I have a couple of random questions.

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1. Why do people say I'm sorry when people die? I've never understood this as I thought you only apologised if it was your fault.

2. Does anyone else refer to a pet as it? I've always referred to my dog as it and I'm not sure why, no one else seems to do this.

3. Does anyone else speak in third person? I do this quite a lot, and I've always wondered whether it was just me or other people do it to.

Thanks.

1. You say "sorry" when people die because you feel bad that they are suffering because of the death. "Sorry" is an expression of empathy/sympathy rather than of apology. NT's feel that it is appropriate.

2. There are people who think that all "non-people" entities should bear the pronoun "it." There are even some people who refer to infants as "it." When I had a cat, I referred to IT as "HE." There, I used both pronouns! This is what I often did when I had pets.

3. I don't speak in the third person--but many people on the Spectrum do.

1. I think "sorry" has two (or more) different meanings. When someone else says "I'm sorry" about someone's death, that person is not apologizing.

2. I do often use "it" to refer to a pet. I think it's actually preferable because it's gender neutral. I sometimes even use "it" instead of "he/she" to refer to people. I know it's considered wrong but I hope we ditch he/she and start using "it" to refer to people, too.

3. You mean "jk1 wants to go out to eat today" instead of saying "I want to..."? I never do that in English but I do that often when I speak to my family in my first language.

Like Kraftie and JK1 said, "sorry" can be mean other things than apologizing. It can be an expression of showing compassion like if you feel bad that the person is going through something difficult. Not that you feel bad because you caused whatever the person is going through, and if you did cause it than you should definitely say "sorry" to apologize, but because they are hurt you feel sorry for them that they are hurt because you wish that they would not be hurt.

I never refer to pets as "It". I have very deep bonds with the animals in my life and I consider them friends and family and I would never refer to a friend or family member as "it".

I speak of myself in the third person when I am speaking on behalf of or about the child side of me to others. I call her My Little Girl because that is what she is. The two personalities that I have, one being more adult and the other very much like a little child are very distinct in how they interact with people and with whom they choose to interact with. I am completely aware of when I am one or the other and unlike with Schizophrenia, they are two different emotional states of the same person, not two personalities who consist of two completely different people who have nothing to do with each other. But I talk about her in the third person because it makes it easier for others to understand what part of myself I am speaking about at any given moment.

am one of them,use a different pronoun to avoid speaking in first person all the time, personaly do it because dont feel attachment to the other self words,trying to use normal self words is like trying to understand a impossible concept,its confusing and overloading.

1) Your answer is just as others have said. I actually have somewhat of a compulsive habit if overusing the term. It may originate from early confusion in when it was/is appropriate to use "Sorry." For example, I might be near someone who is carrying something that they drop. I have nothing at all to do with their momentary clumsiness, but I'll say "sorry" anyway.

2) I've never really done this with my own pets, but if it's someone else's and I don't know the gender of the animal I'll use "it." I had a grandmother though who could never get the gender of my pets straight despite being told multiple times. For her, a dog was always a "He" and a cat was a "She." Which happened to be the exact opposite of the genders of my pets.

3) I usually don't experience this. I usually find the practice of referring to yourself in the first person as a bit arrogant or narcissistic. I will sometimes mistakenly use "We" instead of "I" and will talk to myself internally if that counts though, like "Jim, what the hell are you thinking..?"

2. has gotten me in trouble in the past (and still does every so often). Not because I refer pets to it, but have often referred babies and infants to "it" as well. When I'm not sure of the gender, "it" seems like the natural pronoun to call it, though, to be fair, I've called plenty of little humans "it" knowing full well what their gender was (just doesn't make sense to call them "hes" or "shes").

1) in both apologies and bereavements, "sorry" is expressing regret: the first is like, "i regret that i did that". the other is like, "i regret that we won't experience the deceased's presence any more"

Thanks

The sorry thing makes sense now.

I was thinking last night why I call the dog it and I think it's because I don't connect it to being male or female, it's a dog and not in a dog/female dog way just a dog.

And yes I mean in a (name) wants toast.

Sometimes it means ''I'm sorry to hear that''. The word ''sorry'' doesn't always mean ''apology''. It can also mean sad emotions, sort of like ''sorrow''. When I don't hear somebody, I normally say ''sorry?'' I don't know why some people (including myself!) say that for. Perhaps it's a shorter way of saying ''sorry can you repeat that again?'' or ''sorry I'm deaf''.


I've heard people refer to their pets as It sometimes, depending on what mood they're in. My mum loves our cat to bits and often refers to her as She, but sometimes when my mum's angry with her she'll call her It. Last night she was miawing at the door and I was standing up and my mum sighed and said ''oh can you put It out?''


I speak in first person when referring to myself.