into doing the right thing by sheer volume of evidence.

I have someone helpful enough to submitted evidence for my disability, it was what approved self.

Anxiety is a legitimate diagnosis and you list it in your signature as a diagnosis so you shouldn't have to convince anyone on that count. The only people who get to question that are your mental heath professionals. Anyone else is unqualified, try not to take lay opinions to heart (easier said than done, I know).

You mentioned wanting to be famous as a job - I'm curious what you would want to be famous for? Famous isn't a job description, it's a consequence for a minority of people in certain industries. What would you like to be so successful at that you would be well known for? If you have a passion for the arts then maybe focusing on that while you wait for your application to be processed would be helpful. If you enjoy acting then read some scripts and study techniques, if you are a musician get yourself some new music to practice etc etc. It won't change the process of applying but concentrating on your passion might help you feel better while you wait by giving you a positive outlet for the frustration and fears.

I have had the thought being a rather well known musician with enough fame to have a large income would be more ideal than my current life, but I am not musically talented(not that all bands/musicians that gain any fame are anyways)...but even I had somehow gone that path eventually there would be that news article of 'so and so died of a drug overdose, no one knows if it was suicide or by accident' or something like that....so probably still unhappy even if I where in such a position..

I sort of get the OPs initial thought of that, but in my opinion that wouldn't end well in my case.