How to respond?

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I'm not sure if this is an Aspie trait or something else, but often when I speak to people, I can recognize that a response may be interpreted as rude or inappropriate, but unless I get it out, the words run in loops through my head and prohibit me from thinking of any other response. If it's something that really doesn't merit a response (like correcting someone that snakes can be venomous, but no snake is poisonous), I've learned to just not say anything. However, if someone has asked me a direct question, I just don't know what to say except the one thing that is circling my brain. Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with it? Do you think it's better to just say what I'm thinking, even if I can recognize that it's rude, or to say nothing?

I know what you mean; people do tend to get irritated by people who correct them. There's an implication that the corrector thinks he/she is "more intelligent" than the correctee--whether this is actually true or not.

Correcting a person might embarrass the correctee in front of his/her company. People in the "mainstream" usually are very conscious, unfortunately, of their "image," and their status within a given group.

I think most people wouldn't mind it if you stated the difference between "venomous" and "poisonous," rather than correcting them directly.

"Poisonous" might not be technically correct--but it is used to make people aware of the dangers of venomous snakes by expressing it in language which most people could understand.

I don't experience what you're talking about, but if someone asks you a direct question and you say nothing, silence might be interpreted as rudeness. Or they might start pestering you (people pester me when I'm silent because I can't think of words fast enough to answer them, or at all).

Could you train yourself to say generic responses, like, "Let me think about that" and answer the person's question later when the loop in your head has stopped? (Does it ever stop?)

I could try the "Let me think about that" approach, but I think I might just forget entirely. Lately I've just been saying "I'm not sure how to respond to that." At least with my husband. With other people, I'm still really uncomfortable.

The loops are situational. If I am in a heated argument, they do not stop unless I am distracted by something. I have gone on a drive for an hour and the loop is still there. I get stuck. If it's not such an emotional conversation, I may still get loops, but it's much easier to move on from them.

I used to have this problem. Now I can usually just give one of my generic and automatic responses.

I think you should say whatever feels appropriate at the time.