Would a therapist get rid of you if you call too much?

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My therapist has repeatedly complained about my leaving mutliple messages in the period of a week.

Unfortunately, this past week and weekend, I had to leave more messages. First, it was to get confirmation that he would send in the behavioral health clinician's statement to my employer. I left multiple messages for him and even showed up one day, to discuss with him this.

Second, I was feeling anger and hurt on Saturday, so I called asking for an appointment this coming week. He didn't respond and I then told him I would not want the appointment.

Third, I was in a panic over my SSDI forms and called and left messages displaying my panic, asking for an appointment in the coming week to make sure we're both on the same page regarding my SSDI determination. He has not responded, neither has he ever picked up the phone. It's like he ignores my phone calls.

So basically, I left multiple messages over the past week because of my anxiety.

I'm afraid, because he has been such a good therapist who helped me get through some tough times, that he will see me as a burden and refuse to see me anymore. I'm afraid he will abandon me, which would throw a wrench into both my long-term disability and application for SSDI.

What do you guys think?

What exactly did he say when he "complained"?

This sounds like what I did with my lawyer, although his assistants were the ones getting my phone calls. Either they told me flat out to "calm down" or "Everything is taken care of. Things like this take a while." I feel bad about it now.

He said he gets dozens of messages from different patients each day, that I have a tendency to get bogged down in detail--sometimes, my train of thought gets so off-track that my therapist says he gives up listening to it,--and that I leave multiple messages. He said I would do this even when the situation was not urgent.

I hope I didn't wreck my therapist-patient relationship this past week. I feel really bad that I left so many messages. I have trouble controlling my obsessiveness and simply letting things pass. I brood and ruminate and I will get agitated and call him requesting an appointment.

I'm still waiting for him to get back to me on setting up an appointment for this week, instead of having to wait until Monday of next week, so that we can be on the same page when I submit for SSDI.

I hope he doesn't abandon me.

I know this is much simply said than done, but try to find something to occupy your time and mind with that isn't so distressing and anxiety-inducing. That can be very difficult, but it's better than resorting to contacting him again.

Wait for him to get back to you. Otherwise, wait until your formal appointment. At this time, you may want to apologize for that and express that you are very anxious about the things you described. You may want to write out what you will say to him so it doesn't come out all longwinded and tiresome to listen to.

He could get rid of you for calling too much. But when you're afraid of being abandoned it's really his job to help you find ways of coping with your anxiety, whether that's activities, an additional appointment, or maybe a colleague could met with you this week if he isn't available. Or, if you're able to manage your anxiety yourself you should try to trust he won't do better for you from being nagged. And he clearly prefers short to long messages. But unless you can figure out what to do better you deserve to be taught, not critiqued.

OK. I will wait for him to call.

If he confronts me on the phone calls, I will apologize and say I have been very anxious.

He would have you sign a contract of what is an emergency call and what isn't.

How you could have handled it better, is do one call saying, my anxiety is out of control and listed exactly what is bothering you. You would have a better chance of actually getting a phone call back.

The paperwork, the employment issues and the out of control anxiety could have been addressed in one phone call.

My psychiatrist would not call me back, on a holiday weekend with those concerns. I did that, and I had to sign said contract. Then we worked up a game plan on how to deal with the anxiety.

I understand how nerve racking waiting on paper work is. It's horrible.

So this therapist may not call you back at all until Tuesday. Try and keep busy/distracted. I know that is really hard to do.

Tawaki,

The only thing I can think of doing is sleeping.

I hope I can just close my computer, get under the covers, and sleep from now until Tuesday morning.

Watching tv or a movie from bed is better than being completely overwhelmed. Could you focus on a show or movie? Maybe takes shower or bath if they relax you?

Neither option is appealing.

I hope I can just sleep and sleep.

I feel empty.

It is your therapist's job to help you with your problems; I would be very surprised if he suddenly dumped you without discussing it with you first. In the previous conversation about your phone calls, did he ever specifically mention potential consequences for continuing to leave excessive messages? If not, I find it unlikely that he would just drop you; he would probably want to set up a system, the likes of which Tawaki described, detailing when it is and isn't appropriate to call, and what the consequences of calling inappropriately would be.

I used to have a similar problem with my old high school mentor. I would get so anxious and worked up over whatever was bothering me that I would send him long emails, then follow up in person at school the next day to see if he got them. He was generally very patient with me, but there was one time (March 11, 2011: I remember the date because it was such a dreadful shock) when he yelled at me (legitimately) because I was driving him crazy with my persistent moping around and inability/refusal to implement the suggestions he kept offering. I understand now that I didn't try to improve because I was scared that if I did, he would leave me because I didn't need him anymore. Try not to be too anxious, I'm sure your therapist will understand. Keep us posted.

I hope you are feeling a little better.

When my anxiety was to Pluto, I'd take 50 mgs of Benadryl and just sleep.

Not the most elegant solution, but you do what you have to do.

Thinking of you...

Tawaki

My therapist called, reprimanded me lightly, and told me he had sent in the form for short-term disability as well as faxed 60+ pages of my records to Social Security.

Glad things calmed down.

Nice.