Being something I'm not, no more!

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I've officially given up masking myself at work. I'm a cashier, so I have to deal with people on a regular basis, and up until last Friday, I'd wear this 'face' to seem more normal to them. I'd smile (occasionally), speak in a higher, cheerier tone, and I'd come off as a slightly odd and shy individual.

I had been doing this for the past 4 months, but last Friday I got to the point where I just couldn't keep it up anymore. Has anyone had a similar experience, and how did their work colleagues/ family react to it?

You'd better keep that mask on if you are dealing with the public. if they see you with a long face and showing two-fingered signs to customers they might not want you in the job......

it's not that im rude normally, but the way I speak naturally comes across weird, and probably condescending. But I can't keep up the act anymore, it just wears me out mentally to the point where it depresses me.

I don't believe that masking is something which is required either all the time or none of the time. Maybe there are times when you consider that masking is more helpful and necessary, and other times when it isn't. Would continue to mask just some of the time, be okay with you? You might find that, while doing it full time is exhausting, but sometimes is acceptably simpler.

Different people need different amounts of "masking" depending on the situation. I don't need to mask most of the time (I'm pretty horrible at it anyway), but I do need extremely good organizational skills at my paid positions and that tires me out a lot.

As you're learning about what is best for your situation, you will probably find that you need to put on the mask at least some of the time, which is most people out there, even those who don't have ASD. The optimal situation will likely involve you learning how to balance the need to mask vs. when you are exhausted, learning to recognize when your exhaustion starts affecting your productivity and letting go of the masking at that point, at least partially.

That was me towards the end of me being at the coffee shop I worked at. Some customers were just so rude and impatient I just couldn't take it for much longer - in a way I'm grateful my POTS stepped in so that I have a medical reason I can't work there anymore, I feel I would have "lost it" some day soon.

I'd had enough with customers who expect to have their asses kissed just because we're in the service industry. The last few months I wouldn't do it anymore. Just because we're cashiers/servers doesn't mean we have to take disrespect from people.

One time this family of really impatient parents & kids placed a huge order. I can only make one drink at a time, but each time I put a drink on the ledge for them they kept reminding me of what was still left to make: "we still need this, we still need that". After about 3 or 4 times of that, I calmly & slowly (even thought I was seething inside) said "I have an order screen behind the counter here, and I can plainly see what items I still need to make - unless I forget something I don't need to be reminded of what is remaining." And I made the effort to look them in the eye when I said it and I waited without moving until they acknowledged what I said. Then I continued on making their order. If they expect 5 or 6 items to be made in 20 seconds, well then

The kicker was that once they had all their items, they had the nerve to ask me for directions somewhere! I wasn't in a mood to tell them squat at that point - they're lucky I didn't give them a bum steer after how impatient they were with me I'd have loved to give them directions to the Windsor-Detroit tunnel and tell them 'keep going - ya can't miss it!" LOL

Ugh. Cashiering is probably one of THE worst jobs for someone on the spectrum!

I've worked as a cashier in retail, and it was exhausting, facing and conversing with a constant stream of people. The best way to NOT feel you have to mask is be in a position that doesn't require you to have to. Like a previous poster pointed out, you cannot do certain jobs (esp. those where you are dealing with the public) while scowling, stimming, being silent, or looking somber. Think about what you expect from an employee when you are the customer or patron.

Sometimes the jobs we get are not at all ideal for us. I get that. We all need to eat, and pay the bills. But you, my friend, should keep your eyes peeled for a job that gives you some down time. One that won't have you always feeling pressured to be something you aren't.

In the meantime, I suggest "paced" masking: no extremes of doing it or not doing it. If you don't want to get fired, or alienate your friends and family, that is.

I have not had good experiences ever in trying to just "be real" by not making the effort to mask. You end up hearing "smile, it can't be that bad!" or "why do you look/sound sad/mad?" (even when you're neither). Frankly, responding to comments like these and having to defend myself around every corner is as exhausting as just sucking it up a bit.

I admire your courage to be yourself. Just remember, EVERYONE once in a while puts on a happy face even if they are a hot mess behind the smile. It only becomes problematic when you do it too often.

I'd like to thank everyone who's posted. I can see there is an up and down side to masking, and I think it is probably best to find a less public entered profession. Thank you WP posters!