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Qotg
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 12 Dec 2017
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 2
Location: London

12 Dec 2017, 4:40 pm

I'm new here, empathy itself is a terrible subject for me, because I just can't put myself into other people's shoes. From what I understand, it isn't due to anything, I've been this way all my life. I don't get what to do when someone is crying, so I do nothing myself, other than getting someone who understands how to act, but, I've found that is "unacceptable". I have been told that the way I act is wrong, because it hurts them, and I just can't explain it to them that I just don't get other people's feelings. It really confounds me that one person had to come up to me and tell me that they need me to make connections and "learn how to empathise" since it's not easy for me, and they seem to think I should get this immediately.



Dear_one
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Feb 2008
Age: 77
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,721
Location: Where the Great Plains meet the Northern Pines

14 Dec 2017, 8:02 am

I did pretty well just making sure I had all the logical points covered when communicating with the general public, with a sauce of "please" and "thank yous," etc. However, the Golden Rule wasn't always enough to keep me out of trouble. On TV's "The Big Bang Theory" Sheldon is sometimes seen trying to comfort others, using his best guess at an appropriate script. It is not effective, but at least they stop expecting him to help.
Perhaps you could explain "I'd really like to help, but nobody ever comforted me when I felt that way, so I usually make it worse."