My therapist is useless.

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I've had two appointments with this woman and I am not optimistic. Where do I begin?

1. She doesn't believe I'm on the Autism Spectrum, even though my previous psychologists did and a lot of symptoms match up. I finally got her to sign me up for some psych tests, but she said "I really doubt they'll find anything."

2. Perhaps because of that, she speaks to me like I'm a child, implying that my problems are not serious or unusual. (Just like my mother who would dismiss any complaint or concern I ever had with "everybody goes through those things.") Easy for them to say. They haven't had their lives practically shut down by this.

3. She talks too much. She even interrupts me during our sessions. It's my therapy, I should be the one talking.

4. She told me to sign something on her computer pad without first explaining what I was consenting to (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I had to question her to get an explanation, which is something I find very difficult.

5. I got bad vibes when we discussed medication. I expressed reservations about it when she suggested it. She then became defensive, even insisting out of the blue, "I am not a drug peddler" (when I had not said anything of the kind).

This isn't what I wanted. All she's doing is going off paperwork and marching me through CBT, presenting medication as some kind of perfect solution that will "take the edge off" my anxiety. No mention of which medicines she has in mind or their potential side effects. Like I said, I am not optimistic.

All psychologists and psychiatrists are morons. The sooner you learn that the better for you. And don't take the medication, don't even buy it. Try something on your own instead, like meditation.

I hate therapists,

I needed a therapist that understands Asperger's. All aspects of the disorder. To any other therapist what they interpret Asperger's is just a mean person. Not true! Yes they say mean things and tend to be abusive. After that is let out, the sweet and kind person emerges.


My therapists kept telling me to runaway from my AS partner. I did need to get away but not permanently! I regret for taking their advice to literal. Ultimately, you have to make the choice. Therapists should help you cope with anxiety and how to mitigate feelings so you do not overload so quickly. Look at the situations logically and calmly....calmly make a decision with a process. There are so many alternatives to medication. The best one is a hug! Yes, and good ol' fashioned hug from some one that loves you! An apology from those who inadvertently hurt you, how about that Mr. Therapist. To the pits with drugs!

Find a therapist that knows Asperger's Syndrome and leave this lady. She is no use to you.

In my experience, most are

I found some psychotherapy for PTSD back in 1998 but it turned out to be group psychoptherapy mainly for allistic people and they knew as much about Asperger syndrome or developmental disability as my mum knows about astrophysics. About as much use as a bikini in the winter. One thought that autistic traits were a sign of having gay inclinations or being a complete twat. This is what the other people in thr group thought I was just a twat which is probably what they thought of Asperger syndrome people in general. Even thought I did not know I had Asperger syndrome because I didn't yet have my diagnosis and changed what I thought about people in general and not for the better. it would be logical if one needed psychotherapy then one would be given one that understands the autistic spectrum and not necessarily just being on prescription drugs. An understanding of Asperger syndrome is a must if one is going to recommend psychotherapy for a person that has Asperger syndrome and therfore one should assume that group psychotherapy is out of the question unless the other group members are also on the autistic spectrum. Often their ideas are completely at odds with the issues in autism/Asperger syndrome.

Many psychologists and even psychiatrists are not familiar with autism. And often they have some wrong ideas of it and end up saying something like "you cannot be autistic because you can joke". They tend to try to fit your problems into whatever knowledge they have. So they tend to try to treat it as just depression or something and prescribe drugs for that. If you try to tell them what you think/know that contradicts what they think, they become very stubborn as they are often very proud (not all are like that though). So the therapy sessions make no progress. You end up just feeling frustrated. I even feel some therapists probably think of their patients as just a source of their income and use their usual "depression/anxiety->drugs" routine because it's easy.

I don't know exactly what the purpose of the OP's therapy is. Whether it is to get a diagnosis of autism or to manage his autistic symptoms, he needs to see a psychologist or psychiatrist that is a specialist in autism.

Also drugless therapies involve grooming techniques that is persuation and if allistic people do not take my word at face value then why should I/we take their word at face value?

Last edited by Aspiewordsmith on 03 Sep 2014, 8:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

As a therapist myself, I can say quite surely that you will do best with someone you're comfortable with.

What you are describing sounds like someone who is quite dismissive and invalidating. I would encourage you to bring these concerns (your OP if you are comfortable) to her if you feel okay doing that and see how that goes. If she is worth continuing with, she might do some bargaining with you to help you feel comfortable. If she keeps up the dismissiveness, I would consider looking elsewhere.

