So I found myself in a common situation today.
People are mad at me; I'm at fault again, and I don't know what to do.
So I have problems communicating with my family a lot. Specifically because I always somehow sound mean and I don't know how not to. I got into an argument, and I found myself getting verbally angry, as well as physically angry, but controlled. I'm mostly a pacifist, so I don't ever really hit anybody, but I have found myself wanting to, and, in a greater respect, have found myself in my room in a full out rage trying to keep myself calm. The problem is that I feel as if, since I'm 17 and I don't have a job, I feel as if the that the people in my house have started to make me feel less, or maybe in a better light, have stopped really caring about me. I don't blame them for it because I can be mean, but I also am trying very hard to make conversation and be nice. I love my mom, but my sister is just awful. She has a pacifistic boyfriend, a loud mouth, and some dogs. Personally, if I know you, I'm extremely kind. Around children and my niece, I'm very nice. In fact, around kids, I specifically try to make the kids have fun and enjoy themselves. (Child at heart perk Fallout New Vegas). When my niece is around I try much harder not to be mean- and the family is okay, but around my family I'm extremely realistic and really don't border on happy or sad, but rather on reality. Even still, around my sister, I'm berated by my whole family for being a complete ****, but the truth is that I'm just extraordinarily uncomfortable around her because she's a "better-than-you". I hate better-than-yous. I do everything I can not to be a better-than-you, but everybody says that I'm being one. I'm constantly angry and feeling the need to take my anger out through violence- albeit I'll likely never act on it. I don't know if it's an aspie thing, but I constantly end up trying to say something nice, only to realize 10 seconds later that I've been a complete ****, and I end up with people yelling at me. My family is kind of sensitive, and, as much as I have tried, I won't be able to stay in my room like a mountain troll forever. Help?
Btw, thank you for the advice on the last post, it certainly helped a whole bunch.
27 Jul 2014, 10:27 am
