Being someone's pet

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Do you ever feel like you're someone's pet? I always did when I was growing up. People probably thought my strange behavior was cute. They would end up "befriending" me for their own enjoyment.

They often tried to order me around. Whenever I did stuff they didn't like they often told me not to do it. They also talked to me like I was younger. I really hated all of this, but I had no idea what to do about it. I tried to explain this problem to people, but most people didn't understand. The people that did had no solution for me.

I eventually thought of a makeshift solution for this problem. I know that it's very flawed, but it's the best I can think of. I've obsessively been trying to find a better solution to this problem.

1. The first thing I did was suppress all of my visibly inappropriate behavior. It was hard work and it made me extremely socially isolated.

2. I also started to avoid people my age unless I could get into a "good conversation". I define a good conversation as a conversation that starts for a normal reason, I'm treated like a normal person, I act like a normal person and is interesting enough for me to pay attention to.

3. I also learned to be distant, but not too rude. Mainly because being rude makes me look odd. Looking odd attracts patronizing people and that's the last thing I need. The only problem I have is that some people just don't know that I don't really want to talk to them. I just get sucked into their "conversation". The "conversations" I was having were more like interviews. They would ask me a bunch of questions and not answer any of my questions or say anything interesting.

4. I also changed the way I looked. I simply changed the way I dressed and started to wear makeup. This made me blend in way better so I slipped under people's radar. Since I didn't stand out as much, no one tried to make me their pet.

People used to try to do that to me, particularly when I was in school.

My main solutions:

1. Tell them straight out "Don't tell me what to do."

2. Smile, nod, agree with everything, then go and do what I wanted to do anyway.

Lately it has been way too subtle for that to work. They now do things like interviewing me instead of having a conversation and having overly animated body language.

I kinda feel like a dog sometimes because someone has to take me for a walk and has to hang onto me by my back belt loop or the tail of my shirt.

at least you have a much longer life span! also you don't have to play catch or bark and sniff other dogs butts. dogs are awesome but i would not like to be one.

Why do they do that to you?

I was treated like a pet by a classmate of mine in primary school who was also my classmate in secondary school. She thought that I was "cute" because of my small size (I've always been very small for someone of my age) and because of my autistic traits and deafness. She used to try and do everything for me and thought that I needed help with everything. Even the simplest things.

First couple of years in secondary school, I used to have people from older years calling me "cute" and squealing when they saw me because I was small and very shy. They also thought that my being part Chinese was also cute and always kept trying to get me to count in Cantonese.

I had this problem all the time in school. I've always been very small (physical growth delays due to premature birth), easily spooked due to anxiety and sensory problems, and socially and emotionally naive. This made me a prime candidate for "babying" by every female classmate and teacher I had. They always used to laugh in that "isn't she cute" way whenever I said anything, and I never understood why they were laughing, because I never said anything I thought was funny. Even now, as an adult I still get treated that way: by my coworkers, my friends, even my younger sister, as well as a professor at university. They all treat me like I'm ten years old, and it's annoying. I don't mind the extra social and executive functioning support, as I still need it, but they don't have to do it in such a patronising manner.

Yes.

A very long time ago though.

Woof Woof!

And then more recently.

Meow Meow!

I used to get that a lot when I was younger. I was a very, very obediant child. Some of the bossier and more socially adept of my peers would "befriend" me, becasue they realized I would basically do whatever they said. "Going along with it" was just how I socialized. I recall some of my "friends" using me as a jungle gym when I was nine. I followed people around and carried their bookbags.
But I had limits. I formed very strong emotional attatchment to objects; my favourite toys, trees, furniture, dolls, rocks. Sometimes, people would ask me to give them things. It hurt more than when they punched and kicked me, or called me stupid. As I grew older, my limits grew, I learned to say "no" to things I didn't want to do, and the relationships slowly fell away. I'm still willing to help anyone with anything, unless I have a reason not to, but because I'm quieter now, nobody notices me, and I don't get taken advantage of as often.

I can't really relate to the OPs experience, but I can relate to this. My parents don't have to hold on to me, but someone does have to go with me, and so sometimes they argue over who is going to walk me and that phrasing makes me feel like a dog. When they do that, I joke that I'll go get my leash or I just start barking.

I hate this. I'm sixteen and 4'10.5". I don't know why height it such a big deal to people, but apparently it is.

Several years ago, two girls 'aw-wed' at me when I passed them in the hallway. I suppose I could've turned around and insulted their weight to retaliate, but I suppose I was a nicer person then...Not that I would do that now, either. People will go on about how rude it is to insult someone's weight, but then they'll turn around and patronize somebody just because they're short. I hate it.

You're 16, you're 4'10, you have dermatillomania and like writing. Are you my long lost twin?

I remember when I was in my final year of secondary school (I had recently turned 16) and had to deliver something to another teacher who happened to be in his class. And the class was students in the year below. When I knocked on the door and walked inside, some of the girls "aw-wed" at me and I stood there with a face expression like this:

For me, it can get annoying after a while but I don't hate it. I guess it's because I'm used to it by now. The only part that I find drives me up the wall is when people see me as someone helpless and try to help me with everything even though I know and they know that I'm perfectly capable of being able to fulfil some achievements. Also, some people might see someone with small height as very cute and unusual, and might compare it to a kitten or a puppy. I don't know.

Oh I get lost really easily and I'm always very afraid of it. So it helps me feel more secure when someone has a hold of me like that. It's better then holding my hand or gripping my arm or shoulder which I don't like. But still I feel like I have to be taken for a walk instead of just being able to go out and walk around by myself.

Yes, I have felt like a pet before. In my senior year of high school, I even had a girl say I reminded her of a puppy, but the way she said it was implying that I was her puppy. And to be honest she wasn't really wrong, I followed her and copied her and basically did anything she said. I didn't realize that she was totally using me until about a year of this.

I've had many similar "friendships", mostly as a litte kid, where they were only my friend because they thought it was funny that I was so gullible. I relate a lot to what you said about people talking down to you, even people younger than me will do that to me sometimes.

However, the thing I have found to be the most consistent (and the most annoying) as far as others treating me like I'm less than them, is that people will almost never believe that I'm correct at first. Often they assume I'm dead wrong, and until I bring in someone who is supposedly more credible I can't convince people of anything. And this can be big; or it can be something little, like trying to explain that the word "damned" cannot be correctly used as the past tense of "to dam", because "damn" and "dam" are not the same word. For some reason nobody in the whole classroom believed me (it was a church class), and they actually were calling me stupid and being mean about it. When I finally got frustrated enough to ask the teacher to tell them (and he did tell them EXACTLY what I said, almost word for word) they all suddenly believed it. But of course, none of them apologized for calling me stupid, they just thought the teacher was so smart.

I just avoid people in general now, especially those my age. That's the only way I've found to deal with it, as my efforts to hide my behaviors are not very successful.