That makes me anxious just reading about the horrendous treatment that you got from your shrink. I also think it would be a big mistake for her to be rushing you through CBT and pushing pills on you. I despise shrinks for that very reason.

I want someone to talk to who can help me manage my symptoms, not dismiss my worries and give me generic pep talks. It was another therapist from my introductory session last month who believed my anxiety and depression stemmed from untreated Aspergers in childhood, and pointed out physical and psychological tendencies that matched the diagnosis. I wasn't so sure at first, but after some research I think it's on target. The regular therapist they assigned me to agrees that I have Generalized Anxiety and Major Depressive Disorder, but she dismisses ASD as a source without offering an alternative theory. That and her in-and-out therapy style tells me I'm better off finding someone else.

At least I'm poor enough to qualify for state aid so I'm not paying for this out of my own pocket.

These are all recurring problems I've had with psychiatrists (I have never seen a psychiatrist I felt comfortable with). I have gone through six therapists since last year. In college, I ran through four. Two I didn't like, and two I really liked but were grad students putting in internship hours. I saw someone new this past weekend, because someone I know with similar issues that I have recommended her to me.

It's concerning that someone says "I am not a drug peddler" when you didn't even suggest that. I'd feel insulted, personally. It's kind of like, "You don't know what's good for yourself, which is why you're seeing me. I'm a therapist and know what I'm doing." Maybe that's just how I'm seeing it, but it reminds me of when a psychiatrist told me he was "ethically obligated to keep my medications the same, as it would be unethical to leave someone with a diagnosis untreated."

The things I described were pretty serious and...foreign to the therapists/counselors involved. It's interesting how they all advertise multiculturalism but failed to acknowledge that some pretty screwed up things happen in some cultures. I kid you not, I had one ask me, "But isn't your mother Asian?" when I told them that my parents didn't go to my high school graduation, nor did they finance my college "education." This may have to do with the nature of the university through which the ineffective counseling was offered, but it does make me wonder how one got accepted into a PhD program and had a degree conferred onto them when they ask questions so indicative of "magical thinking." I communicated to a therapist something my parents had done to me. She skeptically asked, "...and why wasn't CPS called?" Well, a report has to be made to CPS first, I was too scared to reach out to anyone, and at the time no one at school suspected something was going on, so no report was made. And if no report was made, CPS could not investigate at the time.

I think I mentioned here before that a psychiatrist thought I was a narcissist because of schools I was applying to after college. It seems that because of my history of diagnoses, I'm not capable, nor allowed to pursue my own goals and be successful.

Is there any reason you are forced or mandated to be see this person?. I see no other reason why you should be interacting with her.

I guess if it's a practitioners' center he can go to the administrative desk or clinical director and say "I don't want to see this person because of XYZ reason" and they can transition him to a more suitable therapist? Or communicate what he wants to go to therapy for and if there is a person within the practice who can meet his needs and preferences?

Well, you're absolutely right about that. After making this thread, I decided I had to make a change. Before today's appointment even started I went straight to the front desk and asked about how to change therapists. They told me I had to request a referral from her personally, which made me very uncomfortable, but there was no alternative. "I didn't come here for therapy to increase my stress," I wanted to tell them.

By the time the therapist met me in the waiting room, someone had apparently passed my request on to her. She seemed concerned but not upset. I pretty much confirmed that it wasn't a good fit and I wanted someone else, preferably a man who specialized in ASDs, and she didn't argue about it. I was relieved about that. I was out of her office in under ten minutes. On the way out, I checked to see if she had at least scheduled me for a neuro-psych test as she said.

She hadn't. So I had to set one up myself for next month. Now they just have to get back to me once they find a new therapist who knows about autism and can fit me in. Whoever it is, I hope they are more helpful.

Sorry to hear about your difficult history with therapy, MB. At this point I'm starting to have doubts about whether therapy can really help me at all if I'm not willing to be medicated to be more like an NT, an idea which is offensive to me. But if nothing else, I'm going to get a new diagnosis and be sure of what I'm facing.

medicated to be more like an NT? I wasn't aware they had developed a drug that could rewire your brain entirely!

What I mean is, I'm worried that all the treatments and medications will be geared toward helping me fit into the rest of society, encouraging me to change my feelings or behaviors so that I fit in. Maybe that sounds nice to some people, but it's not really what I want.