Robot. I don't care.

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Someone told me I'm like a robot recently.

I don't care for tone of voice. I don't care about eye contact, I never do it. I don't care that I can't read facial expressions (or even recognise most people). I don't care that I don't socialise much (I only ever meet up with people when I need help with something or if they need my help). I don't care that I either show no emotion (most of the time) or I have meltdowns (which could be said to be extreme anxiety / agitation).

I really don't care about being "defective" or "broken".

Am I being stupid.

Does anyone else not care about not fitting into society.

Support worker told me that I'm a very intelligent and logical person today. I prefer that than anything else. I'm fine with the way I am.

Be you and thats all you need to be. Those who say you're 'this' or 'that' just because you dont conform to their generic expectations are, themselves, nothing more than bland copies of 'the rest'.

I would love to meet a girl like you simply because that's the kind of person I would actually enjoy spending time with... without all the pointless socially expected performance/fakeness.

I don't care about fitting in, and I can't fit in.
I just want to be myself.

You are not being stupid at all SM. When all of those things you mentioned are exhausting for you and overwhelming to try to do all the time you get to the point where you really can't care about them. . I feel the same way sometimes. And you can't feel bad about it. The exhaustion of trying to fit in makes it too difficult and you get burned out trying to do it. So I think that you should do what works for you.

You are definitely not being stupid. I really could not careless whether I fit into society or not. If somebody else has a problem with it, it's there problem not mine.

You're not being stupid at all SteelMaiden. Sounds to me like you've found your way to cope and that you have an understanding of what works / doesn't work for you.

It's OK to be who you are. I'm fairly sure most of us here get what you're trying to say.

Take care

I have tried to hard to fit in when I was younger. I tried so hard that I would hang around people that despised me or meant me harm.


I cared about where I fit in and how I'm perceived. That is a big mistake on my part. To fit in with others I would mimic characters of off TV. I was a spectacle to say the least. A form of entertainment to others or a source of ridicule. No one should put on the mask. You can't have that mask on during a real relationship.

I'd say your attitude is remarkable for your years. (I was still stressing about fitting in until I was almost 40.) Keep on being who you are and living your life the way that makes you the most content.

Thank you all. I just want to be calm. Being myself and not bothering to fit in keeps me relatively calm.

My problem often tends to be I am too emotional.

I still behave like a kid to some retrospect, I ask my sister for hugs (she's 18, and only does it when she knows I need it) and my brother too (but he's not very receptive).

Otherwise, my emotions seem non-existent.

One of my biggest realizations was that even though there is pressure to conform and people say that want you to be this and that. They actually respect you more when you resist them and fight for your identity.

There are times to apologize for who you are but if you're going the apology route, the apology is just the beginning. It'll be a long time of trying to change and winning back peoples trust. Many times, it's better not to apologize, people see that weakness and come down on you twice as hard. It's like taking a hostage, at first you're just relieved the battles over, they surrendered, but then, hey, now I can do whatever I want to them, now they are mine. Then you get sadistic and evil.

I think I seem robotic and un-emotional. I'm very emotional but don't express it.
I never want to talk about emotional things, I just get withdrawn.