Everyone has it??
I am new here. I was formally diagnosed with AS last December and scored 178 on RAADS. Sometimes I still question my diagnosis and feel Im some sort of fraud. But anyway, overall the diagnosis has been helpful and has made sense of some of my behaviour, which previously even I struggled to comprehend.
Anyway, my point is this: since sharing my diagnosis with others, I have been very surprised by the number of people who have, independently of each other, said to me "you know, I have looked at the symptoms on line and I think that describes me too." I have found this a bit frustrating. I don't own aspergers and I'm not looking to be unique or special, but the number of other people who have said "yeh that's me too" I feel just trivialises some of the difficulties I have faced for 48 years.....or maybe I'm wrong; i dont know, its new to me, and I'm still coming to terms with it all, but does everyone really have it?
I was just wondering if the "that's me too" reaction is something that many of have experienced or am I being silly and over sensitive??
They're just trying to understand, but of course can only guess.
It's the same with my wife's clinical depression. People feel since they've been depressed at times, it's the same thing.
It's just ordinary people trying to tell you they understand your pain, in an effort to let you bond, and feel better now that there is someone to share your pain..
Hi Scribbler and welcome to WP.
Congratulations on your diagnosis. Around here we congratulate people for that. Don't feel like a fraud. Like you said, you know how hard your life is and now you have a real explanation for your issues.
And the answer to your question is no, everyone does not have it. The thing that confuses people is that none of the traits to Asperger's are exclusive to Asperger's. Every single thing we feel and experience, every one else does too. The difference is that with us we experience these things at a frequency and intensity that makes our lives impaired in some way. Others may experience the same things but not in a way that impairs their ability to function. One recent example that I used on another recent thread about this is someone who is born with type one diabetes. Type two will do as well but I chose type one because like, Autism people are born with it. Autism develops in a child during the second trimester of pregnancy even though it might not show up until a little later in life. But as far as the diabetes example, every single person on earth has time when his or her blood sugar spikes or crashes but just because that happens every once in a while, that in and of itself does not make one diabetic, If your blood sugar is out of control to the point where you need to manually manage it and it impairs your life if you don't, then you are a diabetic, or whatever condition you happen to have that is causing your blood sugar to be that irregular all the time. But just because my blood sugar level happened to spike yesterday or crash last month one time does not mean that I am a diabetic and if I said, everyone is a diabetic because everyone has a little blood sugar irregularity every now and again, the diabetic community would have a fit.
It is the same with Prader - Willi Syndrome. Everyone has felt hungry and even felt like they were starving at some point in their lives and some people feel that way more than once. Some people are also obese. But we would never say, everyone has a bit of Prader - Willi Syndrome.
So those people who tell you those things have no idea what they are talking about and it is very frustrating to have to hear that. I get very frustrated hearing that. It makes me want to slap people. I also get the same thing when I try to explain my Misophonia. And the big problem with this for high functioning people especially is that because of this we are often expected to be able to recover and function as well as NT's because they think we experience the same things as they do and they refuse to give us any breaks with this. And then they get upset at us when we can't function like they can.
They also don't realize that are brains are physiologically different. There are very big differences in the construction and development of the brain and neurological system. One of the most frustrating things is that if someone were to trivialize diabetes or Prader - Willi or any other serious condition like that, no one would tolerate that. But for some reason with ASD's it is fine for people to trivialize it or jump on the band wagon all they want. And all that does it hurt truly Autistic and Aspergian people.
I understand that people try to say it sometimes to make us feel better because they want us to think we are not that different or impaired. And I appreciate the intention much. However, as good as the intention may be, it is still not fair or encouraging at all for me to hear that. I actually find it very insensitive and insulting. If they start telling diabetics and everyone else who has a serious condition the same thing, then I might reconsider how I feel about it.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Last edited by skibum on 23 Sep 2014, 11:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
I have been told how they hate talking on phones too or how they feel nervous when they meet new people or in new situations and how stressed out they get too and how stressful it is for everyone. I have also been told college is hard for everyone, all second graders get distracted and can't do their school work. I couldn't explain to my ex boyfriend how I was the only student in class who had about every school assignment to do at home as homework while lot of kids got the majority of it done so they only had one or two worksheets to do or a report they were given. How is this all normal what I went through?
My parents must have suffered Munchausen by proxy because my mother couldn't stop taking me to doctor to doctor and maybe I am crazy too and really am normal and I am just lazy and I somehow fooled my doctors and my work and social security. That's how it makes me all feel when people say it happens to them too.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
And besides, if everyone had it, it would not be a syndrome. It would not need to be diagnosed and kids would not have special educational programs and IEPs for it. We would not need special therapy for it. If everyone had it, it would jut be normal and society would be completely adapted to accommodate it.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Also, don't forget there is an overlap. Just because someone doesn't have AS doesn't mean they don't have a condition so they may still be able to relate to what you are saying, especially what they went through regarding school and employment and people. I remember reading something by Temple Grandin and she wrote how she had friends and then when she reached puberty, she started to lose them and have a hard time relating because kids change and I could so relate to that and I am sure anyone with a disability would be able to relate to that too.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
My ex boyfriend had ADHD and he tried to convince me what I went through as a kid was normal and he doesn't see how any normal second grader would be able to stay on task and keep doing their school work. I also have an aspie friend online and he kept on saying that happens to everyone. My ex boyfriend said that too who was also aspie. I can remember being at my autism group and someone mentioned about how things are normal for everyone but what makes it a symptom/impairment is your reaction and how you handle it. So lot of people like things a certain way, but how many of them would actually start screaming at people over something trivial because someone touched their thing and moved it to the wrong spot, or hide in the corner and start rocking back and forth, or having a panic attack so they stim excessively. I am sure there are their abnormal reactions to this but these are the only three I can think of. I wonder what is the normal reaction for someone when they are having a bad day and someone touched their item and moved it to the wrong spot.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I see what you mean League Girl. That makes sense. But I agree with you totally. How many people would freak out when someone touched them a certain way or would have the desire to literally kill people and rip their faces off when they made a little sound that no once else would even pay attention to. Or how many people would, like what happened to me last week, start rocking and crying and be totally unable to move on physically or mentally because the lady at the bakery broke their routine for that supermarket and refused to give them a sample cookie.
_________________
"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph