Feeling wired and bored

Post Reply New Topic

I just have to keep getting up and doing things, but nothing is worth doing. I hate when I feel like this.

ABSOLUTE 100% SAME. UGHHH
I haven't had school in over a month, and I've felt consistently awful about it. I constantly want to do things, but I can't find the right things to do, nothing interests me etc. I try to read my schoolbooks for Fall term (and I usually love reading textbooks) but I end up getting distracted because I crave constant multi-track mental stimulation whenever I'm like this. But if I ever pursue that craving, the s(h)ituation gets even worse--especially whenever I find social networking sites or forums, because I'll just sit there and read/gather information for basically half the day. And then I become horribly overstimulated, kind of chagrin, I get migraines, I forget to eat and that just continues the process, and wow everything just gets f**ked up.
It really annoys me to realize just how much I desperately need a constant "schedule" and set deadlines in order to feel pleased with life. I need school or work to survive as a rationally functioning and relatively healthy human being. I'll be occasionally upset during the school term for whatever reason, but I'd take almost anything over how I feel during vacations. I rarely feel worse than I do when I have a break. My brain just tears itself apart.

ughhhhhH maybe we should just challenge each other/ourselves to do something interesting/cool.
I've been wanting to make some life-sized plaster sculptures of ancient raptors, but I've just not had the inspiration or energy to do it. :/

I wonder what the problem is? Is this a normal psychological state? Is it depression? Is it something else?

I experience a similar set of problems almost daily. Most of my anxiousness and dread occurs during the daylight hours until it's nighttime. Only as a night owl am I afforded some mental stability, but I am still unable to commit to "bigger picture" things. There's no structure, no routine, no expectations. I've tried to expect things of myself with lists, but I just override it until I flounder in a I-want-to-do-everything-all-at-once-but-I-end-up-doing-nothing state. I've not tried medication yet to help with the attention problems.

I usually gravitate towards intense input, like video games, film, and music. I was compulsively doing word searches as a way to stay sane. I realize now that most of the video games I played during adolescence were very structured, methodical ways of having something to do with clearcut objectives and tangibility. Right now, I hear crickets outside, cars in the distance, my keyboard clacking, and a paper shredder running in the same house. These things have distracted me more than once during the making of this post, and I've had to restart sentences several times.

If I don't stimulate myself with something chunky, like video games or music, I either ruminate or idle restlessly. I relive past conversations, create imaginary situations and conversations, and sometimes I feel as if my head is splitting.

So structure is very important, yet I have none of it and spin my wheels.

This is something new for me. I haven't had these issues before I started going on disability in April/May after receiving the disappointing news that my insurance was saying that sex reassignment surgery was excluded--which has not been resolved, because I'm fighting their decision. Since then, I've been having problems with motivation.

I just went to a DBSA group to ask for resources, but didn't stay because of the social anxiety. They had a relevant topic: The role of boredom and busyness in depression, but I left without saying anything because I didn't know what to say.

It makes wakefulness painful.

With my job, I had structure, but now that structure is gone. I've tried returning over the past month, but I couldn't stay on the shifts, so now I'm back on disability. I hope I can get over this and get back to my job or step safely over to something like SSDI.

Depression can leave you feeling like that.

I feel the same now that night has settled in.

Same things happen to me. I had an awful "break up" about two months back, and even though I've rationalized my reasons for feeling perfectly fine with never looking back at the guy, whenever I get mentally "spinning in place" like this, all the negative sh*t just mentally appears periodically throughout the day. I was really pleasantly surprised with myself, though, because after sending my previous post, I was able to move on to some positive thoughts, and even though I had to rest from a stress-induced stomach upset, I could tell I was getting more "on-track" and less mentally cluttered/upset. I think that realizing how much these things effect me negatively really helps me to "get off my ass" and actually /do/ something. No matter what, I have to remember to just partake in actions, even if I don't feel like I can do them at the time. It is truly difficult to do, sometimes, but I just have to force myself into a better attitude I guess.
I do admit that I consistently think/feel better in the nighttime, though. No matter where I am, in school or not, it's just much more lovely for me, for the most part.


I've noticed that depression can have a lot to do with it. Then again, loss of structure/meaning and frustrations over those matters can lead to depression, which can just create a cyclical effect. Personally, I'm really having to watch myself, because I'm almost starting to get depressed and I haven't had that sort of mindset in over two years. Except for when I have vacations. haha ahhh


I truly hope that things get better for you, as well. Your intense feelings of frustration/upset could possibly be used to help with the motivation process, but then again that's something I would do, not what works best for you. Your insurance company sounds like sh*t, though. Sending many good wills your way.

Sometimes I like routine sometimes I don't. When I don't, this is what I feel like.

I can totally agree with this. I couldn't work within the routine of going to work, but now I'm lost, without a routine.

I'm having a lot of anxiety over my food stamps application, because I do not know if I should put down female as my sex (which matches Social Security) or male as my sex (which matches my driver's license). I'm worried that I didn't update my Social Security correctly. I remember getting a letter saying the sex was changed to female, but I've lost that letter and so have lost that reassurance.

I am so nervous and anxious right now.

I feel better after sleeping.

Well, I got some knee braces to reduce the pain of exercising, as it would always make my knees hurt. They felt a lot better!

Maybe if I get daily exercise in, my mood will improve.

I had to pay for those knee braces, though. My credit card is run up and money is tight. I got lucky by having my benefits refunded to me, but I hope that I can start getting money on my short-term disability coming in soon.

Or let's hope that exercise is the panacea that gets me back to work full-time.

Now I have ice cream cravings!

I feel extremely bored today. Nothing is enjoyable. My parents are tired of me. Seems like nothing to do but brood.