The opposite of autism

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Yeah I know exactly what you are talking about, but I don't know what it's called, other than "Stepford." Or a "Martha Stewart" type.

Personally I tend to just think of a woman like that as a "b***h", even if they seem like a really nice person, because that kind of niceness can be really overbearing and pushy. But I've encountered very few who seem like genuinely nice people to begin with. It's phony and they will turn on you quick.

For men, it's called being part of the "good ol' boys network."

I have such a hard time understanding them. They sometimes act like they want to be my friend, but I don't think they actually do. I have no idea why they pretend they want to be my friend. If they actually want to be my friend I have no clue why they would want to be friends with someone like me. I have a feeling they just want to be entertained by me.

I do notice that they're "nice" a lot of the time, but their niceness seems patronizing, annoying and fake. I never trust people like that.

It's called a Dog. They are loving, highly social, very physical and enthusiastic. I wish I got one much sooner.
She seems like the perfect complement to my own traits.

The narcissist.

The autist thinks he doesn't belong to this planet, the narcissist thinks the planet is made specifically for him.
The autist tries to avoid chaotic situations as much as possible, the narcissist thrives in chaotic situations.
The autist tries to avoid social interaction, the narcissist actively seeks out as much social interaction as possible.
The autist is unconfident, insecure and vulnerable while the narcissist is self-possessed, arrogant and manipulative.
The autist is loyal and honest, the narcissist is a pathological liar who uses people to climb the social ladder.
The autist is passive and too concious of his/her own actions, the narcissist acts rash without taking responsibility and lacks remorse.
The autist is constantly pre-occupied with a specific activity, the narcissist is constantly pre-occupied with self betterment.

( obviously generalizations that may not apply to everyone )

Simon Baron-Cohen writes in his book 'Zero Empathy' about this.
He writes that there is a continuous spectrum between the extreme narcissist and the extreme autistic brain-wiring.
Ideally a balanced person is right in the middle between them, which most people are,
that's why they are called neuro-typical.
The narcissist has a highly socializing brain-wiring, which in the extreme case can become
psychopathic, with a complete lack of empathy, which leads to cruelty and manipulation.
On the other end of the spectrum you find the extreme systemizing brain-wiring, which gets pathological in severe autism, when people become completely unaware of their surroundings and can't look after themselves anymore, but can develop special savant abilities.
The book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' (forgot the author), is about the same issue.
Statistically girls are more often born with a more socializing brain-wiring, while boys have more often
a more systemizing brain-wiring, although most of them are still within the NT range.
But that is the reason why they often have problems communicating, and why so many
people find it difficult to maintain happy relationships with each other.
That book was written to help people with different brain-wiring to understand each other better.
It's also handy if you are on the AS spectrum and you want to know how NT's are thinking.

Sadly I have to agree, I was married to someone similar to this. But I don't agree that the narcissist "thrives", not really.

Yes, I had a boyfriend like that too. They seem to be very good at picking people with autistic traits for partners. Is that because they are easier to exploit?
And he didn't really thrive either, indeed he appeared to be very unhappy, because the world never complied with his will, so he needed to throw tantrums all the time.
And I duly empathized with him...

Argh. I was exactly like his mother. Now, I see this everywhere. If I meet someone I consider "nice" they are often with someone
like my ex.
I think it is because we will accept their behaviour where others won't. And when others find us boring or odd, this kind of person sees us
as the perfect audience/entourage.

Call me crazy but I thought asd was more about not being able to read peoples emotions and understand social cues. I was social, I was a social kamikaze. Maybe if I was smarter I would've been shy.

Being shy rocks but that mask always slips and I usually regret my lapse of attention

You've raise a good point, and the consensus about autism is changing in this regard. I suspect that you are a highly sensitive being, attuned to your senses and the surrounding ambiance of others. While I might not be good at 'reading' emotions, or playing societal games, I strongly sense the tone of any given environment and react accordingly.

