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russiank12
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21 Aug 2014, 12:49 am

I had to tell one of my professors that I have accommodations and she pretty much forced me to tell here what was 'wrong' with me. I told her I'm autistic and this was the first time I've told anybody I haven't known for most of my life. She said, "Wow, you're so high-functioning!! !!" and patted me on the back (which I HATE!). Then, today she saw that I completed all my homework and said, "Wow, good job! You did really well!" in a really childish voice and to the rest of the class she just passed by and said nothing. I feel that she is treating me like I'm a child or have a learning disability and it's really annoying me. I've only been in her class for two days so maybe she will see I am a very competent person. What can I do to stop this if she doesn't see? And how have others treated you?



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21 Aug 2014, 1:15 am

print her off some handouts on aspergers/HFA,that might help with getting some understanding.

am very obviously disabled [regardless of being a wheelchair user] so get patronised by anyone that we come across in the community,have always been used to it,its just part of the job.

am regulary treated like do not exist and people speak around self to the support staff or family,where they shoud at least acknowledge existance,the worst one is when people have said to staff 'its a shame' when they hear of the autism & ID,no its not am living a good quality of life with them due to having good support.

yesterday was treated like did not exist or any say in a matter; at nine am,two blokes finaly called around [no phonecall] to fit a 'tough furniture' cabinet to the wall in bedroom and was asleep in bed at the time; in just a sports bra and nappy.
woke up in a massive panic from their banging and surprise visit,fell off the bed ,self injured on the wall and hit out at them because was in so much overload, the workers never even stopped they carried on using heavy duty drills right next to self- did not exist to them,fking unbelievable.

have got two support staff but one of them was busy showing around the parents and social worker of a possible new resident and the other was aparently running around in the hall not knowing what to do,asking them to wait while and letting the resident get changed and out of the room woud have been helpful.


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>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
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auntblabby
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21 Aug 2014, 1:37 am

I was either picked on/bullied, or totally ignored like I was invisible. often I was discussed in my presence as though I wasn't even there.



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21 Aug 2014, 2:56 am

russiank12 wrote:
I had to tell one of my professors that I have accommodations and she pretty much forced me to tell here what was 'wrong' with me. I told her I'm autistic and this was the first time I've told anybody I haven't known for most of my life. She said, "Wow, you're so high-functioning!! !!" and patted me on the back (which I HATE!). Then, today she saw that I completed all my homework and said, "Wow, good job! You did really well!" in a really childish voice and to the rest of the class she just passed by and said nothing. I feel that she is treating me like I'm a child or have a learning disability and it's really annoying me. I've only been in her class for two days so maybe she will see I am a very competent person. What can I do to stop this if she doesn't see? And how have others treated you?


That sounds a lot like how I was treated in primary and secondary school by certain teachers. My head of year in Years 10 and 11 and the assistant headteacher drove me to the brink of sanity. However, I did not attend a special school but a state school instead where they knew very little about disabilities. They would speak to me in childish voices but would address my peers normally; they would try to force eye contact with me; patted me and got overexcited if I achieved something good; they kept a close eye on me as if I were a toddler and they would rarely let me make my own decisions which I disliked a lot.

Have you tried having a private chat with her and explaining your needs to her? I did that with a substitute teacher and she became aware of my needs and treated me like the rest of the class.



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21 Aug 2014, 3:58 am

I don't want to make anyone feel bad, but how could this NOT be a person with some kind of PD? how is this not a person that is beginning to create a victim mentality of somekind? How is this not baiting? Maybe some conformation bias in there somewhere. Perhaps adult grooming? Hyper vigilance? Identity disturbance? Manipulation? Triggering? And that other one I cannot remember the name of when a narcissist treats you, and talks to you like a child.

Could be wrong but I'm just saying. Congratulations! Your college may be paying a teacher who has a personality disorder, and you are paying to deal with her. My only question to you is, is it worth it?

The best way to deal with a person like this is to do nothing about it, and get away from her as quickly as you can. It may take years. Otherwise she may make things worse for you. However if you are up for the challenge of getting her to treat you like an actual human being, than go for it. Good luck!

By telling a person like this that you have a neurological disorder, is saying too much. She probably sees it as a disability. You did not tell her that either. She extracted it from you.


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21 Aug 2014, 4:28 am

yournamehere,
that is a bit over the top,people do not have personality disorders because they patronise the crap out of someone, if thats true then every human have ever come across in the community must be personality disordered,which really isnt true.
patronising is done through ignorance,have had support staff in the past who were highly patronising at the start as they had never worked with someone with severe classic autism before and only knew the stereotypes,they eventualy became a favoured support staff of mine and are now highly knowledgeable of autism in all its forms and colours.


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>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


yournamehere
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21 Aug 2014, 5:07 am

Well I think they do have one for behaving that way, and you cannot make me believe otherwise. If someone wants to be ignorant, and project a negative view towards you, about you, I cannot see ANY other way to describe it. This is a strange and unhealthy behavior. It can make me, and others sick. It is a behavior that is wrong, and rarely changes. they know full well what they are doing, and why (it makes sence to them). This is not your typical natural bull elephant, butts heads with the teenage elephant in order to get him to stop picking on the little animals, and wrecking the trees type of scenario. If she is playing a "who's the boss" game, than her tact is all out of whack. It is disordered.

