A guide to meltdowns, shutdowns, etc.

Post Reply New Topic

I'd like there to be a guide on meltdowns and shutdowns (and maybe other stuff like panic attacks, etc.)

Here is what I have thought of. This is only partly from experience, as I have never experienced a bad shutdown, but this is alot what I have gathered from hearing other experiences:

Meltdowns- The Adult Temper Tantrum, Emotional Explosion. When stress and/or stimuli become so overwhelming that they push an autist over the edge. Screaming, throwing things, anger. Do not touch us when we get like this, treat us like a rampaging gorilla, restraining us not in our best interests, or yours. Our comfort zone becomes so thin, that we are bothered by ourselves. The autist in question is at great risk for being injured. Generally only lasts a few minutes.

Shutdowns- Emotional Implosion. Can happen after a bad meltdown, or on it's own. When someone with HFA loses their functionality. Often they're unable to speak, sometimes they can't move or eat. The lights are on, but nobody's home. Apathetic, lethargic, depressed. Can last anywhere from a few hours, to a few days, or weeks.

If I made a mistake, an overgeneralization, or an error PLEASE feel obligated to correct me! Also any additional tips, such as how to avoid them, how to help someone in the middle of them, and warnings and advice are greatly appreciated.

Personal experiences are also helpful

Personally I hate being told to "calm down" when I'm ranting or angry about something - it is guaranteed to piss me off more or get me ranting on even worse. I actually told a supervisor I used to work with that saying "calm down" to me was just not helpful at all.

So maybe if someone has alot of meltdowns perhaps they could explain to people who are around them alot that they don't want to be told to calm down.

What usually helps me is to recognize the signs and try to either work on calming down before things get bad (by fixing the problem or leaving the problem, doing something I enjoy then coming back to it) or going somewhere that I can be alone to have the meltdown where I won't be able to do things I regret or embarrass myself. I also can sometimes postpone a meltdown, and its not fun, but sometimes if I'm lucky it will go away.

Telling me things like "calm down" or "stop crying" is basically like telling a frog not to croak. If anything I get even worse. Fortunately most of my meltdowns happen when I'm alone at night and can't disturb anyone, and no one wants to talk to me in that state anyway, even after I've stopped raging and afterwards have exhaustion and depression.

Yes, I hate "Calm down" -- it's utterly patronizing and actually fuels my fire. Also, when I'm in meltdown, it does NOT help for the other person to just get angry back at me and treat it all like it's a fair game and an even playing-field like any argument. It's not an even playing field because I'm having severe distress. I need HELP not scorn, mocking, returned anger, belittling, hitting me, treating me like all is fair in war and I'm equal to the fight. I'm not. I'm in deep distress.

The best thing a person can do is back the hell off of me. Muster compassion -- compassion is completely out of fashion these days. People love to hate each other for their problems, rather than say hey, wait a minute. that person is really suffering.

I had an incident today that I'm going to have a hard time getting over. So this stuff is fresh in my mind.

/

When I'm going to have a meltdown I usually know because there's some kind of build up before hand where I'm still somewhat 'in control.' I really have to try hard to 'bite back on my anger' to avoid completely exploding and saying or doing something I know I'll regret later.

During these times it's best if I can avoid any human contact whatsoever. My mind is racing and my thoughts are spiraling out of control and even something as simple as someone saying, "Hi, how are ya?" can be enough for me to flip. What becomes really difficult is when people, being mostly well-meaning, try to console me or talk me down when I'm in this state. No, let me quietly rage to myself and when I'm ready I will seek you out if I feel so inclined. If not, then you're going to get the screaming, cussing, and tears.

Me too. I can usually calm down just fine by myself. It just feels like people are invalidating my feelings and being way too controlling when they do that. My dad also has this bad habit of telling me to not be anxious. Usually when he talks about stuff that makes me anxious. He could easily calm me down by just changing the subject.

If I have a meltdown they last more than a few minutes, they last at least 30 minutes, usually they are about an hour. I prefer to be left alone as if people try to calm me down it is made worse, though I don't really register much when I have one but any noise makes it worse and makes it last longer. I personally like to lie under my duvet.

I've never disclosed this to anyone before.

At work, a graduate student called me and instead of simply asking for me to refer her to a data source, she essentially asked me to complete the data collection for her that she needed to complete her master's thesis. I was so livid, but I continued to speak politely to her. I then got on the Internet, looked her up (having me vet applicants' resumes and CVs was a bad idea on my employer's part), found the department chair at the university she was attending, and instead of directing my anger to this student, I directed it to the professor, calling her a variety of names. I told her she was destroying the value behind a college degree and went so far as to tell her to drown in her white guilt. Why the hell is this piece of sh-t woman that is her student asking me to do work for her that's necessary for her degree when I only have a Bachelor's? Disgusting. We are not a cheat house.

I don't know if this constitutes a meltdown or my just being an a**hole. I was very, very mad though. When I do get this mad, there's usually a calculated act that follows, such as what I had done to the professor. For some reason I'm not exactly remorseful but I regret that I put myself through that.

I don't know if my boss knows. I don't know if that professor told anyone. I don't know if that student found out. I did feel very disrespected though.