reactions of disdain from other people

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for those who have asperger related attention issues, do you find that you receive a lot of negative or somewhat negative reactions from people, disdain, irritation annoyance, that sorta thing. you ever notice how when someone can tell that you dont seem to be paying attention to them completely they tend to say (with impatience) "okay" or (with disdain) "right?" know what i mean? it's almost as if somebody thinks that you're stupid or something with reactions like that. i'm wondering if these reactions are more frequent in my case because of my inability to truly connect with other people and my being internally preoccupied virtually all the time. thoughts?

There is a guy in my D&D group that is like that. I sometimes forget the rules or to do things my character is supose to do he actually gets pissy over it. The reaction of the other players is they would say wah, Todesking forgot a rule. wah, now I must yell at him, wah. They love making him sound like a crying baby. I usually just laugh at him for getting bent out shape over a roleplaying game.

My roommate, who is also autistic (not a coincidence) monologues all the time. He does not notice (or chooses not to notice) when I'm bored with what he's saying, even though I give him obvious body language that I am. Sometimes he just starts talking and doesn't notice if I completely ignore him. Sometimes, when I try to speak, he'll say STFU let me speak.


If someone is saying "OK?" as you're stupid, there must have been some miscommunication.

These are my Suggestions to avoid miscommunication (by no means a complete or accurate list):

A) Try to speak clearly and without stuttering

B) Shorter sentences *can convey more emotion. Long-winded, run-on sentences with multiple clauses *can be boring.

C) If you're talking about some obsession of yours, say, how epic Transformers are, make sure they're interested.
And if they're not interested in your obsession, don't keep on bringing it up, no matter how much you like talking about it. You're essentially talking to yourself.

D) Use pauses to signify the end of sentences. Otherwise its just noise. and... and... and... and...

E) Use non-verbal communication. It reduces miscommunication. Of course the schtuff we hate most.
i) Vary the tonality of your voice. A monotonous voice is an emotionless voice. Make sure they know you're not a robot.
ii) Eye contact. Lack thereof says you don't care about what they're saying (even if you know you are listening intently).
iii) Gestures. There are so many that you could use. Its so expansive that its the basis for languages for the deaf. If it can form an entire language, what could it do for you?
iv) Posture. i.e. Even if you like to slouch, it says you're not paying attention, like eye contact.


Truth be told, I probably fail at all of these. Especially E). I'm no expect, just regurgitating what people tell me i do wrong.

Good luck.

I avoid people whenever unnecassary.

I rarely have complaints about other people as I do a rather good job and not being interested enough to fixate on the particulars about their personality and habit. My neighbor's kid likes to scream out the window all day just because he likes to hear himself scream (kindred soul maybe?) and it doesn't really bother me one bit.

I can manage to get along with and possibly even live with most people, provided they leave me alone.

However, I can't live with most people as they usually don't leave me alone. They usually have various complaints about how I go about existing and for one reason or another I seem to get singled out.

Examples:

Them: The electric bill is high because you leave your light on all night.
(it's a 40watt bulb)
Me: No, it's high because everyone else leaves everything on all of the time (like TV's, fans, 100watt bulbs, etc).

Them: Can you stop typing so loud?!
Me: No, that's as soft as the keyboard types. Get earplugs if you don't like it.

Them: Can you clean up your mess in the kitchen?
Me: That's not my mess. I don't use the kitchen. (They assume I make all the messes because my room is chaotically organized).

Them: Stop leaving your crap all over the house.
Me: And what of everyone elses crap?

So people tend to have issues with how I go about things even if it does not directly enroach on them, and I can only take being micromanaged so much. So I generally can't live with most people.

noo actually it's not "okay?" with a question mark. with a period. just "ok".. but said with haste, pressured speech, impatience and such.

I find that I annoy a lot of superficial people with things about myself, that I can't help.

Ugh, that's so rude. Have you tried introducing him to some of your steps? I mean, just to help him learn some skills, for his benefit and yours. I know it wouldn't be easy, but autism isn't an excuse to be so nasty about it that you'd tell someone to "STFU".