I am happy for you to have such a positive support structure. of course as you said it did not come without some form of change, or training on both parts I'm sure. It should show you how people were just brought up wrong. With disorders like a chain going back thousands of years. Hundreds of generations, and beyond.

I am not without serious flaws either. Some things, and some people never change.

Dealing with behaviors like this are my biggest weakness. I want to fix it. It's broke. I think it is wrong. You usually can't fix things like this. unfortunately.


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Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Bruce Lee.


iRunforfun
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21 Aug 2014, 5:44 am

Everytime I tell an NT that I have autism, they don't believe me. I've had undiagnosed Autism for almost 23 years... therefore I've built myself a LOT of compensation mechanisms, to the point where I think I do a pretty good job of hiding my Aspie quirks... usually.

I also find NTs frustrating to speak with as they almost NEVER understand what I'm trying to say. I also find a majority of people to be oblivious, insensitive and rude. Maybe it's just an NT thing. I don't know.

I hate generalizing people though :(



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21 Aug 2014, 6:08 am

iRunforfun wrote:
Everytime I tell an NT that I have autism, they don't believe me. I've had undiagnosed Autism for almost 23 years... therefore I've built myself a LOT of compensation mechanisms, to the point where I think I do a pretty good job of hiding my Aspie quirks... usually.

I also find NTs frustrating to speak with as they almost NEVER understand what I'm trying to say. I also find a majority of people to be oblivious, insensitive and rude. Maybe it's just an NT thing. I don't know.

I hate generalizing people though :(


I see an error.

It says your age is 22. That would mean you were undiagnosed at -1 ? :wink:


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Bruce Lee.


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21 Aug 2014, 7:01 am

russiank12 wrote:
I had to tell one of my professors that I have accommodations and she pretty much forced me to tell here what was 'wrong' with me. I told her I'm autistic and this was the first time I've told anybody I haven't known for most of my life. She said, "Wow, you're so high-functioning!! !!" and patted me on the back (which I HATE!). Then, today she saw that I completed all my homework and said, "Wow, good job! You did really well!" in a really childish voice and to the rest of the class she just passed by and said nothing. I feel that she is treating me like I'm a child or have a learning disability and it's really annoying me. I've only been in her class for two days so maybe she will see I am a very competent person. What can I do to stop this if she doesn't see? And how have others treated you?


That's one the reasons that i avoid to tell people about it.
I remember that the only time that i said to one guy from my college about it he started to try to "translate" almost everything that i heard and he was asking me ALL THE TIME if i was understanding completely what he or somebody else was saying. The only way that i've found to make him stop was by talking to him about it again and explaining better what kind of things may sound confusing to me nowadays and what kind of things could disturbs me.
So i think that if you're going to tell someone about your autism and just say that "you have it" you will end up in awkward situations like this one (that's why i decided to not tell anymore unless it's completely necessary). If she don't stop acting this way you should just tell her that this is upsetting you.



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21 Aug 2014, 7:44 am

yournamehere wrote:
Well I think they do have one for behaving that way, and you cannot make me believe otherwise. If someone wants to be ignorant, and project a negative view towards you, about you, I cannot see ANY other way to describe it. This is a strange and unhealthy behavior. It can make me, and others sick. It is a behavior that is wrong, and rarely changes. they know full well what they are doing, and why (it makes sence to them). This is not your typical natural bull elephant, butts heads with the teenage elephant in order to get him to stop picking on the little animals, and wrecking the trees type of scenario. If she is playing a "who's the boss" game, than her tact is all out of whack. It is disordered.

I am happy for you to have such a positive support structure. of course as you said it did not come without some form of change, or training on both parts I'm sure. It should show you how people were just brought up wrong. With disorders like a chain going back thousands of years. Hundreds of generations, and beyond.

I am not without serious flaws either. Some things, and some people never change.

Dealing with behaviors like this are my biggest weakness. I want to fix it. It's broke. I think it is wrong. You usually can't fix things like this. unfortunately.

fair point,we all have our own perception of things and am not going to argue against that.
am in agreement about the behaviors and do hate them, but am not sure how personality disorder can explain this behavior for every patronising oaf am coming across,as that woud put the levels of PD people at a very high rate,surely full blown PDs are a lot rarer to come across.


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>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


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21 Aug 2014, 7:54 am

I'm sorry you had to go through what you went through with that cabinet installer, KOR

Hugely insensitive on their part!

Did your care team know about the visit of the cabinet installer? If so, a huge mistake on their part for not telling you ahead of time



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21 Aug 2014, 7:59 am

I have not yet reached a point where I divide the world between NT's and the neurodiverse. I grew up in a NT world and live and work every day of my life in an NT world. There are some nice people and some nasty people and some, perhaps many who are a mix of good and bad. I just don't see the NT world as something different from just the world - since they do in fact make up the vast overwhelming majority and always will.


