Being able to control your behavior is empowering

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I learned this in high school. In elementary and middle school, I had major problems with challenging behaviors, which were frustrating for both me and other people, until I turned 14 and became psychotic. I was put on a high dose of an antipsychotic, which helped it out. But in the years ahead, I found that I could better think through the consequences of my actions, allowing me to reformulate my behavior. I could actually stop myself from losing control.

Whether that was the Zyprexa making my thoughts more coherent (as early records showed problems with cognitive disorganization), maturation, or what, I don't know, but when I could actually make it in a normal classroom, that I could go to college, and get a job, a huge part due to being able to control myself, it was very empowering.

I didn't start controlling my behavior until 6th grade. I don't know what happened but all of a sudden I could stop and hold it all in and not let myself do things. I think maturity may have had something to do with it and perhaps development.

I started controlling my behavior at age 13-14 too. In my case it was a positive result of me getting schizoid-like (I was a classic example of the "8th grade syndrome").
Together with the delusions that I am a supernatural being there come responsibility. I realized I cannot lose control over my emotions anymore or I end up hurting someone because of my "power". So I had to learn self-control. And I did.