Dish washing

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How do most of you do with dish washing (by hand)? I'm up to about 80% of the time having the dishes done well enough for my wife. I actually sometimes start to put a dish away and notices it really isn't clean, so reluctantly I do it again. My daughter, 17, just doesn't do them very often and we haven't pushed because her accuracy level is more like 40% and it's just not worth the angst. But I wonder, in a year or two with roommates and eventually a mate, how will she cope? Maybe she should just insist on a dishwasher, but even there you have to rinse them, depending on the quality of the machine. Liza had about 4 mos. of OT and then was told she didn't need it any more. Is there OT for adults? Thanks, all.

We have a dishwasher but wash the pots and pans by hand (they take up too much space in the dishwasher) as well as wash delicate glassware by hand.

I'm pretty good at it and as long as I'm not pressed for time I enjoy doing the dishes as I like the feeling of my hands in the warm water.

Their is OT for adults where I live but it can be a long waiting list.

I have a dishwasher and I never use it. I almost never eat from a bowl or plate. I have one frying pan and one boiling pan and I just eat directly out of. when I am done, I just get my sponge wand with soap injector and give the pan a quick scrub and rinse after I eat and that's it. I never mass enough dirty dishes to justify using the dishwasher anyways.

I agree, and when we had a dishwasher, briefly, kids were little but mostly used it for a drying rack -- and then only for that when it broke. My wife gets very bothered when I eat out of a pot -- but isn't it more efficient, as long as you don't burn the table/floor or yourself?

I'm a perfectionist when I clean a dish, and it always winds up 100% pristine. But it's because I'm such a perfectionist that I actually procrastinate, and let dishes and coffee mugs pile up next to the sink. When it reaches that crisis point, I'm only ever washing the dish or mug or fork I need to use for the meal I'm about to have.

Then every so often I'm so upset at the mess that I finally clean everything, put all the dishes away, and feel proud of myself for having a clear space again.

Then all it takes is a few bad days in a row, a depression, a very stressful work-week, or too much enforced socializing........and I feel too overwhelmed to do anything but sit around avoiding tasks, and I just cannot make myself wash anything I use after I've used it, like a normal person. And the piling-up starts over again....

I'm not happy with this cycle, but I'm aware of what triggers my neglect and what helps me stay on top of it. Can't always control those triggers though...

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I guess the "spectrum" is a spectrum. I tend toward saying, "good enough" if I can't or don't get a spot off a dish. My wife, not on the spectrum, and not a perfectionist about most things, tends to be closer to one with dishes. I've learned, do a few, do them really well. She likes that much better than getting most, or all, done meiocre-ly; unless, or course, I or my daughter is doing all the food prep in which she never sees the sloppily done pots.

I hate washing dishes by hand: my tactile and olfactory sensitivities make sticking my hands in grimy water that smells like food a nightmare. When I was a kid it used to make me physically gag, but these days I can mostly get by as long as I scrub my hands well afterward. There was a period of several years where the dishwashers at both my (divorced) parents' houses were broken, so I had to hand-wash the dishes all the time, and I hated it. I even have trouble loading the dishwasher with dirty dishes that have been sitting in the sink; I'd sooner take virtually any chore apart from that.

When I lived by myself for a year and a half, I would wait until there were a few dirty dishes before I would start washing them. It was about every few days and I would fill the sink and do the silverware and the plates first and then the cups and bowls. I had a dry rack and used a towel too to set the bigger dishes on. Now I just use a dishwasher. More people, more dishes so I rinse the food off them and put them in the dishwasher. Then when I can't fit anymore on top or bottom, I put in the soap and turn it on. I never had the water hot though, only warm and I always made sure all the soap was off and every single dirt. I also soaked them too if I couldn't get it all off.

My ex boyfriend ate out of pans and mixing bowls and ruined one of them by staining it with spaghetti sauce, and he also ate out of storage food containers. I found it weird but didn't make a big deal of it. It was harmless. Just as long as it was his own food for himself than for both of us. I would be disturbed if someone was eating out of a pan and the food was for everyone. But if there wasn't much left and it was only enough for one person, then that is fine. I do the same thing.

