Big Changes
Some people wonder why it's so hard for people on the spectrum to deal with big changes. This is my answer.
Here's the thing about about "big" changes: One "big change" is actually a whole bunch of "little changes," all happening at the same time.
Here's an example
Big change: Moving to a new home.
Little changes: The soundscape will be different; your bedroom might face a different direction (which matters if you used to rely on the sun to wake you up -- or on the darkness to let you sleep in!); the showerhead might be different, and might work better or worse, have higher or lower pressure; the lighting fixtures, the types of bulbs in them, might be different; the neighbors will definitely be different; the choices of food at the local supermarket might be different; the local restaurant choices might be different; etc.
To some people, like me, some of these "little changes" (maybe a lot of them), would be a really big deal. It can be a lot to take in.
Thank you!
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btbnnyr
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I think that many people not only autistic have some degree of difficulty dealing with big changes like moving or new job or new school, etc.
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It makes sense that those small changes would add to the distress, but as the above poster said everyone experiences those changes. You could argue that sensory sensitivities and other issues may cause those small changes to have greater impact, but it would still be more appropriate to place the root of the problem as being executive functioning deficits - problems with generalizing and flexibility etc.
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Here's the thing about about "big" changes: One "big change" is actually a whole bunch of "little changes," all happening at the same time.
Here's an example
Big change: Moving to a new home.
Little changes: The soundscape will be different; your bedroom might face a different direction (which matters if you used to rely on the sun to wake you up -- or on the darkness to let you sleep in!); the showerhead might be different, and might work better or worse, have higher or lower pressure; the lighting fixtures, the types of bulbs in them, might be different; the neighbors will definitely be different; the choices of food at the local supermarket might be different; the local restaurant choices might be different; etc.
To some people, like me, some of these "little changes" (maybe a lot of them), would be a really big deal. It can be a lot to take in.
Thank you!

Great post.
This is absolutely true, and it's true of all autistic traits; everybody deals with one or two of them to some degree, some of the time. Severity and frequency are the differentiating factors.

I think I wasn't clear. The reason these little changes matter so much to someone on the spectrum is, as you say, that "other issues" cause it. This is what I meant by the last line in my original post.

For example: When I moved in with my mom a couple years after college, I had to deal with some showering issues: The apartment had a showerhead that was too low for me to comfortably use and that didn't have the pressure I was used to, and I had to put my shampoo, conditioner and body wash bottles on the ground because there was nowhere else to put them, and, also, I no longer had the edge of a tub to put my foot on, which I do so I can clean my legs without bending all the way over, making my long hair fall into my face, which changes the flow of the water and sometimes makes it go up my nose (yeah... that really happens to me in showers). I don't like showers and never have because the feeling of water hitting my skin drives me crazy; I just can't stand it. I clean myself in a strictly ordered way, because doing that is time-efficient and gives me the shortest shower possible.
Now, suddenly, with my bottles on the ground and the showerhead being hard to rinse myself with and with nowhere to prop my leg up, showering got *complicated,* and it started stressing me out, which made the water hitting my skin irritate me more than usual. I almost completely stopped showering for a couple of months, but I eventually got used to the new routine.
Also, because I wasn't showering, I almost completely stopped brushing my teeth; brushing my teeth was part of my shower-exiting ritual and part of my leaving-the-house ritual, and I wasn't doing either of those things, so I wasn't brushing my teeth. I don't like brushing my teeth for sensory reasons, but I do it because I hate knowing that I have bad breath and I (like everyone I know lol) don't like going to the dentist.
To bring my point home, now I have to say that I cannot stand the feeling of being dirty. After going without a shower for about 4 days or going without brushing my teeth for about two days, my mood "breaks" (my own term) and I become... well, cantankerous. I don't always notice what's causing my mood issues, and the longer I go without showering (or brushing my teeth), the more I avoid them, because the sensory issues get to feeling more intense -- so my mood keeps getting worse and worse, which affects everything in my entire life.
See? Little changes can sometimes be a really big deal.

I can relate to that, as I have my own complex shower routines/rituals, and they involve brushing my teeth and all other bathroom operations just as yours do.
I find that when I don't complete something, I become agitated and feel as if the process has being wasted or rendered somewhat ineffective. That's for a multitude of reasons which I won't delve into. It's bad to the point that my least favourite thing about going to uni or elsewhere is the procedures I have to perform prior to leaving (takes an hour or more).
Believe me, I know what you mean when you say that little changes can be a really big deal. I'm not going to elaborate, but yes, I agree with your original post.
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Agreed
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