The opposite of AS tend to be used car salesman or pressure salesman of different types, many highly successful politicians fit the description, like our past premier Dolton McGuinty. The people who use their words to acquire anything they want or need or as the shopping channel help wanted message said once said "if you can sell ice to people living in igloos in the artic" or something like that.

Last edited by rapidroy on 21 Sep 2014, 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Williams syndrome

Derek Jeter - Baseball Superstar

Social Skills wise although he certainly has hyperfocus. How does one be in public eye constantly for 20 years in today's world and never get in a scandal or seemingly say the wrong thing? That is a feat 99% of NT's could not come close to accomplishing.

I dunno.

The "aut" in "autism" means "self". They named the condition that because children who have it are remote from other people, and dont interact.

But people on the autism spectrum also have trouble reading social cues etc. Do they get that way because they are not interested in other people and dont learn the skills? Or do they become withrawn because they try to socialized and fail, and hurt and withraw? Chicken, or the egg?

And I'm just saying what some folks say. Not everything in life has "an opposite". But among the few folks who are familiar with William's Syndrome (even more rare than autism) are those who describe it as "kinda the opposite of autism". But "willies" have some traits in common with auties as well Ive heard.

In another thread, GhostNeanderthal posted this link about the Empathy Imbalance Hypothesis:
Empathy Imbalance Hypothesis

This hypothesis explains why Autism and Williams Syndrome have traits in common and why the opposite of autism is Anti-Social Personality Disorder or Narcissism.
(I'm posting a few excerpts from that long text in the link below:)

[...]
"The empathy imbalance hypothesis (EIH) of autism, in keeping with the theory of mind
hypothesis (Baron-Cohen, 1995), proposes that autism involves a significant
cognitive empathy (CE) deficit. However, the hypothesis also proposes,
in contrast to prevailing theory, that people with autism actually have a
heightened capacity for basic emotional empathy (EE).
This combination of a CE deficit and an EE
surfeit can be termed EE-dominated empathic imbalance."
[...]
"Defining empathy and Autism Empathy:
CE is the ability to understand and predict the behavior of others in
terms of attributed mental states, particularly epistemic mental states such
as believing, knowing, pretending, and guessing. Similarly, Blair (2005) wrote
that the term CE is used when ?the individual represents the internal mental
state of another individual?.
CE is thus synonymous with theory of mind or mentalizing (Baron-Cohen, 2003; Blair, 2005).
EE is an emotional response in an individual that stems from and parallels
the emotional state of another individual. Similarly, Hoffman (2000) defined
empathy as ?an affective response more appropriate to another?s situation
than one?s own.""
[...]
One way to test the hypothesis that CE and EE are separable systems
is to look for the potential empathy disorders that are consistent with such
a relationship.
I predicted the existence of four developmental empathy
disorders:
(a)CE deficit disorder (low CE ability combined with high EE sensitivity),
(b)EE deficit disorder (low EE sensitivity combined with high CE ability),
c) general empathy deficit disorder (low CE ability and low EE sensitivity), and
(d) general empathy surfeit disorder (high CE ability and high EE sensitivity).

I hypothesized that these four disorders tend to be part of
(1) autism,
(2) antisocial personality disorder,
(3) schizoid personality
disorder (and some cases of autism spectrum disorder), and
(4) Williams syndrome, respectively.
Williams syndrome is a neuro-developmental disorder
characterized by intellectual deficits, linguistic skill, hyper-sociability, and
concern for others.
People with schizoid personality disorder are solitary
individuals who unintentionally disregard social norms and appear to lack
empathy. Schizoid personality disorder, unlike schizotypal personality
disorder, is not closely related to the positive symptoms of schizophrenia
and can resemble Asperger syndrome.
According to this approach, autism and antisocial personality disorder
are opposite empathy imbalance disorders." [...]

Sorry for this wall of text, but I thought this may be interesting.