Since we have the dishwasher I don't wash dishes by hands but I don't remember having any problem with it. Actually washing dishes was my house chore since I was 8 years old or so. Even as such little child I was doing it just fine. I was making sure dishes are clean before putting them on dryer. Noone teached me this, actually I was the one telling my parents they do it wrong and begging for better sponge and a washing-up liquid because they didn't care, they were thinking just rinsing dishes with water was enough...

But I am very happy that we have dishwasher now. I never liked the feeling on my hands after washing the dishes. Staying in soapy water for too long is not good for your skin. And washing dishes was just a huge waste of time.
However I still make sure dishes are clean after taking them off the dishwasher and if they are not clean enough I put them back in. I often nag my mom about it. She is very impatient so she takes them off before I can (I hate touching hot dishes so I wait till the dishwasher gets cold, it takes hours) and I often find dirty dishes in the cabinet. It makes me angry. I mean - its not that hard to LOOK at the dishes when you take them off. I can't imagine how possible I couldn't realize a dish is dirty. So why doesn't she?
Also, there is another thing that pisses me off. I have a system of putting dishes in dishwasher so it is easier to take them off later. I often tell my mom how she should put dishes in - but in the end they are always out of order. She just can't get it. "Impossible" - she says. What exactly is impossible? Big swallow dishes back-left, small swallow dishes back-right, deep dishes front-left, what doesn't fit - front-right. How is it hard? It is easy and effective since each dish has enough space for the water to get between them! But no. She must put the dishes in randomly and make deep dish bottom touching swallow small front and wasting 2 spots...

My mom taught me how to do the dishes by hovering over me and scolding me if they weren't perfect, which they usually weren't because I kept missing the bottoms for a long time... but at some point, my OCD caught hold of it, and started really OVER-cleaning dishes -- and wasting water.

So, while I don't recommend the hovering-and-scolding training method LoL I WAS able to learn to clean dishes. She can be taught!

I've been thinking about this topic more, and I think the best way to learn to do dishes is to have your own kitchen.

I didn't even realize that I was perfectionistically over cleaning dishes until I had been living in my own place for a few months, and this was when I was 26.

This is probably not a very helpful comment on a practical level.

I am really bad about letting dirty dishes pile up. I try to stay caught up with it but it's so uncomfortable. It hurts my back. And it's boring. And putting my hands in hot water makes me feel like I'm having a hot flash from hell. And I can't stand the feeling of scraping old food off of plates and putting my hands in filmy water. I have tried wearing gloves but I didn't like the way that felt either and besides I couldn't tell if the dishes felt clean enough or not. I am a perfectionist about getting them clean. I prewash everything under running water to get all the food particles off before I actually fill up the sink and dunk them in hot water. I don't have a dishwasher and have never used one, I wouldn't even know how to use one.

I wash by hand because it's just the two of us so there are not a ton of dishes. And when I cook I wash the dishes as I go. I don't ever let them sit because I can't stand dirty dishes laying around. I do run the dishwasher every now and then though because it is good to do that to keep it running well. But for the most part I use it as a dish rack. If I have a situation, like we had a pipe leak above the kitchen, whose bright idea was it to put bathrooms and toilets above kitchens???? But anyway, water leaked through the second floor and then through the kitchen ceiling tiles and since the cabinet doors don't seal the cabinets, that water got in with dirt from the sub floor and ceiling above. So I had to clean and disinfect the cabinets and every thing in them. So I used the dishwasher to clean everything that was dishwasher safe. That way I could do it quickly and run that super hot water and steam on the dishes to sanitize them. But for just normal dish washing I just do it by hand.

But your daughter really should learn to wash dishes. Not every apartment or house comes with a dishwasher and they can also break down. And they are not inexpensive. It's a good skill for her to learn. I know some people who could not wash a dish by hand to save their lives and that is not a good thing.

People don't know how to dishes? I never really had to learn how. I had seen people do it so I knew to fill up the sink and put in dish soap and wash using a rag and rinse off and dry and put away. But I do have a funny story that I filled up both sinks and put in way too much soap so there were tons of bubbles and the bubbles were flying all over. My dad should have gotten a picture of it. That was about the first time I did it by hand when our dishwasher was broken. Then I was told how much to actually put in.