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MsTriste
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05 Mar 2007, 5:55 pm

Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognized yourself?

I've avoided mirrors my whole life, in part due to the dismay I feel when I see somebody reflected back that doesn't look like what my picture in my head is of myself. Of course, as I've gotten older, I've gotten more used to what I look like. It's like the ultimate in - what do the docs call it? - not being able to recognize or understand faces.



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05 Mar 2007, 5:56 pm

Yes, sometimes it frightens me that I don't recognize myself. (thankfully my face doesn't frighten me.. lol)
I also have problems recognizing myself in photographs.



Apatura
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05 Mar 2007, 6:30 pm

I have a degree of face blindness-- propagnosia-- and I sometimes don't recognize myself in the mirror or in photographs. Even when I do recognize myself I get a weird "Who is that?" feeling.



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05 Mar 2007, 6:32 pm

It is an odd feeling, isn't it? I remember a moment when I lived with my ex when I looked in the mirror and I couldn't understand how I was this 28 year old woman rather than the 18 year old I was inside. It upset me a lot actually. I still look in the mirror and often feel this face is totally detached from who I am. It is just a face. Oh God, now I am having one of those word weird moments, lol, where a word is seeming very weird to me...face currently.


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Apatura
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05 Mar 2007, 6:36 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
I couldn't understand how I was this 28 year old woman rather than the 18 year old I was inside.


For me it's more that I don't even feel like I'm human, so I'm surprised to see myself in human form. I would probably recognize myself more readily if I really did look like a space alien!

It's hard to describe or explain adequately.



Erilyn
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05 Mar 2007, 6:44 pm

I don't really have problems with the mirror, but I always find that I look so alien in photographs. Everyone says I look normal, but my pictures always look incredibly strange to me. Seeing myself on video is far worse, though. It's like looking at another person altogether.



MsTriste
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05 Mar 2007, 6:46 pm

It is very hard to explain.

It was very bad when I was a teenager. I'd be thinking I was in an okay mood, then I'd see myself in the mirror and I looked sad or upset. I couldn't understand why my face didn't seem to reflect my mood. But that was nothing compared to just not feeling like I was the person in the mirror. It has gotten better, but now the problem is a little different.

If I go out or go to work, I brush my hair and put on some makeup. I look completely different. I can't stand that I can look like two different people within the space of five minutes. It's too weird. Some of you will just tell me to not wear makeup, but at my age and professional status, I really have to. But it's weird. And I never really learned to put on makeup in the first place (probably because of the mirror avoidance)



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05 Mar 2007, 8:08 pm

More to the piont can you LOOK into yor own eyes.... I can't, and when I am at th mirror I only observe my features with disgust, when I look into my eyes I think to myself..... who the f are you? that's not me, those eyes dont represent what I am thinking... then I look deeper and make a couple of typical social expressions... and see why I am such a casanova!



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05 Mar 2007, 8:39 pm

I get that sometimes, especially when I am in an unfamiliar place, or a place I don't frequent. Eg, I never have this problem with my bathroom mirror at home, but once recently in the men's room at the movies I had a startled double-take when I saw my reflection.

I also have a minor difficulty with face recognition, in that sometimes I have to think about whose face I am seeing.


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05 Mar 2007, 9:32 pm

has happened to me in stores and my house ><

it's very weird


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06 Mar 2007, 5:45 am

Wow, I never really thought about it, but I get this too. I never really felt that when looking in the mirror, or at pictures of myself that I should look like I do. Sometimes in pictures I don't recognize myself right away.
This seems to get worse afer I shave, or get a haircut. I remember after cutting my long hair off, I did a doubletake everytime I passed a mirror for a week or two. This may be normal though as I had friends says they did this afer they cut their hair short.


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Sapphires
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06 Mar 2007, 5:59 am

Sometimes when I stand in front of mirrors, I have to make some sort of movement or something just to make sure that it's me. Or I think that everything is a mirror - even if I can't see my reflection in it - and I have to pat the air in front of me to make sure it isn't.

I detest having my photograph taken as well. I hate looking at the lens or a camera. When my photo is developed, somehow I can't seem to convince myself that it's really me in the photo. I'm not photogenic at all - and it's not because I'm ugly (or maybe I am? I don't know). I try my best to hide my face or turn my back on the camera, but my friends don't know about my condition and try to force me to take photographs with them.



AmbientRainbow
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06 Mar 2007, 6:06 am

Gosh, this is an interesting question - never thought others might have similar thoughts. I have always been embarrassed to look at my face in the mirror. It feels somehow intrusive and eye contact is uncomfortable (work that out!!) I have to prepare myself to do it although I'm very pragmatic: if I have to then I do it. Of course I recognise my face but it's not the 'right' one sort of thing. It's not the one that I have in my mind.

In fact, I was only pondering all this the other day after I'd been out with NT friends. I wondered if the embarrassment was something to do with honesty: I always feel more embarrassed to look myself in the eye when I've been out running my NT act. Like I've been dishonest and caught myself redhanded. I identify with Alyssia and Erlyrisa's comments (though it's less disgust and more discomfort).



Erlyrisa
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06 Mar 2007, 6:26 am

I remmember once I walked in on my grilfriend in the bathroom brushing her teeth ... not only did I not like the look of myself - I hated the look of myself in the same room with her (you know the picture of the two of you standing next to each other) ... I wanted to turn away ,but kept my stance, and just looked at her,, trying to not notice that we were standing together out of the right field of vision > you know I couldn't close off the view of myself -the worst part is that as I got closer to her to 'cuddle' ,instead of the veiw of my face dissipating in was in closer proximity to the view of her face,, so I changed my mind and caked off and just stood at a distance, quickly calculated I=R and stood where I didn't exist.



MsTriste
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11 Mar 2007, 11:35 pm

Sapphires wrote:
I detest having my photograph taken as well. I hate looking at the lens or a camera. When my photo is developed, somehow I can't seem to convince myself that it's really me in the photo. I'm not photogenic at all - and it's not because I'm ugly (or maybe I am? I don't know). I try my best to hide my face or turn my back on the camera, but my friends don't know about my condition and try to force me to take photographs with them.


Same here. And another thing that disturbs me about photos of me is that I look completely different in every one. When I see pictures of other people, I recognize them relatively easily. But every picture of me is so different sometimes I want to yell and go "Who are you? Which one of these people are you REALLY?"



MsTriste
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11 Mar 2007, 11:41 pm

AmbientRainbow wrote:
t's not the one that I have in my mind.


Yes, that's exactly it. Sigh. Oh how weird to have this problem. What is it about our brains that makes this occur? No wonder we have a hard time with face blindness if we're blind to our own faces. I think this should go in the diagnosis criteria, but the psychiatrists will never know enough to ask us the questions that really differentiate ourselves from NT's.