02 Aug 2014, 9:49 am
KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK
02 Aug 2014, 9:58 am
02 Aug 2014, 10:01 am
02 Aug 2014, 10:19 am
02 Aug 2014, 10:25 am
02 Aug 2014, 10:25 am
02 Aug 2014, 10:42 am
02 Aug 2014, 1:44 pm
*offers virtual hug*
You have every right to dislike your circumstances; life has its cruelties about it, and one cannot be faulted for noticing and being affected by such. Rejection and depression are two of the deepest-cutting cruelties of all, and it is not at all unusual that you feel so hopeless.
That being said, not all is hopeless. No matter how uncoordinated, how unsocial, how [insert perceived flaw here] you are, you do have hopes for friendship, for romance, and for a fulfilling life.
It may seem impossible to believe in the mist of such depression and rejection, but there are people out there who will cherish and accept you for the person you are, Asperger's, faults, and everything. They may not always seem to be in great abundance, but they are there. Some individuals find our often brutal honesty to be refreshing; some find our occasional "randomness" to be intriguing; some find it beneficial to befriend or even romantically partner with somebody who has such a different view of the world than do they (or maybe a not-so-different view of the world: with 1-2 percent, if not more, of the population having an autistic spectrum disorder, running into somebody who has the same "problems" and difficulties as you is actually somewhat likely; my boyfriend and I are both medically-and-socially-certified oddballs, and we still found hope in each other).
Would it be possible for you to start up or join a Math Club of some sort? It can be easier to make friends within the structured realm of club activities and meetings (a volunteer club is where I made most of my friends during this past year at college).
Here is a quote that might bring you some cheer:
?Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.?
― Bernard M. Baruch (though Dr. Seuss had also said this at one point)
Despite my apparent all-is-rainbows-and-butterflies-naive, stereotypic-of-TV-sitcoms optimism, I do occasionally feel upset that I am not more optimally primed for the world I live in. I often bemoan my inadequacies and the burdens that I seem to place on others. Some days, I even loathe myself to the very core. I think that most people, regardless of their abilities and disabilities, mourn their lack of perfection and their many flaws, for it seems to be human nature to desire to be better than we actually are and to feel upset when we cannot achieve this perfection we seek.
That said, I just don't have the energy to hate myself all of the time; hatred and despair wear me out, and I am not one with high energy reserves to begin with. Some of us seem not to be upset about our afflictions because we have to focus on that one time a day we feel successful and useful instead of the one hundred times a day we feel like failures just to make it through (though I do acknowledge that your depression would make doing such extremely difficult).
I wish you the utmost peace, happiness, and success in your life.
02 Aug 2014, 2:06 pm
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
02 Aug 2014, 2:23 pm
I was with you on the first part, well, as much as I can relate to it because of how I used to be.. but then you lost me at "permanent" and "incurable."
If you hate AS enough to do something about it for yourself, read the link in my sig. It's how I've managed to treat myself over the last couple of years with pretty significant positive results. No more depression, anxiety, coordination issues, sensory issues.. and I feel significantly more intuitively connected to the social realm.. and so on.
Feel free to PM if you have any questions.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
02 Aug 2014, 2:34 pm
02 Aug 2014, 3:11 pm
02 Aug 2014, 3:13 pm
You have every right to dislike your circumstances; life has its cruelties about it, and one cannot be faulted for noticing and being affected by such. Rejection and depression are two of the deepest-cutting cruelties of all, and it is not at all unusual that you feel so hopeless.
That being said, not all is hopeless. No matter how uncoordinated, how unsocial, how [insert perceived flaw here] you are, you do have hopes for friendship, for romance, and for a fulfilling life.
It may seem impossible to believe in the mist of such depression and rejection, but there are people out there who will cherish and accept you for the person you are, Asperger's, faults, and everything. They may not always seem to be in great abundance, but they are there. Some individuals find our often brutal honesty to be refreshing; some find our occasional "randomness" to be intriguing; some find it beneficial to befriend or even romantically partner with somebody who has such a different view of the world than do they (or maybe a not-so-different view of the world: with 1-2 percent, if not more, of the population having an autistic spectrum disorder, running into somebody who has the same "problems" and difficulties as you is actually somewhat likely; my boyfriend and I are both medically-and-socially-certified oddballs, and we still found hope in each other).
Would it be possible for you to start up or join a Math Club of some sort? It can be easier to make friends within the structured realm of club activities and meetings (a volunteer club is where I made most of my friends during this past year at college).
Here is a quote that might bring you some cheer:
?Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.?
― Bernard M. Baruch (though Dr. Seuss had also said this at one point)
Despite my apparent all-is-rainbows-and-butterflies-naive, stereotypic-of-TV-sitcoms optimism, I do occasionally feel upset that I am not more optimally primed for the world I live in. I often bemoan my inadequacies and the burdens that I seem to place on others. Some days, I even loathe myself to the very core. I think that most people, regardless of their abilities and disabilities, mourn their lack of perfection and their many flaws, for it seems to be human nature to desire to be better than we actually are and to feel upset when we cannot achieve this perfection we seek.
That said, I just don't have the energy to hate myself all of the time; hatred and despair wear me out, and I am not one with high energy reserves to begin with. Some of us seem not to be upset about our afflictions because we have to focus on that one time a day we feel successful and useful instead of the one hundred times a day we feel like failures just to make it through (though I do acknowledge that your depression would make doing such extremely difficult).
I wish you the utmost peace, happiness, and success in your life.
Thanks, hey maybe the people I am looking for don't live around here so I could try to getting to know others online first. I can't join a Math Club as there are none around here.
02 Aug 2014, 3:57 pm