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Last edited by r2d2 on 21 Aug 2014, 8:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

yournamehere
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21 Aug 2014, 8:30 am

KingdomOfRats wrote:
yournamehere wrote:
Well I think they do have one for behaving that way, and you cannot make me believe otherwise. If someone wants to be ignorant, and project a negative view towards you, about you, I cannot see ANY other way to describe it. This is a strange and unhealthy behavior. It can make me, and others sick. It is a behavior that is wrong, and rarely changes. they know full well what they are doing, and why (it makes sence to them). This is not your typical natural bull elephant, butts heads with the teenage elephant in order to get him to stop picking on the little animals, and wrecking the trees type of scenario. If she is playing a "who's the boss" game, than her tact is all out of whack. It is disordered.

I am happy for you to have such a positive support structure. of course as you said it did not come without some form of change, or training on both parts I'm sure. It should show you how people were just brought up wrong. With disorders like a chain going back thousands of years. Hundreds of generations, and beyond.

I am not without serious flaws either. Some things, and some people never change.

Dealing with behaviors like this are my biggest weakness. I want to fix it. It's broke. I think it is wrong. You usually can't fix things like this. unfortunately.

fair point,we all have our own perception of things and am not going to argue against that.
am in agreement about the behaviors and do hate them, but am not sure how personality disorder can explain this behavior for every patronising oaf am coming across,as that woud put the levels of PD people at a very high rate,surely full blown PDs are a lot rarer to come across.


My thoughts about it are extreme. From all the problems I have had with people, I believe the definition of PD's are vastly understated, and the statistical ratios. Especially if you consider how well documented it is for these people to hide it. Just watch the news, and wonder who would make such a thing, and how many enjoy watching it. Even something as "good" as sports is really just just another form of escape to fantasy for most. Just another part of the PD supply. Catastrophizing, chaos manufaturing, circular conversations, and many other things. All in there. Every day. Completely sociopathic manufacturing. Like a plague of projection transference and control. IT'S EVERYWHERE.

I must be crazy. I need therapy.


_________________
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.

Bruce Lee.


Spectacles
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21 Aug 2014, 10:04 am

yournamehere wrote:
KingdomOfRats wrote:
yournamehere wrote:
Well I think they do have one for behaving that way, and you cannot make me believe otherwise. If someone wants to be ignorant, and project a negative view towards you, about you, I cannot see ANY other way to describe it. This is a strange and unhealthy behavior. It can make me, and others sick. It is a behavior that is wrong, and rarely changes. they know full well what they are doing, and why (it makes sence to them). This is not your typical natural bull elephant, butts heads with the teenage elephant in order to get him to stop picking on the little animals, and wrecking the trees type of scenario. If she is playing a "who's the boss" game, than her tact is all out of whack. It is disordered.

I am happy for you to have such a positive support structure. of course as you said it did not come without some form of change, or training on both parts I'm sure. It should show you how people were just brought up wrong. With disorders like a chain going back thousands of years. Hundreds of generations, and beyond.

I am not without serious flaws either. Some things, and some people never change.

Dealing with behaviors like this are my biggest weakness. I want to fix it. It's broke. I think it is wrong. You usually can't fix things like this. unfortunately.

fair point,we all have our own perception of things and am not going to argue against that.
am in agreement about the behaviors and do hate them, but am not sure how personality disorder can explain this behavior for every patronising oaf am coming across,as that woud put the levels of PD people at a very high rate,surely full blown PDs are a lot rarer to come across.


My thoughts about it are extreme. From all the problems I have had with people, I believe the definition of PD's are vastly understated, and the statistical ratios. Especially if you consider how well documented it is for these people to hide it. Just watch the news, and wonder who would make such a thing, and how many enjoy watching it. Even something as "good" as sports is really just just another form of escape to fantasy for most. Just another part of the PD supply. Catastrophizing, chaos manufaturing, circular conversations, and many other things. All in there. Every day. Completely sociopathic manufacturing. Like a plague of projection transference and control. IT'S EVERYWHERE.

I must be crazy. I need therapy.


I thought of this after reading your post. http://ideas.time.com/2012/05/04/is-racism-an-illness/
Prejudice in general is based on holding incorrect views/thinking about a whole group of people, which makes medicalizing supporting behaviors and beliefs appealing (if it's wrong, then it can be fixed). But these views don't just exist in the minds/brains of individuals. This is a systemic problem, like you've pointed out, that manifests itself in the way media constructs views, by the way individual cultures explain and thus treat social differences, by what cultures value (an objectified, starving, apersonal runway model vs an awesome, caring, overweight person, or extroversion/appearance of confidence vs sincere, reserved skepticism), etc. It's really f****d up how a lot of people here (present poster included) have been mistreated by others, and that needs to change. It's frustrating, but I've found compassion and patience education (which might be the same thing) to be the most effective ways of producing that change on a personal level. Though becoming a grump and refusing to deal with societies' s**t is another strategy that looks quite appealing at times (this one works for lots of people as well).